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'Nicolas's  hand  shot  out  and  caught  her  by  the  wrist.' 


THE 
CRYSTAL  HEART 

BY 
PHYLLIS  BOTTOME 

AUTHOR    OF   "the    DARK    TOWER,"    "THE   SECX)ND    FIDDLE," 

"the  servant  of  reality,"  etc 


WITH   PEN-AND-INK  DRAWINGS 
BY  NORMAN  PRICE 

AND  FRONTISPIECE   BY 
R.  L.  VAN  BUREN 


NEW  YORK 

THE  CENTURY  CO. 

1921 


Copyright,  1921,  by 
The  Century  Co. 


Printed  in  U.  S.  A. 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

"Nicolas's  hand  shot  out  and  caught  her  by  the 
wrist" Frontispiece 

"Maude  was  Joy's  companion  sister, — and  they  did 
everything  together" 9 

"  *But,  Nick,  you  know  I  like  you,  awfully,  even 
though  you  are  good'  " 42 

"Its  precipitous  sides  leaned  over  them  dark  and 
formidable" •      .        47 

"She  sat  on  the  edge  of  Joy's  bed" 53 

"But  Rosemary  did  recover  from  the  measles"     .        59! 

"Patch  was  sewing  in  the  nursery  when  Joy  opened 

the  question" 60 

"Dr.   Eames  stethoscoped  first  the  dolls  and  then 
Rosemary" 66 

"She  dropped  on  her  knees" 72 

"  *Joy,'  he  said  at  last,  ^Fve  come  back,  but  I  don't 
know  where  you  are'  ".......       83 

"He  ran  across  Joy  unexpectedly  at  the  churchyard 
gate" 97 

"  'You're  the  beginning,'  said  Nicolas  quietly,  'and 
you're  the  end' "     .      .      . lOO 

V 


vi  LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

"  'Being  married  must  make  it  easier  to  tell  people 
things'" 

"  *Being  proper  isn't  the  way  to  get  married  now*  " 

"The  wedding  went  off  very  well''       .... 

"She  gave  it  to  her  mother  to  read"     .... 

"^Viiss  Mullory  sat  down  immediately" 

"The  twins  were  having  their  bath"     .... 

"Everything  about  Joy  reminded  Owen  of  the 
country" 162 

"A  gardener  found  her' lying  in  a  little  heap"    .      .      167 

**This  sheltered,  fairy-like  child,  playing  with  un- 
known fires,  wasn't  like  another  woman"     .      .      177 

'''There  was  something  dazzling  about  him,  as  if  he 
were  more  than  just  her  friend  and  Julia's  hus- 
band"  181 

**  *Yes,'  said  Joy  very  softly,  *it's  as  quiet  as  a 
prayer'" .      185 

*'Joy  did  not  dream  that  Owen  sang  only  for  her"     192 

"She  was  still  awake  and  reading,  by  the  light  of  a 
small  lamp" 201 

"She  was  sitting  close  by  a  large  open  window"     .     224 


9m^  ^^'^ 


r.  .ui^^"-' 


THE 
CRYSTAL  HEART 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


Love  was  born  on  a  May  morn. 

But  he  died 

At  eventide, 
An  eventide  in  June. 

— E.  H.  COLERIDOE. 


MRS.  FEATHERSTONE  had  called  her 
Joy  because  she  came  into  the  world  with 
the  barest  whimper,  and  seemed  subsequently  to 
be  so  contented  with  her  arrival. 

She  liked  all  the  things  that  babies  usually  like, 
warmth  and  her  mother's  breast,  the  feel  of  re- 
sponsible fingers  and  safe  knees.  But  she  liked 
also,  from  the  first,  the  hazard  and  strangeness 
of  baths,  the  hard,  bright  rims  of  basins,  the  lone- 
liness of  her  deep  cot,  and  the  clutch  of  her  help- 
less fingers  upon  naked  air.  Nobody  needed  to 
provide  Joy  with  a  dummy  or  a  coral  ring.  Be- 
hind her  very  large  blue  eyes  lay  secrets  of  incom- 
municable mirth. 

3 


4     '  '      TtilE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Elder  sisters  might  nurse  her  with  the  awkward 
handling  of  awe,  presumptuous  brothers  might 
toss  her  toward  the  ceiling  with  the  impunity  of 
ignorance,  she  might  be  left  alone  for  hours  to 
crawl  all  over  the  vast  expanses  of  the  nursery 
floor,  and  when  a  remorseful  nurse  hurried  up- 
stairs, after  an  inordinate  tea,  to  see  what  had 
happened  to  baby,  Joy  would  still  be  found  smil- 
ing unexactingly  at  the  universe. 

Earth  and  air  were  alike  to  Joy,  a  friendly 
playground;  and  human  beings,  even  her  father 
with  his  irritating  beard,  born  to  be  her  play- 
fellows. For  all  the  animal  creation  she  had  an 
ecstatic  and  unhesitating  ardor.  At  two  years  old 
the  highest  form  of  human  pleasure  known  to  her 
was  being  hurled  upon  a  gravel  path  by  an  Aire- 
dale and  having  her  fur  bonnet  amicably  worried. 
Reinforced  by  a  biblical  picture  in  the  nursery, 
her  love  of  lambs  became  a  mania.  At  three  years 
old  she  was  accused  of  blasphemy  because  she  per- 
sisted in  stating  to  an  elder  sister  that  she  had 
found  the  Lamb  of  God  in  the  field  below  the 
garden. 

She  was  discovered  at  the  same  early  age  fol- 
lowing the  local  shepherd  and  his  flock,  trailing 
faint,  but  eager,  in  the  dusty  rear  of  the  sheep, 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  5 

two  miles  from  home,  under  a  pink  sunbonnet, 
fully  convinced  that  she  had  found  the  Good 
Shepherd,  and  was  approaching  paradise.  The 
shepherd  apologized  profusely  for  this  involun- 
tary abduction,  but  averred  that  he  could  n't  call 
her  '*off  it,"  she  was  **that  set." 

Even  at  three  years  old  Joy  was  a  difficult  baby 
to  convince  of  sin.  Her  visions  shook  reality  out 
of  her  head,  and  made  her  deal  elastically  with 
circumstance.  All  the  little  Featherstones  (there 
were  nine  of  them)  were  plucky.  They  had  been 
taught  by  their  mother  never  to  tell  lies  and  not 
to  cry  when  they  were  hurt,  but  usually  they  had 
some  sense  of  the  inimical  in  things  and  people. 

Joy  had  none.  If  a  hand  had  been  raised 
against  her,  she  would  have  grasped  it  confid- 
ingly; nor  was  there  any  enmity  set  between  her 
and  a  serpent. 

Day  after  day,  unknown  to  the  entire  house- 
hold, she  visited  a  vicious  horse  in  the  stables. 
She  had  heard  her  father  say  it  was  **a  dangerous 
brute,"  and  she  knew  he  meant  something  not 
very  nice  by  **brute,"  but  she  did  not  know  what 
he  meant  by  '^dangerous."  It  hurt  Joy  to  think 
that  so  noble  a  creature  as  a  horse  should  be 
called  something  that  did  not  sound  quite  nice. 


6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

She  was  afraid  that  Skylark  might  have  overheard 
the  criticism  and  taken  it  to  heart.  She  had  to 
stand  on  a  wooden  box  to  reach  up  to  the  handle 
of  the  loose-box,  but  she  opened  the  door  very 
carefully,  so  as  not  to  startle  Skylark,  who  stood 
looking  down  at  her  with  all  the  whites  of  his 
vicious  eyes  rolling,  his  teeth  bared,  and  his 
ears  plastered  flat  against  his  wicked  head.  He 
had  not  quite  made  up  his  mind  what  he  was 
going  to  do  to  her. 

Joy  stood  quietly  under  his  nose,  holding  an 
apple  out  on  a  flat  hand,  and  murmuring  affection- 
ate and  unveracious  praises  of  his  nature. 

Skylark's  great  nostrils  dilated  nervously  above 
her,  and  then  he  moved  to  one  side  to  give  the 
little  figure  room,  dropped  his  velvet  nose  down 
to  her  hand,  and  took  his  apple.  It  cannot  be 
said  that  a  fruit  diet  altered  Skylark's  unpleasant 
disposition,  but  he  never  betrayed  his  temper  to 

Joy- 

What  she  took  him  to  be  he  was  as  far  as  she 
was  concerned  until  Mr.  Featherstone  succeeded 
in  selling  him  to  a  friend. 

After  Skylark's  departure  Joy  tried  to  content 
herself  with  the  stable  cat,  a  creature  of  nomad 
habits  and  without  natural  affections.    The  stable 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  7 

cat  had  lost  an  ear,  her  frequent  families  van- 
ished like  the  dawn,  and  she  had  no  charm  for 
any  one  but  Joy.  Joy  was  heard  murmuring  softly 
over  her  as  she  tried  to  claw  her  way  out  of  the 
child's  sheltering  arms:  '*You  mustn't  mind  not 
being  a  dog,  dear  Kitty,  nor  even  an  inside  cat. 
I  love  you  much  the  best,  and  I  spect  God  does. 
You  see,  it 's  so  kind  of  you  to  be  a  stable  cat." 

The  dogs  (the  entire  household  of  dogs,  rang- 
ing between  eight  and  ten,  and  not  counting  Mr. 
Featherstone's  two  retrievers,  who  were  not  al- 
lowed indoors)  worshiped  the  ground  Joy  walked 
on.  They  belonged  to  the  other  children  (Joy 
was  seldom  the  legal  possessor  of  anything),  but 
they  served  Joy  first  in  the  spirit.  When  she  came 
dancing  out  on  the  lawn,  they  let  the  nine  points 
of  the  law  escape,  and  danced  with  her.  Joy  al- 
ways danced.  She  danced  on  the  tips  of  her  toes 
when  she  was  angry,  and  she  danced  like  an  un- 
flurried  bird  when  she  was  glad. 

What  she  did  when  she  was  sad  was  never 
known;  there  was  no  apparent  pause  between  her 
ecstasies.  She  grew  a  little  wistful  sometimes 
over  the  sharp  nursery  feuds  which  raged  above 
her  devoted  head,  or  she  could  take  a  violent 
tooth-and-claw  part  in  them  when  roused;  but 


8  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

nothing  baffled  for  long  her  sense  of  life's  enchant- 
ments. 

•  She  set  the  multiplication  table  to  a  tune,  and 
when  she  was  given  dry  bread  and  water  for  a 
punishment,  she  turned  it  into  a  fairy-story,  and 
asked  if  she  might  have  it  every  night  for  a  treat. 
Joy  was  not  a  naughty  child,  but  life  did  not  have 
the  same  horizons  for  her  as  it  had  for  the  other 
children;  her  horizons  were  farther  away  and 
more  luminous. 

They  were  all  children  of  the  same  parents,  but 
they  called  themselves  the  ''first"  and  ''second" 
families  on  account  of  a  prolonged  break  in  their 
ages.  Margaret,  Paul,  James,  and  Walter  were 
all  old,  and  vanished  into  the  world  rapidly,  with 
infrequent  and  romantic  returns.  Joy  and  Maude, 
Archie  and  Rosemary,  were  comparatively  young 
and  had  an  air  of  permanence. 

Rosemary  was  so  young  that  she  was  like  Joy's 
own  child.  Joy  was  nine  when  Rosemary  was 
born,  and  in  an  instant  her  passion  for  puppies, 
kittens,  dolls,  and  even  waterfalls  sank  into  insig- 
nificance. Joy  loved  everything  and  everybody 
still,  but  she  knew,  when  she  gazed  down  at  this 
unexpected  visitant,  pinched,  a  little  yellow,  with 
a  whining  cry  and  a  rather  more  unstable  neck 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  9 

than  most  babies,  that  she  could  never  love  any- 
thing so  much  again. 

Maude  was  Joy's  companion  sister, — there  was 
barely  a  year  between  them, — and  they  did  every- 
thing together;  but  Maude  was  n't  like  a  new-born 
baby.  On  the  contrary,  she  often  seemed  older 
and  wiser  than  Joy.     She  knew  more  about  the 


"Maude  was  Joy's  companion  sister, — and  they  did  everything  together" 

world  and  how  to  act  in  it,  and  she  was  n't  at  all 
easily  dazzled  by  its  charms.  The  likeness  be- 
tween the  sisters  was  very  strong,  but  all  Joy's 
features  that  ought  to  be  small  were  smaller,  and 
all  her  features  that  ought  to  be  large  were  larger, 
than  Maude's.  Her  coloring  was  delicately,  firmly 
pink,  whereas  Maude's  coloring  in  moments  of  ex- 
citement or  emotion  turned  to  mauve. 


lo  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Maude  deeply  resented  these  differences,  but 
she  was  relieved  to  find,  as  she  grew  older,  that 
she  usually  got  what  she  wanted,  whereas  Joy, 
tentative  and  never  on  the  lookout  for  possession, 
made  few  acquisitions,  and  could  usually  be  in- 
duced to  part  easily  with  those  that  she  had. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Featherstone  seldom  interfered 
with  their  children  and  lived  a  long  way  off.  There 
were  three  flights  of  stairs  between  the  nursery 
and  the  drawing-room,  and  there  was  a  great  gulf 
fixed  between  middle-aged  Victorian  imaginations 
and  those  of  their  offspring. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  was  still  a  very  handsome 
woman,  and  her  husband  had  been  exceptionally 
good-looking  when  he  was  young.  Unfortunately, 
he  had  not  worn  well.  Life  had  picked  out  his 
weaknesses  and  had  set  them  on  his  face.  He 
was  not  a  strong  character,  and  he  reinforced  his 
decisions  by  a  spirit  of  petty  tyranny.  He  was 
not  a  reasonable  man,  and  he  had  a  good  many 
principles,  which  he  fell  back  upon  for  defense 
when  his  intellect  failed  him.  This  is  apt  to  be 
an  aggravating  quality  in  family  life,  especially 
when  the  principles  are  said  to  be  religious;  and 
it  must  be  confessed  that  Mr.  Featherstone  irri- 
tated his  family  exceedingly.    When  they  got  the 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  n 

better  of  him  intellectually,  he  laid  them  out  mor- 
ally, and  put  an  edge  to  their  exasperation  by  ap- 
plying penalties.  He  had  not  so  strong  a  nature 
as  his  wife,  and  he  never  forgave  her  for  finding 
it  out. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  was  a  tolerant,  quiet  woman 
with  a  dreadful  courage  and  a  merciless  sense  of 
humor.  She  was  not  the  wife  for  a  weak,  vain 
man  who  wanted  to  pose  as  master  in  his  own 
house.  She  let  him  pose,  but  he  knew  that  sJie 
saw  through  his  pose. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  never  laughed  at  him  out 
loud,  and  she  never  gave  him  away  to  any  one 
else,  not  even  to  her  children.  She  belonged  to 
a  generation  of  women  who  kept  married  un- 
happiness  to  themselves  and  did  not  think  it  a 
matter  of  great  importance. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  loved  the  country,  the 
moors,  which  stretched  for  miles  behind  the  house, 
and  the  sea,  which  lay  beneath  the  cliffs  in  front 
of  it,  with  passion.  She  loved  her  children  with 
indulgence  and  common  sense,  and  she  did  not 
iove  her  husband  at  all.  Yet  she  no  more  dreamed 
of  giving  him  up  than  she  dreamed  of  giving  up 
Rock  Lodge  because  it  faced  north  and  the  kitchen 
range  was  extremely  inconvenient. 


12  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

She  ncTer  failed  Mr.  Featherstone  In  any  of 
the  duties  of  a  wife,  and  as  a  housekeeper  she 
was  faultless.  Mrs.  Featherstone  had  never  been 
very  intimate  even  with  her  children,  but  they  all 
adored  her  and  took  from  her  their  cue  to  life. 
She  had  no  favorites;  that  is  to  say,  no  one  dis- 
covered which  was  her  favorite.  She  did  not 
punish  easily,  and  she  never  praised. 

She  visited  the  nursery  at  breakfast-time,  kiss- 
ing each  child  once,  satisfied  herself  that  they  were 
clean,  healthy,  and  without  real  grievances,  and 
did  not  see  them  again  until  after  nursery  tea, 
when  she  had  them  down-stairs  with  her  till  bed- 
time. If  there  were  visitors,  the  children  played 
by  themselves  with  drawing-room  toys  on  the 
floor,  and  if  they  were  alone,  Mrs.  Featherstone 
read  out  loud  to  them  in  a  musical  voice,  and  with 
a  singularly  perfect  diction,  Dickens,  Sir  Walter 
Scott,  and  Tennyson's  poetry. 

She  never  allowed  any  of  her  children  to  tell 
tales,  or  to  boast  of  anything  they  could  do  or 
possessed.  The  most  awful  thing  she  could  say,  be- 
cause they  knew  how  very  much  she  meant  it,  was, 
"You  are  not  behaving  like  a  well-bred  child." 
Nevertheless,  in  moments  of  real  grief  all  the 
children  knew  they  could  safely  turn  to  their 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  13 

mother.  She  did  not  underestimate  youthful  dis- 
aster. 

When  the  stable  cat  died  (to  be  accurate,  she 
came  by  her  death  through  having  given  undue 
provocation  to  Archie's  new  bull-terrier)  and  Mrs. 
Featherstone  found  Joy  lying  prostrate  beside 
her,  having  tried,  without  advantage,  stretching 
herself  over  Eliza's  mangled  form  seven  times, 
according  to  the  familiar  example  of  the  prophet 
Elijah  when  raising  the  widow's  only  son,  Mrs. 
Featherstone  knew  that  no  light  comfort  would 
suffice. 

Joy  was  confronted  by  death  for  the  first  time, 
and  the  universe  reeled  under  the  shock  of  her 
discovery. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  took  Joy  Into  her  arms  and 
set  to  work  to  rob  the  grave  of  its  victory. 

"Poor  Eliza,"  she  said  soothingly,  ''will  never 
feel  pain  any  more." 

**She  can't  lap  milk,"  wailed  Joy.  "Why  can't 
Eliza  lap  milk?  I've  tried,  oh,  I've  tried  so 
hard  to  raise  her !  I  've  asked  God  till  I  'm  sick 
of  Him.  I  don't  believe  He  's  there.  I  don't 
believe  a  kind  God  would  make  a  cat  go  stiff  for 
nothing." 

Mrs.  Featherstone's  mind  raced  hurriedly  over 


14  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

the  possible  alternatives  to  this  problem  and  re- 
jected all  the  more  plausible  ones. 

**I  'm  afraid,"  she  said  gently,  "it  was  Archie's 
new  bull-terrier  who  did  it.  You  know  we  can  all 
hurt  each  other  if  we  like.  God  lets  us,  but  He 
does  n't  like  it.  He  wants  us  to  help  each  other 
instead.  But  if  we  had  n't  the  power  to  do  harm, 
we  could  n't  have  the  power  to  do  good,  either. 
We  must  have  both;  and  if  we  misuse  our  power, 
dreadful  things  happen." 

Joy's  sob  slackened. 

"I  'm  not  sure,"  she  said  tearfully,  and  it  was 
her  first  doubt  of  any  created  thing,  '*that  God 
ought  to  have  made  a  bull-terrier  at  all  if  He 
did  n't  want  Eliza  to  be  hurt.  O  Mummy,  what 
happens  to  stiff  cats?" 

Mrs.  Featherstone  looked  at  Eliza,  dispassion- 
ately. It  was  difficult  to  predict  a  future  for  a 
cat  of  such  exclusively  materialistic  habits,  but 
she  did  the  best  she  could,  and  suggested  a  hand- 
some funeral  for  Eliza's  immediate  present. 

*'And  may  we  pick  the  Madonna  lilies  under 
the  wall?"  asked  Joy,  leaping  to  her  feet  in  re- 
covered ecstasy. 

Much  to  the  gardener's  annoyance,  Mrs.  Feath- 
erstone agreed  to  the  sacrifice  of  the  lilies,  and 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  15 

Eliza's  grave  was  strewn  with  this  inappropriate 
emblem.  Joy  danced  hand  in  hand  with  Mrs. 
Featherstone  about  the  sacred  spot,  singing  with 
touching  fervor  her  favorite  hymn, 

There   is  a  Home  for  little  children, 
above   the   bright   blue   sky. 

It  is  to  be  hoped  that  Eliza's  spirit  was  accom- 
modated elsewhere,  as  she  had  a  very  strong  dis- 
like of  children,  and  would  have  deeply  resented 
any  home  which  was  given  up  to  them. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  read  the  *'Morte  d' Arthur" 
out  loud  to  the  assembled  family  after  tea.  She 
knew  that  as  a  picture  of  death  it  was  a  little  fanci- 
ful, but  she  longed  to  remove  the  last  traces  of 
horror  that  still  lingered  in  Joy's  eyes. 

The  reading  was  a  great  success.  The  seven 
queens  and  the  dark  barge  overlaid  the  specter 
of  reality.  Eliza  and  King  Arthur  floated  into 
the  land  of  Avalon  together, 

Where  far  beyond  those  voices  there  is  peace. 


II 

IT  was  Joy's  fourteenth  birthday  and  the  first 
of  June.  She  started  the  day  at  dawn.  Every 
bird  in  Devonshire  was  awake,  and  all  of  them 
seemed  to  Joy  to  be  in  the  Rock  Lodge  garden. 

Fat  thrushes  with  operatic  voices  shook  them- 
selves into  trances,  blackbirds,  with  ringing  notes 
piercingly  sweet  and  loud,  got  the  better  of  the 
most  reluctant  worms,  and  divided  their  talents 
with  impartial  rapture  between  securing  their 
breakfast  and  making  most  meticulous  music. 
Chaffinches  sprayed  their  brief  melodies  from 
bough  to  bough,  and  every  finch  and  lark  and  tiny 
wren  set  the  seal  of  their  loud  joy  upon  the  morn- 
ing. 

Far  away  in  a  hollow  glen  the  cuckoo  dropped 
his  wandering  challenges,  playing  hide  and  seek 
with  outraged  heads  of  families.  Muffling  the 
ecstatic  screams  of  a  fox-terrier  puppy  called  Ab- 
solom  under  her  skirt,  Joy  crept  out  upon  the 
lawn. 

I6 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  17 

The  lawn  was  very  wet  with  dew,  and  Joy  had 
taken  neither  time  nor  pains  over  her  toilet.  She 
was  the  age  of  Juliet,  but  she  had  none  of  Juliefs 
preoccupations.  Her  mind  was  as  blank  and  in- 
nocent as  a  new-born  leaf  blowing  this  way  and 
that  to  catch  a  light  adventure.  She  looked  back 
at  the  old  house  with  a  sudden  thrill,  at  her  heart. 
It  was  hers ;  it  must  be  hers  forever.  The  trans- 
figuring golden  light  covered  it,  and  the  birds'  per- 
sistent voices  all  around  it  made  it  like  a  shell  of 
melody.  All  the  happiness  of  Joy's  smooth  and 
eager  years  was  harvested  in  its  old  walls. 

She  could  not  think  of  life  without  her  home. 
The  mossy,  precipitous  drive  the  horses  had  to  be 
lead  so  carefully  up  and  down,  the  swift  drops 
and  scrambles  of  the  little  paths  from  rocky  plat- 
form to  rocky  platform  on  which  garden  beds 
yielded  only  to  the  stoutest  and  most  persistent 
flowers,  were  as  much  a  part  of  her  as  Maude 
and  Archie.  The  Rock  Lodge  garden  was  bad 
for  gardeners,  but  it  was  a  paradise  for  children. 
Joy  put  Absolom  down  gingerly,  and  watched  a 
white  and  clamorous  streak  pass  through  the 
shrubberies  and  out  on  to  the  moors.  Absolom 
had  smelt  rabbits,  and  the  law  and  the  prophets 
no  longer  existed  for  him. 


1 8  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

There  was  nothing  to  be  done  but  to  fly  after 
him.  Joy's  skirts  were  short,  her  legs  were  long 
and  slender;  she  flew  without  increase  of  breath 
up  the  steep  path  which  led  to  the  moor.  She 
had  not  meant  to  go  to  the  moor;  she  had  meant 
to  go  down  to  the  village  and  thank  the  villagers 
for  sending  her  presents.  She  had  found  in  the 
hall,  left  overnight,  a  jackdaw,  two  baby  rabbits 
in  a  basket,  cowslip  wine,  and  heather  honey. 
They  came  from  the  little  pink,  shell-like  cottages 
hidden  in  the  trees  below  her.  Lynton  was  full 
of  smiling,  calm,  immovable  people  with  strong 
instincts  and  pleasant  manners,  who  hated  slowly 
and  steadily,  loved  forever,  and  on  the  whole 
minded  their  own  business  with  placidity ;  and  they 
were  all  Joy's  friends.  Nobody  ever  hurried  or 
altered  their  plans  at  Lynton,  or  tried  to  please 
anybody  more  than  they  intended  to  go  on  pleas- 
ing them,  and  nobody  ever  changed. 

"So  if  I  live  here  always,''  Joy  thought  as  she 
hurried  up  the  path,  "they  '11  always  love  me." 
Life  stretched  before  her  like  the  summer  day, 
sunny  and  inexhaustible. 

When  she  reached  the  top  of  the  moor  above 
the  house,  Absolom  had  vanished. 

Far  away,  and  yet  so  near  that  she  could  have 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  19 

dropped  a  pebble  on  to  it,  lay  the  lawn  of  Rock 
Lodge,  with  the  unshaken  summer  sea,  as  still  as 
bluebells  in  a  wood,  beneath  it.  The  little  perched 
and  sliding  town  of  Lynton  clung  to  the  cliff 's-edge 
above  the  deep-green  valley  of  the  Watersmeet. 
The  valley  lay  between  two  steep  and  heather- 
tufted  cliffs ;  a  rapid  river  with  waterfalls  tossed 
a  bright,  impatient  way  under  green  bushes  from 
end  to  end  of  it. 

Three  streams  met  high  up  in  the  valley,  raged 
and  played  together  in  a  fine  lather  of  waterfalls, 
and  then  united  in  a  swift  and  businesslike  way 
in  a  race  to  the  sea.  Joy  had  followed  all  the 
streams  to  their  source  and  knew  half  their  se- 
crets, where  to  find  a  company  of  kingcups  over- 
looking a  deep  pool,  and  where  the  big  trout  lay 
under  the  shelving  rock. 

But  she  never  told  the  boys  where  the  trout 
lay;  she  had  no  wish  for  the  death  of  living  things. 
It  was  one  of  the  reasons  why  she  liked  best  to  be 
alone  with  Absolom  and  Rosemary.  Absolom 
and  Rosemary  were  too  young  to  kill  anything; 
they  could  chase  rabbits  all  day  long,  and  no  one 
be  the  worse  for  it.  Nicolas  was  different.  He 
liked  to  kill  rats  in  a  barn  with  terriers,  and  he 
liked  it  better  if  Joy  was  there  to  see.     Not  that 


20  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

you  could  call  Nicolas  cruel;  he  was  remarkably 
kind.  He  carried  Rosemary  for  hours  on  his  back 
when  she  was  tired,  and  mended  anything  that 
was  broken.  Nicolas  was  part  of  Joy's  life,  too, 
quite  as  much  as  any  of  her  brothers;  rather  more, 
perhaps.  Not  that  Joy  could  have  described  what 
Nicolas  was  to  her.  He  was  Nicolas,  and  came 
a  long  way  after  Rosemary  in  her  affections. 

The  Pennants,  who  were  his  people,  lived  only 
four  miles  away  at  Foxglove  Hall,  and  came  over 
constantly  on  ponies.  The  only  fault  Joy  had 
ever  had  to  find  in  Nicolas  beyond  the  rats,  which 
was  hardly  a  fault,  as  all  boys  shared  the  same 
desire  for  their  extinction,  was  that  Maude  wanted 
him  to  like  her  best,  and  Nicolas  would  n't.  Joy 
had  explained  to  Nicolas  that  it  would  be  much 
simpler  if  he  would  like  Maude  best,  and  that  he 
could  go  on  liking  Joy  second  best,  which  would 
suit  her  just  as  well  and  be  pleasanter  all  round ; 
and  Nicolas,  with  his  curiously  hard  and  honest 
eyes  fixed  on  her,  had  said,  "You  little  fool,  I  shall 
like  you  best  as  long  as  I  live." 

It  was  curious  how  this  remark  had  remained 
with  her.  She  remembered  it  again  now  as  she 
sat  on  a  tuft  of  heather,  her  eyes  ranging  far  and 
wide  in  her  search  for  Absolom.    Nicolas  had  not 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  21 

explained  why  he  cared  for  her  like  that;  but,  then, 
Nicolas  never  explained  things :  he  only  did  them 
when  he  had  said  he  was  going  to  do  them,  and 
even  sometimes  when  he  had  not. 

He  was  going  to  take  her  to  the  Doone  Valley 
this  afternoon  alone,  and,  if  her  mother  would 
let  her,  on  Fidget.  As  soon  as  she  could  recover 
Absolom,  Joy  must  go  and  look  for  her  mother 
in  the  harness-room  and  ask  her  for  leave  to  ride 
Fidget  It  was  tiresome  that  on  her  birthday 
she  was  n't  to  have  Archie  and  Maude  with  her, 
but  Nicolas  had  said  it  was  his  last  day  at  home, 
where  a  broken  collar-bone  had  conveniently  laid 
him,  and  that  he  would  have  his  own  way  about 
it.  He  would  n't  have  minded  Rosemary,  but  it 
was  too  far  to  take  her,  and  Nicolas  had  been  so 
beautifully  kind  to  Joy — he  had  saved  all  his 
pocket  money  for  ages  to  buy  her  a  brindle  bulldog 
pup.  The  puppy  was  to  be  called  Ajax  and  was 
very  fat;  if  you  stuck  a  finger  into  him  he  rolled 
over.  He  was  the  most  deliciously  ferocious-look- 
ing lamb  of  a  puppy,  and  Nicolas  was  training 
him  to  be  obedient.  The  training  had  got  as  far 
as  Ajax  sitting  down  and  wagging  his  tall,  with 
his  head  on  one  side,  and  all  his  wrinkles  looking 
very  anxious,  whenever  Nicolas  addressed  him. 


22  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Ajax  was  one  of  the  dreams  of  Joy's  life  re- 
alized, and  she  shrank  from  being  ungracious  to 
the  giver  of  a  dream. 

The  silence  of  the  moors  inclosed  Joy  as  if  the 
skies  were  walls.  She  sat  very  still,  because  it 
seemed  as  if  her  whole  being  was  surrounded  by 
something  unseen.  It  was  a  curious  feeling  that 
she  had  had  before  when  she  was  quite  alone. 
If  you  kept  perfectly  still  and  did  n't  think  of  any- 
thing at  all,  you  melted  away  from  yourself ;  you 
became  a  part  of  the  day  and  of  the  listening  air. 
It  was  a  very  wonderful  feeling,  only  you  could 
never  tell  any  one  about  it.  It  was  like  being  a 
part  of  God. 

Three  white  gulls,  sailing  on  their  motionless 
wings,  sank  down  almost  on  a  level  with  her  head. 
She  watched  the  shadows  their  great  wings  made 
by  her  on  the  grass;  their  uncanny,  changeless, 
yellow  eyes  rested  on  her  as  if  to  see  whether  she 
was  fugitive  or  a  landmark.  It  was  quieter  than 
ever  when  they  were  gone,  so  quiet  that  Joy  could 
hear  her  own  heart  beat,  and  the  light  air  which 
stirred  the  grasses  had  a  song  in  it.  Everything 
she  loved  was  fast  asleep  below  her;  only  behind 
the  silent  beauty  something  that  was  akin  to  her 
was  stirring.     It  was  as  if  she  and  the  heather, 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  23 

the  butterflies,  and  the  small  golden  bees,  the  wide 
and  motionless  sea,  the  raveled  fleeces  of  the  sum- 
mer clouds,  were  all  balanced  and  held  upon  a 
giant  hand. 

The  silence  was  like  the  breath  of  some  great 
being;  and  if  his  silence  was  so  golden,  what  would 
be  his  speech  ?  Far  away  below  her  in  the  time- 
ridden  world  she  heard  a  clock  strike  eight. 

It  was  a  long  while  before  the  sound  reached 
her  senses.  When  it  did,  she  shivered  as  if  she 
were  called  back  from  a  perpetual  safety.  Mother 
would  be  up  now  in  the  harness-room  cleaning 
Fidget's  harness.  Far  away  at  the  cliff's-edge  Joy 
caught  a  flash  of  white  moving  in  and  out  of  the 
low  furze-bushes.  The  flash  stopped  dead  as  her 
voice  recalled  it.  "Absoloml  Absoloml"  For 
a  few  moments  Absolom  continued  his  search,  pre- 
tending that  he  had  heard  nothing,  but  not  for 
long.  Joy  was  upon  him  fleeter  than  his  own  four 
legs,  and  had  him  by  the  scruff  of  the  neck.  He 
slued  a  wicked,  jocular  eye  at  her,  well  knowing  the 
worst  that  would  come  to  him,  and  as  soon  as  he 
was  released  after  a  perfunctory  shake,  crept  with 
imitation  shivers  to  her  heel. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  had  bought  Fidget  with  her 
pig  money.     The  grooms  had  enough  to  do  with 


24  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

the  carriage  horses,  two  hunters,  and  the  children's 
ponies,  so  Mrs.  Featherstone  did  everything  for 
I^idget  herself. 

Fidget  was  a  standing  reproach  to  the  grooms. 
Her  coat  was  as  soft  as  satin,  her  harness  sparkled 
on  the  dullest  mornings,  and  her  leather  had  the 
fine  smoothness  of  a  laurel-leaf. 

Her  character  was  almost  worth  the  care  taken 
over  her  personal  appearance,  for  Fidget  had  a 
warm  and  generous  heart.  She  was  at  once  lively 
and  reliable,  and  if  she  had  not  been  so  obviously 
a  lady,  she  might  have  been  described  as  a  "per- 
fect gentleman." 

She  let  herself  go  on  grass,  and  walked  deli- 
cately as  if  on  egg-shells  down  the  awkward  drive. 
Any  one  with  judgment  and  nerve  could  ride  her, 
but  it  must  be  owned  that  she  felt  herself  com- 
pelled to  unseat  any  one  who  attempted  to  ride 
her  without  these  two  qualities.  She  gave  her 
best  to  her  rider,  and  expected  consideration  and 
sympathy  in  return.  Joy  slipped  into  the  harness- 
room,  Absolom  bustling  in  beside  her  with  an  air 
of  never  having  left  her  side. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  kissed  her  daughter  with  un- 
usual tenderness.  She  wondered  if  many  mothers 
had  so  straight  and  lithe  and  beautiful  a  girl  to 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  25 

greet  upon  her  fourteenth  birthday,  and  knew 
that  none  of  them  had  ever  greeted  one  so  inno- 
cent, and  so  unconscious  of  her  beauty. 

"I  'm  going  with  Nicolas  if  I  may,"  Joy  asked 
breathlessly,  **and  may  I  ride  Fidget  as  a  birth- 
day treat?  If  I  must  n't,  may  we  have  lunch  and 
walk?  We  want  to  go  to  the  top  of  the  Doone 
Valley. 

**I  finished  'Lorna  Doone'  last  night.  Nicolas 
promised  to  take  me.  He  says  all  the  savage 
Doones  are  dead,  but  I  think  there  might  be  rather 
a  nice  one  left." 

Mrs.  Featherstone  took  up  Fidget's  immaculate 
bit  and  redoubled  the  polish  on  it. 

*'And  what  about  Maude  and  Archie?"  she 
asked. 

'^Nicolas  says  not,"  Joy  explained  regretfully. 
**He  thinks  the  ponies  couldn't  take  them  there 
and  back,  and,  besides,  I  don't  think  he  particu- 
larly wants  them.  Archie  says  he  does  n't  care 
about  the  Doones  if  they  're  dead,  anyway;  but  I 
think  Maude  would  have  liked  to  go." 

"And  yet  Nicolas  seems  to  have  thought  it  not 
too  far  for  you  to  walk,"  said  Mrs.  Featherstone, 
reflectively. 

''He  knows  a  short  cut  for  walking,"  Joy  ex- 


26  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

plained;  **but  walking  isn't  quite  so  like  a  birth- 
day, is  it?" 

'*No/'  agreed  Mrs.  Featherstone.  **Well, 
you  '11  be  quite  all  right  with  Nicolas,  of  course, 
and  you  may  ride  Fidget.  Only  come  back  in 
time  for  your  birthday  tea  at  five,  and  bring  Nico- 
las with  you.  The  rest  of  the  Pennants  are  com- 
ing over  then.  You  are  getting  rather  old  now," 
she  stated,  glancing  at  her  daughter.  "You  're 
nearly  as  tall  as  I  am." 

"I  don't  feel  old,"  said  Joy,  truthfully;  "I  think 
it 's  only  my  legs." 

*'I  dare  say  it  is,"  Mrs.  Featherstone  agreed. 
"Still,  I  think  at  fourteen  I  told  Margaret  she 
must  stop  kissing  boys  and  men  except  her  father 
and  brothers,  and  I  suppose  you  had  better  do  the 
same.     Nicolas  is  eighteen  now,  isn't  he?" 

"Yes,  he 's  something  awful  at  Winchester 
which  sounds  like  ^preposterous,'  but  means  you 
can  do  as  you  like,"  said  Joy.  "He  's  going  back 
to-morrow  because  his  broken  collar-bone  's  all 
right.  I  'm  afraid  he  won't  like  my  not  kissing 
him  when  he  gives  me  Ajax.  Still,  I  can  kiss  Ajax 
instead,  can't  I?" 

"You  can  kiss  bull  pups  as  much  as  you  like," 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  27 

said  Mrs.  Featherstone,  gravely.  **Nicolas  will 
have  to  put  up  with  that  as  a  proxy." 

*'Mummy,"  Joy  asked  thoughtfully,  "are  men 
very  different  from  women?" 

Mrs.  Featherstone  looked  very  hard  at  Fidg- 
et's bridle  before  she  answered,  then  she  said 
slowly : 

"Not  particularly;  a  wise  woman  once  said  the 
older  she  grew  the  more  sure  she  felt  that  there 
were  only  two  kinds  of  people,  men  and  women, 
and  that  they  were  very  much  alike.  Still,  there 
are  certain  differences.  Women  have  to  remember 
one  or  two  things  in  their  behavior  to  men.  They 
must  never  allow  any  liberties  to  be  taken  with 
them,  and  they  must  not  encourage  men  whom  they 
do  not  wish  to  marry.  Admiration  is  very  nice, 
but  it  would  not  be  very  fair  to  accept  a  great  deal 
of  it  unless  you  were  prepared  to  give  something 
back.  Above  all,  they  must  play  the  game  witK 
other  women.  I  think  the  basest  thing  a  woman 
can  do  is  to  take  away  another  woman's  man." 

"But  they  can't  when  they  're  married,  can 
they?"  Joy  asked. 

"Not  without  sin,"  said  Mrs.  Featherstone, 
sternly. 

"I  don't  think  I  shall  ever  marry,"  said  Joy, 


28  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

standing  on  one  slim  foot  and  twirling  slowly 
round  on  it.  **I  think  I  shall  keep  children,  chick- 
ens, and  a  bulldog." 

Mrs.  Featherstone  put  down  the  bridle  with  a 
sigh,  which  might  have  been  relief  at  her  daugh- 
ter's untouched  innocence  or  despair  at  the  failure 
of  experience  to  reach  the  consciousness  of  youth. 

"I  wonder  If  you  would  like  to  be  confirmed  this 
year,"  she  suggested,  giving  up  the  problems  of 
this  world  to  touch  upon  the  lighter  ones  of  the 
next.  "You  may  wait  until  you  are  fifteen  If  you 
prefer  to  wait.  You  know  what  confirmation 
means,  don't  you?" 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  Joy,  lightly — "going  to  the 
other  service  and  being  able  to  be  a  godmother. 
I  should  like  to  be  nearly  everybody's  godmother 
in  Lynton.  I  don't  think  I  need  wait  till  I  'm  fif- 
teen, do  you?" 

"I  don't  know,"  said  Mrs.  Featherstone, 
thoughtfully.  "Confirmation  means  strengthen- 
ing. I  suppose  you  are  ready  to  be  confirmed 
when  you  wish  very  heartily  to  have  your  religion 
strengthened  and  are  prepared  to  do  your  best  to 
strengthen  it.    You  do  wish  that,  don't  you?" 

Joy  stopped  twirling,  and  opened  Fidget's  loose- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  29 

box.  She  had  found  a  carrot  on  the  harness-board 
and  gave  it  to  Fidget. 

Fidget  tossed  her  head  as  if  alarmed,  pretend- 
ing that  she  had  never  seen  a  carrot  before  and  be- 
lieved it  to  be  poisonous;  but  at  last  she  took  it 
with  extreme  caution  and  munched  it  with  delicate 
precision ;  then  she  rested  her  wet  mouth  affection- 
ately on  Joy's  shoulder. 

Joy  had  a  curious  feeling  rather  like  Fidget's 
about  the  carrot.  Did  she  really  want  religion? 
Might  n't  it  be  embarking  on  something  which 
would  prevent  the  taste  of  something  else?  But, 
like  Fidget,  in  the  end  she  took  the  carrot.  After 
all,  she  had  always  liked  what  she  knew  of  God, 
and  why  should  n't  she  like  even  more  what  she 
didn't  know?  Presumably,  religion  was  that 
which  taught  you  more. 

"There  is  the  breakfast-bell,"  said  Mrs^  Feath- 
erstone.  **Shut  the  loose-box  door  carefully, 
and  wash  your  hands.  You  can  certainly  be  con- 
firmed at  the  next  confirmation  if  you  like."  This 
was  all  the  advice  that  Mrs.  Featherstone  gave 
her  daughter  to  fortify  her  to  meet  the  problems 
of  this  life  and  the  next. 


Ill 

THEY  were  all  assembled  about  the  door  to 
see  Joy  mount  Fidget.  Nicolas,  with  Ajax 
crammed  in  a  bag  under  one  arm,  had  ridden 
Moonlighter  over  with  some  difficulty,  and  de- 
posited Ajax,  who  was  half  suffocated  with  what 
he  had  succeeded  in  biting  out  of  the  bag,  at  her 
feet. 

"O  Nicolas !"  she  gasped,  "how  angelic  of  you ! 
I  must  n't  kiss  you,  because  I  'm  fourteen,  but  I 
can  kiss  Ajax.     Is  n't  he  too  heavenly?" 

"Oh,  I  see,"  said  Nicolas,  drawing  back  against 
Moonlighter  and  turning  rather  red  and  stiff. 

Joy  knew  by  his  voice  that  he  had  n't  liked  it. 
She  had  guessed  he  would  not,  and  hiding  Ajax 
in  a  cloud  of  her  long  hair,  she  kept  her  face  away 
from  Nicolas  so  that  she  should  n't  see  how  much 
he  minded.  Nicolas  never  liked  any  one's  seeing 
that  he  minded;  and  then  she  heard  Maude  say: 

"But  you  can  still  kiss  me,  Nicolas." 

A     moment's     comfort     seized    Joy's    heart. 

Wouldn't    this    friendly    substitution    do?      She 

looked  up  quickly,  and  saw  that  it  had  n't. 

30 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  31 

Nicolas  bent  his  head  politely,  and  went  through 
the  form  of  kissing  the  cheek  forced  upon  his  re- 
luctant notice ;  but  his  gray  eyes  looked  very  cold, 
and  his  whole  expression  resembled  Jacob's  when, 
"Lo  I  in  the  morning  he  found  it  was  Leah." 

"Come  here,  and  I  '11  put  you  up,"  he  said 
shortly  to  Joy. 

She  pressed  Ajax  into  Archie's  willing  arms,  em- 
braced her  mother,  and  met  her  father's  eyes, 
which  appeared  as  usual  to  have  seen  something 
wrong  and  to  be  reserving  it  for  future  censure. 
He  never  had  things  out  with  them  at  the  time, 
as  their  mother  did.  Then  she  slipped  her  slim 
foot  into  Nicolas's  hand  and  sprang  up  to  Fidget's 
back. 

It  was  a  perilous  and  delicious  height.  Riding 
Fidget  was  utterly  unlike  riding  the  children's  two 
ponies,  Catch-Me  and  Merryweather ;  they  were 
quick  goers,  with  the  perverse  and  mischievous 
pony  hearts,  hard  mouths  and  unresponsive  intel- 
ligence. 

Fidget  was  like  having  all  your  own  nerves  un- 
der you,  and  somebody  else's  as  well.  Her  paces 
were  easy  and  intelligent,  her  response  like  light- 
ning. She  recognized  immediately  that  the  light 
figure  on  her  back  had  the  hands  and  seat  of 


32  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

a  born  rider,  and  would  give  her  the  sympathy 
she  needed. 

She  danced  about  a  little  in  the  drive,  hunched 
her  back,  and  sidled  like  a  crab,  and  then,  tossing 
her  head,  set  out  down  the  dangerous  path  as 
carefully  as  if  she  were  walking  on  a  tight  rope. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  looked  on  with  assured  and 
confident  eyes.  Then  she  moved  quickly  to  Moon- 
lighter's side  and  said  in  an  undertone,  "Take  care 
of  her,  Nicolas."  Aloud  she  said,  "You  '11  be 
back  to  tea  at  five  o'clock  sharp." 

Nicolas  touched  his  hat  and  nodded.  He  knew 
what  she  meant,  and  he  forgave  her  what  he  had 
to  forgive  her  for  the  sake  of  her  trust  in  him. 

"Really,  my  dear,"  said  Mr.  Featherstone, 
coldly,  "I  should  have  thought  that  even  you 
would  have  noticed  that  young  Pennant  is  no 
longer  a  child.  I  very  much  dislike  to  see  a  big 
girl  like  Joy  riding  about  the  country  alone  with 
him.  It  looks  bad,  very  bad  indeed,  and  is  enough 
to  start  a  scandal.  Besides,  I  'm  not  sure  that 
it 's  even  safe." 

"Oh,  Fidget's  perfectly  safe,"  said  Mrs.  Feath- 
erstone; "Joy  knows  how  to  ride." 

"I  was  n't  referring  to  the  horse,"  said  Mr. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  33 

Featherstone,  **but  to  the  young  man.  You  might 
at  least  have  sent  a  groom  with  them." 

**She  's  all  right  with  Nicolas,"  said  Mrs. 
Featherstone,  thoughtfully.  **But  I  'm  not  at  all 
sure  that  Nicolas  is  all  right  with  her.  However, 
poor  boy,  a  groom  could  hardly  remedy  that  state 
of  things." 

Mr.  Featherstone's  eyebrows  shot  up  into  his 
hair  with  annoyance. 

*  What  an  extraordinary  assertion  to  make,  An- 
gelica I"  he  said  coldly.  **But  if  you  have  brought 
Joy  up  to  be  forward,  I  cannot  say  that  I  feel  at 
all  surprised.  One  thing  I  must  insist  upon,  how- 
ever. These  unchaperoned  rides  must  not  con- 
tinue." 

"They  won't,"  replied  Mrs.  Featherstone; 
**Nicolas  goes  back  to  Winchester  to-morrow." 

Mr.  Featherstone  frowned  heavily  and  backed 
into  the  house.  He  could  find  no  fault  with  his 
wife's  acquiescence  in  his  orders,  and  yet  as  usual 
she  had  evaded  the  spirit  of  them.  It  was  as  if 
her  submission  was  accidental,  and  might  at  any 
time  spring  away  from  him  like  the  rebellious 
branches  of  a  tree. 

It  was  a  wonderful  ride.  They  went  down  and 
down  into  the  depths  of  Lynmouth,  and  across  the 


34  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

foaming  torrent  which  rages  through  the  main 
street  of  the  village,  and  then  they  climbed  up  out 
of  it,  on  to  the  top  of  the  world. 

As  far  as  the  eye  could  see  the  moor  stretched 
before  them,  broad  and  rimless,  into  the  high, 
clear  sky.  The  gorse-bushes  ran  here  and  there 
like  spilt  gold. 

Moonlighter  was  a  powerful  black  horse;  he 
suited  his  paces  to  Fidget's  with  gentlemanly  con- 
sideration. He  knew  better  than  to  disobey  the 
will  that  was  on  his  back. 

Neither  Nicolas  nor  Joy  talked  very  much  at 
first.  Nicolas  was  thinking  hard  of  what  he  meant 
to  say  to  Joy  and  of  what  he  intended  not  to  say 
to  her;  and  Joy  was  alive  in  a  world  of  her  own. 
She  felt  very  grown  up  because  she  was  on  Fidg- 
et's back,  and  yet  she  did  not  want  to  be  any 
more  grown  up  than  that.  She  wanted  not  to 
give  up  her  earlier  consciousness. 

It  was  joy  enough  to  share  the  life  of  the  climb- 
ing hedges,  to  pick  out  the  giant  foxgloves  in 
lonely  corners,  to  watch  for  the  honeysuckle,  flung 
like  a  network  of  embroidery  over  the  tops  of  the 
low  walls,  or  to  surprise  a  flock  of  pink  ragged- 
robins  in  a  ditch,  side  by  side  with  low  forget-me- 
nots.    She  feared  that  something  would  interrupt. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  35 

her  dreaming,  because  Nicolas  was  so  very  silent 
and  sat  so  stern  and  still  on  his  big  horse,  as  if 
there  was  a  storm  in  his  mind.  Nicolas  was  al- 
ways very  still  in  a  storm;  you  hardly  knew  that 
he  was  fighting  until  he  had  finished  fighting. 

She  glanced  at  him  from  time  to  time,  and 
thought  how  old  and  handsome  he  was.  His  well- 
knit,  erect  figure  was  so  like  what  Nicolas  was 
inside,  as  straight  as  a  die  and  as  hard  and  un- 
breakable as  a  sycamore.  His  gray  eyes,  under 
thick,  fair  brows,  had  the  sparkling  fighter's  spirit 
in  them;  his  mouth,  well  shaped  and  a  little  too 
thin,  was  the  mouth  of  a  boy  who  had  learned  very 
early  how  to  control  himself  and  others. 

He  could  be  very  gentle  when  he  felt  deeply 
and  very  implacable  when  he  did  not  feel.  Few 
people  touched  his  heart,  and  nobody  but  Joy  had 
ever  touched  his  imagination. 

Nicolas  would  have  been  a  romantic  figure  to 
Joy  if  she  had  not  known  him  so  well.  She  thought 
of  this  as  she  glanced  at  him,  and  knew  that,  after 
all,  he  was  only  Nicolas. 

He  was  the  sharer  of  a  hundred  childish  ad- 
ventures ;  she  had  seen  him  naughty  and  punished, 
dirty  and  red  with  temper,  and  the  picture  of  de- 
jection and  cleanliness  in  church  on  Sundays.    He 


36  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

was  just  the  same  as  when  they  had  been  cut  off 
by  the  tide,  when  she  was  eight  and  he  was  twelve, 
and  he  had  not  told  her  about  it,  but  made  her 
race  with  him  across  the  dwindling  sands,  and  she 
had  thought  he  was  so  unkind  to  make  her  run 
when  she  was  tired.  He  had  forced  her  on  against 
her  will,  but  without  panic,  until  they  reached  the 
dangerous  corner,  when  she  saw  the  waves  run- 
ning closer  and  closer  to  the  cliff 's-edge ;  and  then 
he  had  lifted  her  in  his  arms  and  staggered  through 
them  into  safety,  and  only  for  that  minute,  when 
the  cold  water  struck  and  dragged  at  them,  had  he 
let  her  know,  because  he  couldn't  help  it,  that 
there  was  any  danger. 

He  had  got  much  older  suddenly  while  he  was 
away  at  school,  and  his  voice  had  changed;  but 
Nicolas  had  n't  changed.  He  had  n't,  perhaps, 
changed  enough. 

When  they  got  on  to  the  moors.  Fidget  and 
Moonlighter  sniffed  the  keen  and  eager  air,  and 
thrilled  to  meet  it.  It  became  difficult,  and  then 
impossible,  to  hold  them  in;  they  let  themselves 
out  on  the  grass,  galloping  with  stretched  necks 
and  flying  hoofs.  The  sharp  air  ran  through 
them  and  over  them,  till  their  riders  felt  like 
runaway  giants.     The  horses  raced  side  by  side 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  37 

with  the  wind,  the  soft  turf  vanishing  under  them, 
and  the  open  moor  before  them. 

It  was  a  swift,  enchanting  hour.  Nicolas  never 
forgot  it;  it  was  his  most  perfect  moment  of  hu- 
man happiness.  Everything  he  wanted  was  near 
him  and  still  attainable,  with  his  own  will  and 
hand  to  guide  it. 

Joy  did  n't  think  about  happiness.  She  let  her 
spirit  out  on  the  back  of  speed.  No  emotion 
shadowed  her  free,  untroubled  consciousness.  She 
thought  of  nothing  but  the  air  and  their  passage 
through  it.  Now  at  last  she  knew  what  it  felt 
like  to  be  a  bird.  Fidget  moved  under  her  as 
easy  and  swift  as  wings.  The  air  sang  in  her 
ears  and  whipped  against  her  cheeks.  She  wanted 
to  go  on  forever  and  to  forget  that  she  was  ever 
human  and  a  girl ;  and  Nicolas  stopped  her. 

"It's  time  we  pulled  up,"  he  shouted;  **there 
are  rabbit-holes." 

She  looked  at  him  reproachfully.  Of  course 
it  was  perfectly  true  that  there  were  rabbit-holes, 
and  they  pulled  up. 

*  Jolly,  wasn't  it?"  said  Nicolas.  He  was 
smiling  now.  The  gallop  had  disposed  of  his  tem- 
per ;  at  least  Joy  thought  it  was  the  gallop.    She 


38  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

did  not  know  it  was  her  face.  Nicolas  let  his 
eyes  rest  on  her  with  brotherly  approval. 

*'You  ride  Fidget  well,"  he  said.  Behind  his 
brotherly  approval  and  scant  praise  his  heart  was 
at  her  feet. 

It  amazed  and  delighted  him  to  watch  her  un- 
troubled beauty.  The  hair  that  hung  below  her 
waist  was  the  color  of  ripe  corn,  her  eyes,  beauti- 
fully set  with  chiseled  lids,  were  of  the  deep,  un- 
shadowed blue  of  a  gentian;  her  lashes  were  long 
and  very  dark,  and  her  level,  thin,  black  eyebrows 
made  her  skin  look  as  white  and  soft  as  a  cloud. 
Her  features  were  small  and  delicately  finished; 
a  dimple  came  and  went  at  the  corner  of  her  red, 
tip-tilted  lips;  her  chin  was  a  little  pointed  and 
had  an  eager  air.  But  behind  her  beauty,  giving 
it  a  life  that  no  mere  loveliness  of  line  and  color 
could  give,  was  the  gendeness  of  her  heart. 

There  was  neither  pride  nor  tyranny  in  those 
soft  eyes  and  curving  lips;  only  a  deep  sincerity 
and  an  immense  well  of  eagerness  to  love  and  to 
be  loved. 

Nicolas  was  not  a  poetic  person,  but  as  he 
looked  at  her  he  remembered  a  line  of  a  poem 
which  seemed  descriptive  of  Joy, 

A  heart  at  leisure  from  itself,  to  soothe  and  sympathise. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  39 

Joy  had  that  leisure. 

Nicolas  knew  that  it  was  the  rarest  thing  in 
the  world  to  find  beauty  without  vanity,  charm 
without  selfishness,  a  being  so  lovable  and  yet  so 
humble  in  its  loving,  and  he  longed  passionately 
for  Joy  to  remain  what  she  was,  not  to  be  spoilt  by 
undiscriminating  praise  or  blunted  by  adoration, 
even  his  own  adoration ;  and  above  all  he  did  not 
mean  to  take  advantage  of  the  fact  that  whatever 
you  asked  of  Joy  she  gave. 

"This  is  the  Doone  Inn  above  the  valley,"  he 
said  rather  drily,  turning  Moonlighter's  head 
toward  a  rough  grass  path.  "We  'd  better  leave 
the  horses  here  and  lunch.  It 's  too  rough  a  road 
to  take  them  down  the  valley." 

The  Doone  Inn  was  a  low,  gray  house  set  four 
square  on  the  moor,  close  to  a  water-course.  A 
fringe  of  thin  trees  did  very  little  to  shelter  it  in 
the  winter  from  the  roaring  moor  winds,  and  the 
hills  above  it  shut  out  the  light  of  the  sun. 

But  in  summer  it  was  a  green  and  fragrant 
spot,  moss-covered  and  shady,  with  the  tinkling 
of  water  always  in  the  air,  and  above  it  the  shad- 
ows racing  over  the  purple  hills. 

Nicolas  lifted  Joy  off  Fidget  and  took  both 
horses  away  to  look  after  them  himself,  while 


40  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Joy  made  friends  with  the  landlady  over  a  string 
of  yellow  ducklings. 

Featherstone  and  Pennant  were  familiar  names 
to  Mrs.  Palmer.  She  gave  them  the  best  she  had 
and  spoke  to  them  in  the  high,  soft  Devon  drawl, 
affectionately  and  at  length.  It  puzzled  Joy  a 
little  because  she  spoke  as  if  they  were  older  and 
belonged  to  each  other;  but  fortunately  Nicolas, 
though  he  got  very  red,  did  n't  seem  to  mind. 

When  Mrs.  Palmer  had  left  them  to  themselves, 
they  had  bacon  and  eggs,  fruit  and  clotted  cream, 
saffron  cakes,  and  home-made  cider,  and  survived 
it.  Nicolas  told  her  all  sorts  of  interesting  things 
he  must  have  found  out  on  purpose — real  historic 
stories  of  the  Doones  and  their  dark  doings. 

"I  wish  there  were  some  of  them  left,"  Joy 
said  with  a  little  sigh  when  he  had  finished. 

"Why  do  you?"  asked  Nicolas.  '^They  had 
bad  blood  and  were  the  terror  of  the  country- 
side. Men  like  that  should  be  stamped  out. 
That 's  why  I  want  to  be  a  soldier,  because  you 
know  how  to  stamp  out  a  pest  then.  Do  you 
know,  Joy,  I  believe  you  like  people  better  when 
they're  wicked.  Do  you?  It's  most  unfair  if 
you  do." 

Joy  paused  reflectively  over  her  dancing  yellow 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  41 

cider.  Nicolas  was  good.  He  would  never  be 
anything  else  but  good.  Conscientious,  honest  as 
daylight,  and  self-controlled,  he  couldn't  have 
broken  any  law  that  he  did  n't  think  worth  break- 
ing for  a  higher  one,  and  he  had  no  pity  on  sinners 
or  on  weaklings.  He  had  never  in  his  life  said 
that  he  did  n't  mean  to  do  what  he  had  done. 

That  was  it,  perhaps:  he  had  no  pity.  Joy 
could  n't  help  liking  the  sinners  for  whom  Nicolas 
had  no  pity. 

**I  don't  think  I  like  them  because  they're 
bad,"  she  explained;  **only,  if  they're  bad,  you 
see,  it's  very  dreadful  for  them — isn't  it? — and 
cuts  them  off  everything  that's  nice.  They're 
outlaws  and  have  n't  any  real  homes,  and  people 
don't  love  them;  so  you  're  sorry  for  them,  are  n't 
you?  Sorrier  than  if  they  'd  just  been  happy  and 
good;  and  I  suppose  being  sorry,  Nicolas,  makes 
you  fonder  of  them  somehow,  does  n't  it?" 

"It  does  n't  seem  quite  fair  to  me,"  said  Nico- 
las, flushing  a  little,  "to  care  more  for  people  who 
have  made  a  hideous  mess  of  things  than  for  those 
who  have  n't" 

Joy  sighed  a  little.  She  could  n't  explain  ex- 
actly what  she  meant.  The  father  of  the  prodigal 
son  must  have   experienced  the   same   difficulty 


4a 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


when  the  righteous  home-staying  son  objected  to 
the  fatted  calf. 

"If    you  're    noble,"    she    said    consideringly, 
"you  Ve  got  everything;  and  if  you  are  n^t  noble, 


'*  *But,  Nick,  you  know  I  like  you,  awfully,  even  though  you  are  good*  " 

you  're  ashamed  and  have  n't  got  anything,  either. 
It  must  be  so  awful  to  be  ashamed." 

"Knowing  you  're  straight  is  n't  everything," 
said  Nicolas,  stubbornly;  "a  man  wants  more  than 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  43 

that."  He  sounded  somehow  as  if  he  had  been 
very  much  hurt.  Joy  stretched  her  hand  out  to 
him  and  laid  it  close  to  his  arm,  on  the  table. 

*'But,  Nick,  you  know  I  like  you,  awfully,  even 
though  you  are  good,"  she  whispered,  her  eyes 
filling  with  tears.  It  was  dreadful,  suddenly  in 
the  midst  of  cider  and  Devonshire  cream,  on  her 
birthday,  to  discover  that  Nicolas  was  unhappy 
and  that  she  had  made  him  unhappy,  though  she 
did  n't  know  why. 

Nicolas  did  not  touch  her  hand;  he  took  his 
arm  off  the  table  resolutely,  and  stuck  his  hands 
into  his  pockets,  but  not  as  if  he  wanted  to  quarrel. 

"Oh,  I  know,"  he  said  quickly — "I  know  it 's 
quite  all  right,  old  girl.  I  think  we  'd  better  be 
moving."  Only  it  took  almost  five  minutes  before 
it  was  all  right,  and  even  then  it  was  different. 

They  went  to  see  if  the  horses  were  getting  on 
well  with  their  food,  and  crossed  the  stream  by 
stepping-stones.  Nicolas  took  her  hand  now,  of 
his  own  accord,  to  help  her  over  the  stream,  but 
dropped  it  quickly  on  the  other  side. 

He  began  to  tell  her  all  about  his  school.  It 
was  a  great  compliment  to  Joy,  for  Nicolas  never 
breathed  a  word  of  his  school-life  at  home  or  to 
any  one  else.     His  life  might  have  been  cut  off 


44  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

short  as  he  shut  the  garden-gate  to  go  to  the  sta- 
tion, and  only  resumed  when  he  opened  it  on  his 
return  for  the  holidays.  It  was  very  interesting, 
of  course,  but  it  was  n't  exactly  what  Joy  wanted. 
She  would  have  liked  best  to  go  back  into  the 
child  world  and  talk  about  romance  and  Doones 
and  things  that  never  happened.  Nicolas  was 
making  her  feel  grown  up  again,  and  as  if  she 
were  riding  Fidget  high  up  over  every  one's  heads. 

She  wanted  to  be  a  child  with  a  free  conscious- 
ness, but  Nicolas  would  not  let  her  be  a  child. 
He  dragged  her  into  his  responsible  world,  where 
she  found  herself  forced  to  be  his  equal,  and  share 
his  difficulties  and  discoveries. 

He  was  the  head  of  his  house.  Prime  ministers 
may  sometimes  feel  important,  but  never  as  im- 
portant as  Nicolas.  They  cannot  believe  their 
mistakes  to  be  so  irretrievable,  or  their  efforts  so 
instinct  with  the  very  wind  of  fate.  They  are  not 
young  enough  to  be  sure  they  are  indispensable. 

Nicolas  described  his  house  master  to  Joy.  He 
was  anxious  that  she  should  make  no  mistake 
about  his  house  master,  and  not  think  he  was  silly 
about  him  or  thought  him  a  hero.  Still,  that  was 
what  he  did  think  him. 

They  both   wanted  the   same   things.     They 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  45 

wanted  a  house  they  could  be  proud  of,  not  par- 
ticularly a  "swotter's  house"  ("swotting"  was 
working  hard  at  books,  Nicolas  explained),  nor 
even  a  house  that  carried  off  all  the  school  honors 
at  games,  although  games  were  tremendously  im- 
portant; but  a  decent  house,  a  house  they  could 
depend  on,  without  a  rotten  spot. 

Nicolas  spoke  mysteriously  to  Joy  about  a  thing 
called  "tone."  Tone  was  what  they  wanted  most; 
Nicolas  had  fought  for  that  thing  called  "tone," 
fought  hard,  and  for  years  against  great  obstacles, 
and  then  they  'd  got  it.  They  really  had  got  it 
"It  was  a  decent  house,"  Nicolas  explained.  "I  'd 
have  liked  you  to  know  any  of  our  chaps,"  and 
then  suddenly  they  lost  it. 

A  fellow  with  a  great  deal  of  influence  and  pop- 
ularity, awfully  good  at  games,  did  n't  care  a  hang 
about  "tone";  he  was  no  end  of  a  slacker  and  so 
clever  they  could  n't  get  hold  of  anything  against 
him.  Yet  they  knew.  They  knew  he  was  going 
through  the  house  like  poison,  like  rat  poison, 
undermining  its  "tone,"  and  if  they  could  only  spot 
him  breaking  any  twopenny-ha'penny  rule,  the 
house  master  could  sack  him  on  the  spot,  and  then 
they  'd  be  safe  again,  and  Nicolas  could  go  off  to 
Sandhurst  with  a  quiet  mind. 


46  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

"But  he  would  n't  be  safe,"  said  Joy,  stopping 
short  in  the  precipitous  downward  path  that  looked 
over  the  Doone  Valley,  purple  and  dark  and  deep 
beneath  them,  **0  Nicolas,  think  if  he  were  ex- 
pelled, how  awful  it  would  be  for  him !" 

"It  would  n't  matter  a  curse  about  him,"  said 
Nicolas,  grimly.  "Rotters  don't  count.  It  would 
be  a  jolly  good  thing  all  round.  You  don't  un- 
derstand." 

"I  could,  if  you  explained,"  cried  Joy.  But 
Nicolas  shook  his  head;  he  either  couldn't  or 
would  n't  explain.    He  only  said  darkly: 

"Well,  I'll  find  him  out  one  of  these  days,  and 
then  we  '11  see.  I  'm  not  going  to  have  my  house 
mucked  up  because  of  him." 

Joy  tried  to  resign  herself  to  Nicolas's  right- 
eousness, backed  by  that  of  his  house  master ;  but 
her  mind  clung  obstinately  to  the  lost  sheep,  and 
left  the  ninety  and  nine  just  persons  to  shift  for 
themselves. 

"What 's  his  name,  Nicolas?"  she  asked  aloud. 
She  remembered  that  Lord  Tennyson  had  re- 
marked, "More  things  are  wrought  by  prayer  than 
this  world  dreams  of,"  and  it  occurred  to  her  that 
the  salvation  of  this  unfortunately  black  sheep 
might  be  one  of  them. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


47 


Nicolas  would  not  like  her  to  pray  for  him,  but 
if  she  knew  his  name,  she  could  pray  for  him 
without  Nicolas  being  put  to  the  trouble  of  know- 
ing anything  about  it. 

But  Nicolas  said  abruptly: 


"Its  precipitous  sides  leaned  over  them  dark  and  formidable" 


48  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

"Oh,  I  couldn't  tell  you  his  name,  of  course; 
that  would  be  giving  him  away.'* 

"But  I  shall  never  meet  him,"  Joy  explained. 

"You  might,"  replied  Nicolas,  and  he  added 
under  his  breath,  "but  I  hope  to  God  you  never 
will!" 

They  stood  now  in  the  wildest  part  of  the 
Doone  Valley;  its  precipitous  sides  leaned  over 
them  dark  and  formidable  even  on  a  summer's 
day. 

Joy  pictured  to  herself  the  frozen  winter  and 
John  Ridd  flying  over  the  mountains  on  his  skees 
to  rescue  Lorna,  starved  and  freezing  in  the  valley. 
John  Ridd  was  enormously  big  and  strong  and 
very  kind  except,  of  course,  to  Doones.  It  seemed 
as  if  very  strong  men  had  to  be  unkind  to  some- 
body. Joy  sank  down  upon  a  patch  of  heather 
and  did  not  want  to  talk  or  think  of  any  one  but 
Doones. 

Nicolas  lay  at  her  feet,  turning  a  little  swath  of 
grass  into  a  ring.    He  had  very  neat,  quick  fingers. 

"Look  here,"  he  said  after  a  long  pause,  "will 
you  promise  me  something,  Joy?" 

"Anything?"  asked  Joy. 

"Well,  I  could  hardly  ask  you  that,"  said  Nico- 
las in  a  low  voice,  his  eyes  bent  on  the  ring.    "That 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  49 

would  n't  be  fair,  would  it,  to  make  you  promise 
in  the  dark  ?  I  '11  tell  you  what  it  is  first.  You 
won't  mind  my  asking  you,  will  you?" 

He  spoke  with  unaccustomed  diffidence,  which 
made  Joy  feel  as  if  she  were  nearly  a  hundred 
years  old. 

''No,"  she  said,  wondering  what  it  could  pos- 
sibly be.  "I  don't  think  you  would  ask  me  what 
I  'd  mind,  Nick." 

He  drew  a  quick  breath  before  he  spoke,  as  if 
what  she  said  had  either  pleased  him  very  much 
or  hurt  him  very  much,  she  was  n't  quite  sure 
which. 

"Then,"  he  said,  flushing  deeply,  and  keeping 
his  eyes  still  carefully  turned  away  from  her  face, 
'*if  I  'm  not  to  kiss  you  again,  will  you  promise 
me  that  you  won't  let  any  one  else  kiss  you?" 

It  was  such  a  curious  question  that  Joy  kept 
quite  still  for  a  moment,  thinking  it  over.  It  was 
very  odd  that  on  her  fourteenth  birthday  kisses 
should  assume  so  tremendous  an  importance. 

"Do  you  mean  never  in  the  world?"  she  asked 
anxiously. 

Nicolas  smiled  a  little,  a  very  tender  smile  that 
made  him  look  gentler  than  she  had  ever  seen  him 
look,  except  when  he  was  playing  with  Rosemary. 


50  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

"I  should  like  that,  I  'm  afraid,"  he  said;  **but 
I  'm  not  going  to  ask  it.  What  I  want  to  ask  is, 
that  you  won't  let  any  one  else  till  I  get  back  from 
India.  If  I  have  any  luck,  I  '11  pass  for  Sand- 
hurst this  summer,  spend  a  year  there,  and  three 
in  India.  That  will  be  four  years,  Joy.  Could 
you,  do  you  think,  promise  for  four  years?" 

''You  don't  mean  uncles  or  the  boys,  do  you?'" 
Joy  asked  conscientiously.  Mother  had  said  she 
was  to  kiss  the  boys ;  but  Nicolas  might  be  more 
particular  even  than  mother. 

*'No,  I  don't  mind  relations,"  said  Nicolas, 
with  the  little  smile  again,  "only  no  one  else. 
Promise?" 

''I  promise,"  said  Joy,  quietly. 

Then  Nicolas  looked  at  her.  It  was  a  long, 
tender,  searching  look,  scrupulously  unpassionate, 
as  if  he  were  taking  her  face  into  his  heart  and 
keeping  it  there  forever. 

The  curious  part  of  it  was  that  though  he  looked 
away  and  began  talking  of  nothing  in  particular 
directly  afterward,  it  seemed  to  Joy  that  no  mat- 
ter how  hard  she  tried  after  that,  she  couldn't 
feel  quite  like  a  little  girl  again. 

Nicolas  had  dropped  the  grass  ring  he  was 
making,  near  her  on  the  ground,  and  though  Joy 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  51 

looked  at  it  and  saw  that  it  was  finished,  she  did 
not  pick  it  up;  and  as  for  Nicolas,  although  he 
had  taken  such  pains  with  it,  he  seemed  to  have 
forgotten  all  about  it. 

They  went  all  over  the  valley,  and  found  traces 
of  old  and  crumbled  houses.  Nicolas  remembered 
fresh  and  awful  tales  of  robbers  and  revenges  till 
it  was  time  to  go  home.  They  talked  a  great  deal 
about  Lorna  Doone,  but  Nicolas  said  that  he  pre- 
ferred fair  heroines  himself,  and  that  in  general 
he  thought  all  the  girls  in  books  were  beasts. 

They  found  the  horses  fresh  and  ready  for  a 
start,  and  Mrs.  Palmer  gave  them  the  heartiest 
farewell,  and  wished  them  unitedly  a  long  life  and 
a  future  like  a  summer's  day,  and  Nicolas  shook 
hands  with  her  and  thanked  her. 

Then  they  rode  off  till  they  came  to  the  turf, 
and  galloped  a  splendi4j  breathless  gallop  again. 
Only  Joy  did  n't  like  it  so  much  as  she  had  in  the 
morning;  it  seemed  somehow  less  visionary  and 
more  as  if  they  belonged  to  the  earth. 

They  arrived  home  exactly  at  five  o'clock.  Joy 
had  never  had  to  think  of  the  time  at  all;  she  knew 
Nicolas  would  remember. 

All  the  other  Pennants  were  there,  with  Julia, 
whom  Joy  adored.    Julia  was  seventeen  and  really 


52  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

grown  up,  but  she  could  run  like  a  hare  and  had 
no  nonsense  about  her,  though  she  was  said  to  be 
the  prettiest  girl  in  Devon. 

Ajax  had  behaved  extremely  well,  and  knew  her 
again,  or  appeared  to,  when  Joy  knelt  befare  him 
on  the  floor. 

Rosemary  flung  her  arms  round  Joy's  neck  and 
half  strangled  her  with  welcome. 

There  was  a  huge  birthday  cake,  with  fourteen 
ridiculous  pink  candles  on  it,  and  Nicolas  put  one 
in  his  pocket,  because  he  said  you  never  knew 
when  a  candle  would  n't  come  in  handy. 

It  was  a  most  successful  tea  party,  and  even 
after  the  Pennants  had  gone  home  the  birthday 
was  n't  over. 

Joy  was  to  go  down  to  dinner  for  the  first  time. 
It  was  ten  o'clock  before  she  went  to  bed.  Maude 
was  already  asleep. 

Joy  had  asked  if  Maude  might  n't  come  down 
to  dinner,  too,  and  when  mother  had  said  "Yes," 
and  even  father  had  agreed  that  she  might  if  it 
was  understood  that  it  wasn't  to  start  a  prece- 
dent, Maude  said  she  would  n't  come  down,  after 
all.  However,  she  agreed  to  eat  Joy's  dessert  if 
it  was  brought  up  to  her  afterward;  and  she  had 
eaten  it 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


53 


Mrs.  Featherstone  came  in  when  Joy  was  in 
bed,  and  the  candle  out.  A  big  full  moon  like  a 
silver  lamp  was  climbing  above  the  Rock  and  pour- 
ing light  over  the  little  bare  room. 

*Tou're  a  happy  girl?"   Mrs.   Featherstone 


**She  sat  on  the  edge  of  Joy*s  bed" 

asked  as  she  bent  over  Joy.  She  did  not  usually 
ask  such  intimate  personal  questions. 

"Yes,"  said  Joy;  **only.  Mummy,  I  don't  feel 
exactly  the  way  I  did." 

**Don't  you,  darling?"  asked  Mrs.  Feather- 
stone. She  sat  on  the  edge  of  Joy's  bed  as  if  this 
was  rather  important.  "What  has  made  you  feel 
different?" 


S4  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

**I  don't  know,"  said  Joy.  'T'raps  it  was  din- 
ner down-stairs  and  being  fourteen;  p'raps — " 
Joy  paused.  It  suddenly  occurred  to  her  that  per- 
haps it  was  not  kissing  Nicolas,  and  the  curious 
part  of  it  was  that  she  found  she  did  n't  want  to 
say  anything  more  about  Nicoli^s,  even  to  her 
mother.  She  found  herself  saying  instead  some- 
thing quite  different. 

"And,  Mummy,  p'raps,"  she  said,  "I  really  am 
old  enough  to  be  confirmed  now." 


IV 


FOUR  years  pass  quickly  to  country  people  in 
a  country  place.  A  storm,  a  drought,  a  ship- 
wreck, or  a  drunken  blunder,  assuming  the  impor- 
tance of  crime,  stands  out  with  a  vividness  un- 
known to  places  where  the  traffic  is  great  and  the 
landmarks  few. 

Joy  turned  from  childhood  to  womanhood  with 
no  outward  event  to  crystallize  her  consciousness. 
Her  dresses  became  a  little  longer,  and  one  day 
when  she  put  her  hair  up  for  fun,  twisting  it  into 
two  thick  plaits  around  her  head,  her  mother 
suggested  that  she  should  keep  it  up.  Lessons 
dwindled  into  classes,  but  there  was  never  any 
lack  of  things  for  Joy  to  do.  The  boys  came  home 
for  holidays,  the  horses  and  dogs  had  to  be  ex- 
ercised daily,  her  mother  liked  occasional  help  in 
the  house,  and  there  was  always  the  village. 

Rock  Lodge  did  not  *'run  the  village,"  because 

the  village  would  never  have  dreamed  of  running; 

it  moved,  if  it  moved  at  all,  with  a  quiet  gait  pe- 

'55 


S6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

culiarly  its  own,  and  Rock  Lodge  moved  beside 
it,  and  helped  backward  persons  over  stiles. 

Maude  sometimes  complained  that  they  had  no 
neighborhood ;  she  needed  more  tennis  in  the  sum- 
mer and  more  dancing  in  the  winter.  But,  then, 
Maude  had  a  naturally  indolent  nature ;  she  wished 
to  do  what  there  was  not,  because  she  did  not  wish 
to  do  what  there  was.  She  had  to  be  taken  out 
of  herself  by  the  strenuous  efforts  of  others,  and 
never  found  her  time  filled  to  the  brim  by  any 
such  altruistic  intentions  in  herself. 

There  was  only  one  employment  to  which 
Maude  would  willingly  have  applied  both  her  time 
and  her  strength ;  she  could  have  entertained  young 
men.  But  there  were  very  few  men  of  the  neces- 
sary tjTpc  to  be  found  in  Lynton,  and  when  Joy 
was  there,  they  seemed  to  wish  their  entertain- 
ment to  come  from  her.  Maude  was  perfectly 
loyal  to  Joy,  and  she  knew  that  her  sister  did  not 
purposely  attract  young  men ;  on  the  contrary,  Joy 
preferred  Rosemary  and  the  moors. 

But  men  seldom  study  the  preferences  of 
women ;  they  study  their  own.  ^'If  only  Joy  would 
marry  young,  like  Margaret,"  Maude  thought  to 
herself,  * 'sensibly  and  go  away,  I  should  have 
heaps  of  fun;  but  I  suppose  she's  waiting  till  Nico- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  57 

las  comes  back."  And  Maude  sighed.  She  her- 
self would  have  liked  to  wait  till  Nicolas  came 
back. 

But  Joy  was  n't  waiting  for  Nicolas.  She  would 
be  glad  when  he  came  back,  and  she  knew  that  he 
belonged  to  her ;  but  she  had  never  felt  in  any  sense 
that  she  belonged  to  him.  What  did  not  belong 
to  her  mother  and  to  Rosemary  belonged  to  her* 
A  great  deal  of  Joy  belonged  to  Rosemary  be- 
cause Rosemary  needed  Joy's  love. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  had  a  curious  coldness  of 
feeling  toward  her  youngest  child.  She  would  n't 
have  owned  that  she  did  n't  love  Rosemary  as  well 
as  any  of  the  others,  but  she  was  accustomed  to 
sound,  strong  children,  rosy  and  solid,  with 
straight  backs  and  beautiful,  sturdy  limbs.  This 
flabby  little  creature,  who  cried  much  of  its  time 
and  betrayed  a  despicable  tendency  to  rickets,  ir- 
ritated her  pride. 

Rosemary  had  n't  steady  nerves,  and  when  she 
grew  older,  she  didn't  stop  crying.  She  was 
pretty  in  a  frail  and  fluctuating  way,  but  she  did  n't 
eat  quantities  of  bread  and  butter  and  look  one 
straight  between  the  eyes.  Nothing  could  induce 
her  to  ride,  even  the  mildest  and  broadest  of  Ex- 
moor  ponies.     She  screamed  so  shrilly  and  vio- 


58  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

lently  that  she  had  to  be  removed  from  its  back. 
She  was  punished,  of  course  (to  Mrs.  Feather- 
stone  there  was  something  indecent  in  the  idea  that 
any  child  of  hers  should  not  be  able  to  ride),  but 
though  Rosemary  shrank  under  the  punishment, 
she  repeated  the  offense.  It  was  very  dreadful  to 
be  conquered  by  the  screams  of  a  naughty  child, 
but  riding  had  to  be  given  up. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  often  had  to  give  up  mak- 
ing Rosemary  do  what  she  would  have  made  any 
of  the  other  children  do,  not  because  the  child's 
will  was  strong,  but  because  it  was  so  weak  that 
it  broke  in  the  effort  to  obey.  Mrs.  Featherstone 
was  neither  cruel  nor  tyrannical,  but  she  was  not 
adaptable,  and  when  she  found  that  her  ordinarily 
successful  methods  of  bringing  children  up  failed 
with  Rosemary,  she  half  unconsciously  avoided 
her,  and  more  and  more  handed  the  child  over  to 

Joy- 
Joy  could  manage  Rosemary.  Tears  stopped, 
and  a  thousand  pretty  graces,  hidden  by  fright, 
came  out  in  Rosemary  when  she  was  left  to  Joy. 
Joy  taught  her,  and  she  learned  swiftly;  played 
with  her,  and  she  grew  braver  over  her  play; 
loved  her,  and  in  return  received  the  child's  pas- 
sionate adoration. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


59i 


But  not  even  Joy  could  supply  Rosemary  with 
the  armor  necessary  against  the  clumsiness  of  life. 
She  was  too  sensitive,  too  intense  a  child.  The 
flame  of  her  little  spirit  shot  up  beyond  the  power 
of  her  frail  outer  being  to  control  it.    Fear  tor- 


•  ••• ' " f'^rj(^.,jnd<'  { ''7,ftVC^:rrj?>r^^  / 

"But  Rosemary  did  recover   from  the  measles" 

mented  and  devoured  her ;  even  love  was  as  sharp 
to  her  as  the  edge  of  a  knife.  Pleasure  brought 
tears  of  troubled  ecstasy  to  her  eyes,  and  pain  de- 
moralized her. 

There  was  no  padding  between  her  raw  nerves 
and  a  family  which  Mrs.  Featherstone  had 
brought  up  on  the  simple  principles  that  they 
were  never  to  make  a  fuss  and  never  to  tell  a  lie. 


6o  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Mercifully,  there  had  always  been  Patch,  who 
took  a  less  definite  view  of  morality,  and  Joy, 
who  never  seemed  to  find  morality  get  in  her  way 
at  all. 

Joy  never  remembered  when  it  was  that  she 
first  felt  anxious  about  Rosemary's  health.  Rose- 
mary took  longer,  Mrs.  Featherstone  asserted, 
than  she  ought  over  the  measles,  and  Patch  ex- 
plained to  Joy  afterward  that  if  Mrs.  Feather- 
stone  had  n't  said  one  could  n't  be  very  ill  with 
measlesj  she  would  have  thought  Miss  Rosemary 
\ras  very  ill.  But  Rosemary  did  recover  from 
the  measles,  to  pass  a  weak  and  querulous  sum- 
mer; it  was  only  when  the  winter  came  again  that 
Joy  wondered  how  many  colds  it  was  perfectly 
natural  for  a  little  girl  to  have,  and  when  she 
speculated  out  loud,  not  to  her  mother,  but  to 
Patch,  she  discovered  with  an  access  of  alarm 
that  Patch  was  anxious,  too. 

Patch  was  sewing  in  the  nursery  when  Joy 
opened  the  question.  There  was  still  a  nursery, 
though  Rosemary  was  nine  years  old.  Institu- 
tions like  nurseries  lingered  on  in  Rock  Lodge, 
slipping  gradually  from  one  use  to  another.  Patch 
would  always  be  there  and  she  would  always 
be  called  *'Nurse,"  even  though  she  had  no  nurs- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  6i 

ling  left,  and  acted  as  the  family  sewing  maid. 
When  Joy  said,  *'Nurse,  I  think  Rosemary  is 
getting  very  thin,"  Nurse  did  not  say,  '^Chickens 
is  thin  when  they  lose  their  fluff,"  as  Joy  had  half 
expected ;  she  bit  violently  at  her  cotton  and  said 
thoughtfully,  **Her  IVV  clothes  du  hang  round  her 
sure-lye." 


"Patch  was  sewing  in  the  nursery  when  Joy  opened  the  question' 


'Tes,"  agreed  Joy,  reluctantly,  ''and  she  says 
she  has  pains  all  over  her,  and  gets  so  flushed  in 
the  evenings.  You  don't  think  there  's  anything 
really  wrong ,  do  you,  Nannie?" 

Patch  looked  at  her  with  troubled  eyes. 

''I  don't  like  it.  Miss  Joy  dear,"  she  said  at  last. 
"It 's  been  on  the  tip  of  my  tongue  to  tell  'ee  that 


62  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

times  without  number,  but  my  'eart  failed  me. 
The  child  eats  less  nor  a  bird,  and  at  night  I  du 
hear  her  cry  out  in  her  sleep,  and  there  's  times 
when,  late  as  the  night  may  be,  the  child  is  n't 
asleep." 

Joy  rose  with  a  quick  movement  of  her  shoul- 
ders. 

"Something  must  be  done  about  it,  then,  at 
once,"  she  said  with  the  relief  of  youth  in  action. 
"I  shall  get  Dr.  Armstrong  to  see  her." 

Patch  did  not  share  her  quick  relief. 

"It  might  be  well,  could  'ee  get  mistress  to  do 
that,"  she  agreed,  but  she  sighed  when  Joy  ran 
out  of  the  room  on  her  errand.  She  was  an  old 
woman,  and  she  knew  that  you  cannot  stop  every- 
thing, no  matter  how  quickly  you  run  to  do  it. 

There  is  a  natural  antagonism  in  the  sanest 
hearts  against  the  portents  of  disaster.  They  will 
admit  that  accidents  happen,  but  they  will  not  go 
out  to  meet  them.  Mrs.  Featherstone  resisted 
Joy's  anxiety  with  something  very  like  anger.  She 
did  not  love  Rosemary  enough  to  notice  that  she 
was  thinner,  but  she  loved  Joy  enough  to  see  that 
Joy  noticed  it  and  could  not  stop  noticing  it. 

Joy  pressed  the  need  of  advice  upon  her  mother 
with  an  unfaltering  persistence ;  she  followed  her 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  631 

about  like  a  dog  from  the  harness-room  to  the 
pantry.  Mrs.  Featherstone  listened  to  her  with 
compressed  lips  and  quiet  disapproval.  At  last, 
rather  surprisingly  to  Joy,  she  yielded. 

"You  may  do  as  you  wish,"  she  said,  "and  send 
for  Dr.  Armstrong.  I  think  you  are  mistaken, 
but,  after  all,  if  you  are  not,  my  mistake  would 
be  the  worst  disaster  of  the  two.  Remember, 
though,  that  if  Dr.  Armstrong  agrees  with  me, 
there  must  be  no  more  fussing.  It  is  very  silly  and 
bad  taste  to  think  so  much  about  health*  When 
I  was  young,  if  I  said  that  I  was  ill,  I  was  told 
that  I  might  go  to  bed  if  I  liked,  but  that  I  should 
be  given  nothing  to  eat  until  I  got  up  and  came 
down-stairs.     I  always  recovered  promptly." 

At  first  Dr.  Armstrong  seemed  to  share  Mrs. 
Featherstone's  light  diagnosis ;  he  could  n't  find 
anything  wrong  with  the  child.  But  though  he 
said  this  at  once  and  sent  Rosemary  out  into  the 
garden  to  play,  he  asked  Patch  a  great  many  ques- 
tions. Joy  and  Patch  were  alone  with  him,  for 
Mrs.  Featherstone  had  remarked  that  she  was 
not  going  to  have  anything  to  do  with  so  silly  a 
business.  When  Patch  had  told  him  all  she  could, 
he  met  Joy's  anxious  eyes  consideringly.  "No," 
he  said  gravely,  "I  can't  honestly  say  that  I  am 


64  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

satisfied  about  the  child.  I  don't  know  that  any- 
thing is  the  matter,  but  I  suspect  it.  Children 
have  tricky  constitutions.  I  'd  be  better  pleased  if 
your  parents  would  let  some  big  man  come  down 
from  Exeter  and  take  a  look  at  her.  There  's 
Eames,  a  first-rate  fellow  and  a  children's  special- 
ist.    I  should  like  Eames  to  see  her." 

It  took  a  load  off  Joy's  mind  to  know  that  there 
was  Eames.  Dr.  Armstrong  was  good;  he  had 
brought  them  all  into  the  world  and  was  to  be  de- 
pended on  for  their  brief  and  easy  ailments :  but 
Joy  had  already  gone  so  far  along  the  road  of  sus- 
pense as  to  admit  to  herself  that  Rosemary's 
trouble  was  not  likely  to  be  brief  or  easy. 

Joy  found  her  mother  more  inclined  to  accept 
the  need  of  a  second  opinion  than  Mr.  Feather- 
stone.  Mr.  Featherstone  said  that  he  was  sur- 
prised and  shocked  with  Joy  for  making  such  a 
suggestion.  Modern  life  was  perfectly  lawless; 
it  had  become  like  a  jungle.  It  was  not  probable 
that  Mr.  Featherstone  was  intimately  acquainted 
with  jungles,  as  he  had  lived  his  entire  life  in 
Devonshire,  which  is  not  a  close  parallel  to  the 
tropics;  but  "jungle"  has  an  unhallowed  sound, 
and  Joy's  urgency  appeared  to  her  father  to  tam- 
per with  his  prerogative  as  a  parent.     If  there 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  65 

was  to  be  any  anxiety,  it  should  be  his;  and  he 
was  not  yet  anxious. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  answered  him  with  her 
usual  studied  patience. 

**We  had  better  see  this  thing  through  now,'*' 
she  said.  "One  swallow  does  not  make  a  summer, 
nor  need  two  doctors  imply  a  serious  disease. 
Pray  let  us  drop  the  subject  until  there  is  some- 
thing definite  to  be  faced." 

It  comforted  Joy  to  hear  her  mother  dismiss 
anxiety.  Her  mother  was  so  often  right,  and  so 
long  as  all  the  safe  things  were  going  to  be  done, 
it  was  reassuring  to  be  told  that  they  were  not 
necessary. 

Dr.  Eames  arrived  on  a  cold,  gray  day.  The 
light  from  the  sea  was  pale  and  fixed.  There  was 
neither  movement  nor  promise  in  the  still  and  bit- 
ter air;  the  kind  and  fruitful  earth  was  held  life- 
less and  as  hard  as  stone  in  the  grip  of  frost. 

The  two  doctors  found  Joy  playing  dolls  with 
Rosemary  before  the  nursery  fire.  Dr.  Eames 
was  clever  with  children,  and  understood  the  way 
to  handle  dolls.  Joy's  heart  beat  up  in  her  throat 
while  this  formidable  man  went  on  his  knees  be- 
side the  dolls'  house  and  made  suggestions  about 
real  coal  being  put  in  the  dolls'  fireplace. 


66 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


Suddenly  she  understood  that  there  were  dread- 
ful things  which  might  happen,  even  if  all  the 
proper  things  were  done  at  the  proper  times.  But 
she  kept  her  eyes  unafraid  and  her  hands  from 


^^. 


"Dr.  Eames  stethoscoped  first  the  dolls  and  then  Rosemary" 

trembling.  She  entered  with  apparent  light- 
heartedness  into  the  game  of  a  child's  hospital, 
where  Dr.  Eames  stethoscoped  first  the  dolls  and 
then  Rosemary,  to  keep  them,  as  he  explained, 
up  to  the  mark. 

Dr.  Armstrong  stood  over  by  the  fireplace  tap- 
ping the  frost  flowers  on  the  glass.  He  had  been 
a  great  deal  in  that  nursery  and  he  had  a  nursery 
of  his  own. 

Rosemary  looked  several  times  at  Joy  to  see  if 
she  could  n't  be  frightened,  but  Joy  had  such  quiet, 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  67 

smiling  eyes,  and  so  evidently  thought  that  they 
were  having  great  fun,  that  Rosemary  decided 
that  nobody  could  be  going  to  hurt  her;  and 
neither  of  the  doctors  did  hurt  her.  Dr.  Eames 
made  her  a  red  flower  and  a  flower-pot  out  of 
some  colored  paper  he  found  on  the  floor,  and 
then  went  away  into  another  room  and  didn't 
come  back  again,  and  Joy  went  on  playing  with 
her  till  Patch  came  up  from  her  tea.  Then  she 
kissed  the  top  of  Rosemary's  head  rather  hur- 
riedly and  ran  down-stairs. 

But  when  Joy  was  outside  the  dining-room  door, 
where  the  doctors  were,  she  pulled  herself  up 
short,  as  if  she  were  driving  in  a  narrow  lane  and 
had  met  something  so  large  that  there  was  not 
any  room  for  her  to  pass  it.  Then  she  dragged 
herself  into  the  dining-room. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Featherstone  were  with  the  doc- 
tors. Mrs.  Featherstone  sat  in  an  arm-chair,  but 
she  was  not  leaning  back ;  she  sat  very  erect,  and 
looked  just  as  usual.  Mr.  Featherstone  was  lean- 
ing forward  over  the  table,  with  his  head  buried 
in  his  hands.  Dr.  Eames  stood  in  front  of  the 
fire,  with  his  hands  behind  him,  and  Dr.  Arm- 
strong had  gone  back  to  the  window  again  as  if 
to  see  how  the  frost  looked  from  down-stairs. 


68  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Joy  found  that  her  lips  had  grown  difficult  to 
move ;  they  did  n't  tremble,  but  they  seemed  heavy, 
and  she  said,  "What  is  it?"  in  a  curious  voice, 
and  without  realizing  that  it  was  too  short  a  sen- 
tence to  sound  quite  polite. 

Dr.  Eames  looked  sharply  from  her  to  her 
mother,  and  Mrs.  Featherstone  said: 

"Yes,  you  may  as  well  tell  her.  She  's  old 
enough  to  know  and  she  has  always  taken  care  of 
the  child." 

"I  am  not  perfectly  certain  what  is  the  matter 
with  your  sister,"  said  Dr.  Eames,  "but  I  am  in- 
clined to  think,  and  Armstrong  here  agrees  with 
me,  that  she  has  a  very  obscure  and  rare  disease. 
I  need  not  bother  you  with  its  name,  but  it  is 

not "     He  paused  a  moment  to  choose  his 

words,  but  Mrs.  Featherstone  chose  them  for  him. 

"It  is  not  curable,"  she  said  firmly. 

"Do  you  mean  that  she  is  going  to  die?"  asked 
Joy.  She  felt  as  if  her  body  was  a  wire  string  of 
a  violin,  so  tightly  strung  that  at  a  touch  it  would 
break;  but  she  held  her  head  up  as  her  mother  had 
always  told  her  to  do,  and  looked  Dr.  Eames 
straight  in  the  face. 

For  a  long  moment  no  one  spoke,  but  she  saw 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  69 

her  father's  shoulders  heave.  Then  Dr.  Eamcs 
said  gently: 

"I  'm  afraid  it 's  not  a  recoverable  disease. 
Armstrong  will  tell  you  all  about  it  later.  He 
knows  the  best  treatment,  and  will  carry  it  out  for 
you.  Nothing  need  be  done  to  alarm  the  child. 
The  best  plan  is  to  let  her  go  on  as  long  as  pos- 
sible as  she  is,  not  pressing  her  in  any  way." 

"Will  she  suffer  dreadfully?"  asked  Joy.  Her 
heart  was  so  exposed  to  pain  that  it  demanded  to 
know  where  it  could  safely  rest,  lest  some  deceit- 
ful mercy  should  lull  it  into  false  security,  and 
pain,  returning,  destroy  her  unaware. 

"I  am  afraid  there  will  be  suffering,"  said  Dr. 
Eames  after  a  pause,  "but  Armstrong  will  give 
her  morphia  when — she  needs  it." 

"What  is  going  to  happen  to  her?"  Joy  asked 
desperately,  looking  from  one  to  the  other  as  if 
there  must  be  some  way  of  escape. 

"Need  we  know  any  more?"  Mrs.  Featherstone 
asked  quietly.  "These  details  seem  to  me  un- 
necessary. Dr.  Eames  has  not  even  said  that  he 
is  sure  the  disease  has  attacked  the  child.  May 
we  not  all  be  conjuring  up  imaginary  horrors?" 

Neither  of  the  two  doctors  answered  this  ap- 
peal.   Joy  looked  at  her  mother.    Her  heart  was 


70  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

divided  against  itself;  she  wanted  intensely  to 
spare  that  inflexible  figure  any  further  pain.  She 
was  not  deceived  by  Mrs.  Featherstone's  flawless 
self-control.  She  knew  that  her  mother  suffered 
as  the  unimaginative  suffer,  unpreventably  and 
without  the  power  to  dodge  a  blow.  But  Rose- 
mary, pitiful  and  small,  caught  at  her  heart  for 
defense.  Unless  Joy  knew  exactly  what  the  evil 
was,  how  could  she  spare  Rosemary  what  might 
yet  be  spared  her?  She  did  not  press  her  point 
any  further,  but  her  eyes  went  on  with  their  re- 
lentless questions.  Mrs.  Featherstone  gave  a  lit- 
tle gesture  of  defeat. 

"Tell  her,"  she  said  gently.  "After  all,  she  has 
a  right  to  know;  she  will  nurse  the  child." 

"There  won't  be  any  difficulty  about  that,"  Dr. 
Eames  said  in  a  soothing  voice.  "It  is  not  an  in- 
fectious disease.  In  a  household  like  yours  it  is 
virtually  unknown;  even  in  the  hospitals  it  is  ex- 
tremely rare.  I  have  only  known  two  such  cases 
in  my  whole  career.  It  is  one  of  the  wasting  dis- 
eases. Miss  Featherstone,  and  in  its  later  stages 
the  bones  pierce  the  skin.  Death  comes  from  ex- 
haustion." 

Mr.  Featherstone  said,  "My  God!  my  God  I" 
into  his  handkerchief.    Nobody  else  said  anything. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  71 

Mrs.  Featherstone  sat  without  stirring,  meeting 
Joy's  eyes.  They  were  terrible  to  meet,  because 
they  seemed  to  be  accusing  her ;  but  Mrs.  Feather- 
stone  knew  that  they  were  not  accusing  her :  they 
were  accusing  a  universe  which  can  hold  such 
secrets. 

After  a  moment's  intolerable  silence  Mrs. 
Featherstone  motioned  for  Joy  to  ring  for  tea 
and  began  to  speak  with  perfect  composure  upon 
impersonal  subjects.  The  doctors  responded  to 
her  with  visible  relief,  and  Joy  found  that  it  was 
a  help  to  make  these  two  men  less  uncomfortable. 
Doctors  do  not  like  giving  death-sentences.  The 
deeper  agony  of  her  parents  was  a  thing  she  could 
deal  with  presently;  it  would  last  long  enough. 
Only  Mr.  Featherstone  refused  to  be  deflected 
from  his  grief.  He  drank  two  cups  of  tea  with- 
out a  protest,  but  left  the  room  abruptly  when 
his  wife  handed  him  a  buttered  mufiin.  A  wall 
was  built  up  between  them  and  their  agony. 

The  doctors  stayed  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour 
and  went  off  cheerful  and  absolved.  Joy  and 
her  mother  were  left  face  to  face.  Mrs.  Feather- 
stone longed  to  take  Joy  in  her  arms  and  comfort 
her,  but  she  dared  not  move.  Deep  in  her  truth- 
ful heart  she  knew  that  though  she  felt  bitter 


72 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


remorse,  she  had  no  greater  love  for  the  little 
threatened  life,  and  nothing  but  a  love  as  great 
as  her  own  would  comfort  Joy. 

But  Joy  was  not  thinking  of  her  comfort;  she 
had  not  yet  noticed  her  own  pain.  She  saw  her 
mother's,  and  Rosemary's  was  in  her  heart.   She 


"She  dropped  on  her  knees" 

dropped  on  her  knees,  and  with  her  arms  around 
her  mother  she  did  the  thing  which  she  felt  in- 
stinctively would  help  her  most:  she  cried  very 
softly,  with  her  head  against  her  mother's  breast. 
They  had  this  consolation :  they  were  free  together 
now  in  the  center  of  their  grief,  and  they  knew 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  73 

that  they  would  neither  leave  it  nor  each  other 
until  the  end 

The  life  in  Rock  Lodge  went  on  as  usual.  Mr. 
Featherstone  had  a  grief,  which  was  at  first  painful 
and  then  became  a  luxury.  Sorrow  added  to  his 
importance  and  relieved  him  from  a  feeling  he 
sometimes  had,  of  having  a  grievance  without 
sufScient  form  to  attract  sympathetic  attention. 

Maude  cried  violently  for  half  an  hour,  and 
then  kept  away  from  Rosemary  as  much  as  pos- 
sible. The  boys  were  written  to,  and  felt  the 
sharp  and  easily  driven-under  sympathy  of  boys; 
and  Patch  and  Joy  settled  into  the  habit  of  con- 
tinuous nursing. 

The  disease  was  quick  and  relentless.  There 
were  a  few  soft  February  days  when  Rosemary 
fluttered  feebly  on  the  cliff's-edge  with  Joy,  and 
found  the  first  snowdrops  under  the  shadow  of  the 
rocks;  but  when  the  March  winds  roared  and  the 
daffodils  showed  their  gold  hoods  in  sunny  corners, 
Rosemary  never  left  her  bed  in  the  night  nursery. 
Patch  slept  beside  her  at  night,  and  Joy  was  with 
her  nearly  all  the  long,  bright  days. 

Pain  came  with  the  spring  and  the  sunshine.  It 
was  not  a  bearable  pain;  it  came  swiftly  and  over- 
whelmingly, blotting  out  the  sunlight,  making  life 


74  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

ugly,  and  even  love,  though  it  was  the  one  thing 
left  worth  having,  sometimes  a  burden.  There 
was  neither  interval  nor  horizon  in  her  illness ;  and 
there  seemed,  above  all,  no  mercy. 

Joy's  young  and  lovely  face  grew  stern  and 
colorless  as  she  fought  this  strange  enemy.  She 
fought  it  desperately  hour  by  hour  with  all  the 
weapons  of  her  young  armory,  courage  and  swift- 
ness, patience  and  steadiness,  the  wings  of  imagi- 
nation, and  the  unflinching  sympathy  of  her  single 
heart. 

Dr.  Armstrong  came  daily  and  gave  her  all 
the  help  he  had.  Occasionally,  he  suggested  half- 
heartedly sending  to  Exeter  for  a  trained  nurse. 
But  trained  nurses  were  not  common  in  the  coun- 
try-side, and  he  knew  the  child  would  have  hated 
any  substitute  for  her  sister. 

Joy  never  for  a  moment  listened  to  any  such 
idea.  She  loved  the  child;  the  child  was  there- 
fore hers,  and  every  hour  and  all  her  strength 
were  Rosemary's.  Very  few  people  really  bear 
other  people's  pain;  they  do  not  come  within  an 
instant's  pang  of  it:  but  the  few  who  do,  bear 
more;  they  bear  all  the  sufferer's  pain  and  none 
of  his  alleviations.  With  unduUed  senses  and 
sharpened  nerves  they  drink  the  dregs  of  the  cup; 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  75 

and  there  is  not  one  of  them  who  drink  it  who 
does  not  pray  that  the  cup  may  pass,  and  who  does 
not  know  that  it  will  not  pass  until  it  has  been 
emptied. 

Joy  could  not  think  of  other  things.  Sometimes 
her  mother  forced  her  to  go  out.  They  told  her 
Nicolas  was  coming  back  on  leave,  and  they  even 
wanted  her  to  go  with  Maude  to  a  garden  party; 
but  she  only  looked  at  them  with  eyes  which  hardly 
noticed  they  were  there. 

Nobody  was  real  to  Joy  except  Dr.  Armstrong, 
Patch,  and  Rosemary;  not  even  the  dogs.  She 
went  for  one  hour's  walk  daily  over  the  moors 
with  Ajax  trailing  faithfully  beside  her,  but  she 
never  saw  him  at  other  times. 

Rosemary  was  frightened  if  the  dogs  came  into 
the  room ;  they  might  knock  against  the  bed,  and 
when  any  one  touched  the  bed  it  made  her  scream 
with  pain. 

Sometimes  she  screamed  even  when  she  had 
not  been  touched.  Her  screams  rang  in  Joy's 
ears  long  after  they  had  stopped.  She  used  to 
hear  them  in  the  night,  and  run  and  listen  out- 
side the  nursery  door,  where  there  was  only 
silence. 

Dr.  Armstrong  had  begun  the  morphia,  but  he 


^6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

never  let  them  give  her  enough.  Joy  had  not 
thought  of  pain  before.  Old  people  in  the  village 
were  sometimes  ill,  and  soup  and  puddings  went 
to  them.  The  boys  fell  out  of  trees,  broke  small 
bones,  which  were  easily  set,  and  climbed  back 
into  the  trees  again.  But  now  she  knew  that  the 
universe  had  lied  to  her;  it  had  told  her  to  dance 
and  sing  when  children  could  be  tortured  to  death. 
She  still  trusted  in  God,  and  when  she  was  n't 
amusing  Rosemary,  she  prayed  with  a  fierce  and 
unrelenting  passion.  If  anythirg  could  move  the 
heavens,  she  would  move  them. 

Joy  always  went  to  the  early  service  every 
Sunday.  It  was  a  great  help  to  her  because  she 
gave  herself  up  then,  and  asked  God  to  give  her 
Rosemary's  illness  and  spare  Rosemary.,  Some- 
times for  five  minutes  she  felt  calm  and  happy,  as 
if  He  had  answered  her  and  would  really  take  her 
young  body  and  break  it  and  leave  Rosemary  free. 

But  it  never  happened.  The  calm  v/as  torn  to 
shreds  by  the  dreadfulness  of  her  unblemished 
health.  She  was  perfectly,  unendurably  well.  She 
even  ate  and  slept  normally.  And  while  Rosemary 
wasted  away  beneath  the  rod  of  pain,  all  the 
little  flowers  came  out  on  the  hillside  and  under 
the  waterfalls.     Primroses,  pale  and  soft,  like 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  77 

Rosemary  when  she  was  well,  the  youngest  and 
most  innocent  of  all  the  flowers.  In  the  woods 
the  hart's-tongue  ferns  burned  green  and  the 
bluebells  made  deep  pools  of  azure  underneath 
the  trees. 

Spring  was  beautiful  and  young;  it  set  sharp 
teeth  into  Joy's  heart.  She  could  not  bear  the 
tender  new-born  leaves;  the  scent  of  a  brier-rose 
came  on  her  like  a  blow.  The  birds  were  worst 
of  all,  because  even  when  they  were  quite  young 
and  unsteady  on  their  wings  they  could  fly  away. 
And  over  and  over  again  Joy  whispered  to  herself 
as  she  watched  their  flight,  '*0h,  that  she  had 
wings  like  a  dove,  that  she  might  flee  away  and 
be  at  rest  I" 


IT  was  very  near  the  end  now.  Joy  did  not  know 
how  near,  but  she  had  stopped  asking  Dr. 
Armstrong  any  questions.  She  had  a  terror  of 
leaving  Rosemary's  room.  It  was  as  if  what 
she  was  afraid  of  waited  for  her  outside  the  door. 
She  was  safe  as  long  as  she  stayed  inside  with 
Rosemary;  even  Rosemary's  pain  seemed  less 
while  she  ministered  to  it. 

Joy  felt  it  was  as  silly  to  ask  her  to  come  away 
and  rest  as  if  some  one  suggested  reading  out 
loud  to  her  while  she  was  in  a  runaway  dog-cart, 
and  when  her  mother  told  her  that  Nicolas  was 
down-stairs  in  the  drawing-room  waiting  to  see 
her,  she  felt  a  sudden  exasperation  against  Nicolas. 
He  had  had  no  business  to  come  back  to  England 
just  then  and  want  to  see  her  in  the  drawing-room.; 

When  she  opened  the  door  she  saw  him  stand- 
ing by  Maude,  who  was  pouring  out  tea,  and  they 
were  both  laughing  merrily.  Joy  did  not  blame 
Maude  for  this;  she  shielded  Maude  even  from 
her  own  thoughts,  but  she  blamed  Nicolas.    When 

78 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  79 

he  looked  up  at  Joy,  he  stopped  laughing,  and 
his  face  and  voice  grew  very  grave.  He  asked 
her  at  once  how  Rosemary  was.  It  was  right 
that  it  should  be  the  first  thing  he  said  to  her, 
but  it  was  too  close  to  that  merry  laughter  for 
her  really  to  answer  him.  She  said  quietly,  al- 
most indifferently,  that  Rosemary  was  just  the 
same. 

The  room  was  full  of  people  and  merriment. 
Julia  was  there,  and  a  strange  man  with  her.  Julia 
took  Joy  in  her  arms  and  held  her  close.  Her 
eyes  were  wet,  and  she  trembled  as  she  held  her. 
Joy  could  feel  the  thrill  of  her  sympathy.  Julia 
minded  with  a  curious  sharpness.  She  minded  not 
because  she  had  particularly  liked  Rosemary, — it 
was  Nicolas  whose  favorite  Rosemary  had  been, — 
but  because  the  intensity  of  her  own  happiness 
made  her  for  a  moment  understand  pain. 

Joy  remembered  in  a  dull  way  that  some  one 
had  told  her  that  Julia  was  engaged  to  be  married, 
so  that  when  Julia  said,  "This  is  Owen,  Joy — 
Owen  Ransome,'*  Joy  guessed  this  was  the  strange 
man  who  was  going  to  marry  Julia. 

Owen  Ransome  was  n't  a  bit  like  Nicolas.  He 
was  graceful  and  alert  and  quite  peculiarly  kind. 
He  brought  her  tea  and  isolated  Julia,  Joy,  and 


8o  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

himself  from  the  rest  of  them.  Country  people 
are  always  a  little  awkward  and  even  resentful 
of  strangers  when  they  meet  them  for  the  first 
time,  but  there  was  no  awkwardness  in  Mr.  Ran- 
some.  He  seemed  at  once  like  an  old  friend.  He 
talked  a  great  deal  more  than  any  one  Joy  had 
ever  met,  but  quietly  and  unaggressively,  as  if  he 
were  covering  up  something  that  might  hurt  if  It 
were  left  uncovered.  ^ 

Julia  listened  to  him  and  looked  happy  all  the 
time,  but  her  happiness  did  not  hurt  Joy  as 
Nicolas's  laugh  had  hurt  her ;  it  pleased  and  com- 
forted her  very  much.  She  would  have  liked  to 
sit  for  a  long  time  with  those  two  happy  people. 
She  felt  like  a  convalescent,  aware  of  her  own 
weakness,-  drinking  in  with  gratitude  the  warmth 
and  strength  of  the  sun. 

Nicolas  came  over  to  her  and  asked  her  in  a 
low  voice  if  she  would  n't  come  out  and  show  him 
the  waterfall.  She  wished  he  had  stayed  with 
Maude.  They  had  a  waterfall  of  their  own  in 
the  High  Meadow,  above  the  Rock.  He  made 
the  excuse  that  after  five  years  in  India  a  fellow 
had  a  hankering  for  waterfalls.  It  was  n't  a  good 
excuse,  because  the  High  Waterfall  was  a  trivial 
affair.    If  Nicolas  had  wanted  to  look  at  a  water- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  8i 

fall,  Watersmeet,  as  he  must  have  known,  had 
a  dozen  very  much  grander  ones.  But  although 
Nicolas  always  knew  what  he  wanted,  he  was 
not  very  good  at  finding  excuses  for  getting  it. 

Something  or  other  happened  when  Nicolas 
came  and  stood  behind  her  chair.  Mr.  Ransome 
looked  at  Nicolas,  and  Nicolas  looked  at  Mr.  Ran- 
some, as  if  they  didn't  like  each  other.  Joy 
knew  Nicolas  so  well  that  she  felt  his  dislike  in 
the  air.  She  did  n't  know  Mr.  Ransome,  of 
course,  and  the  quick  glance  he  gave  Nicolas  might 
only  have  been  surprise;  but  Julia  flushed  sud- 
denly as  if  she  felt  it  was  n't  only  surprise. 

Joy  rose  obediently  and  left  the  room  with 
Nicolas.  She  did  not  want  to  go,  and  she  felt 
vaguely  hurt  with  Nicolas  for  taking  her ;  but  she 
knew  that  she  had  felt  hurt  lately  for  very  slight 
causes.  It  was  as  if  the  power  of  pain  in  her 
heart  drew  against  her  all  the  little  pricks  and 
arrows  of  fortune.  Pain  had  made  her  vulnerable 
to  pain. 

Nicolas  was,  as  usual,  extremely  silent.  He 
could  n't  make  conversation,  and  he  did  n't  try. 
He  only  walked  along  beside  her,  very  big  and 
brown,  swinging  his  riding-cane  in  his  hand  and 


82  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

trying  not  to  stare  at  her.  At  last  he  said  in  a 
queer,  moved  voice : 

"You  know  I  'm  most  dreadfully  sorry,  don't 
you?" 

Joy  stopped  short;  the  color  rushed  to  her 
face.  He  could  say  that  and  laugh — laugh  not 
as  people  laugh  who  are  forcing  themselves  to  be 
polite,  but  with  a  spontaneous  gaiety! 

*'You  used  to  love  Rosemary,"  she  said  harshly. 
**Do  you  want  to  see  her  now?" 

It  was  n't  a  fair  thing  to  ask,  and  she  knew  it 
was  n't.  How  could  he  want  to  see  the  racked 
and  tortured  child?  Nicolas  was  afraid  of  his 
own  clumsiness.  He  had  none  of  the  neat  adapta- 
bility of  the  self-assured.  Joy  was  deliberately 
forcing  him  to  fail  her,  and  he  did  fail  her.  He 
stepped  back  and  stammered.  He  showed  her 
that  he  did  n't  want  to  see  Rosemary. 

**Might  we  see  the  waterfall  first?"  he  asked 
humbly. 

Joy  looked  at  her  watch. 

**I  have  half  an  hour,"  she  said  drily. 

She  was  singularly  fair  about  the  time.  ShcJ 
might  have  given  him  only  twenty  minutes,  but  she 
would  give  him  the  ten  extra  reluctant  minutes, 
since  she  was  not  prepared  to  give  him  anything 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  83 

else.  The  grass  was  thick  and  wet.  The  little 
waterfall  hung  over  them,  a  frail  sheet  of  foam; 
at  their  feet  was  a  rushing  pool  where  the  small, 
broken  waves  folded  and  intersected  themselves, 
running  back  on  their  own  swiftness.  The  pool 
was  surrounded  by  thick-set  mosses  and  long, 
green  ferns.  A  tiny  stream  broke  out  of  it,  spar- 
kling and  brown,  feeding  the  rich  grass  meadow. 

Nicolas  could  remember  when  he  and  Joy  had 
paddled  In  the  stream,  Joy  obediently  lending  her- 
self to  his  authority  upon  the  habits  of  paper  boats. 
There  was  an  india-rubber  doll,  too,  that  she  had 
sacrificed  to  leap  the  waterfall,  but  had  afterward, 
its  contortions  being  agonizingly  lifelike,  insisted 
on  Nicolas  wading  Into  the  depths  of  the  pool  to 
save.  She  had  no  memory  to  spare  for  these 
things  now.  She  asked  Nicolas  perfunctory  ques- 
tions about  his  life  In  India.  At  first  he  answered 
her  In  monosyllables ;  then  he  stopped  speaking  al- 
together, and  only  looked  at  her. 

"Joy,"  he  said  at  last,  "I  've  come  back,  but 
I  don't  know  where  you  are." 

"Don't  you?"  she  asked  bitterly.  "You  might 
know,  if  you  're  so  dreadfully  sorry." 

"You  won't  let  me  come  near  you,"  he  said 
humbly.    "If  I  can't  come  near,  you  know  I  can't 


84  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

tell  you  anything.  I  'm  too  stupid.  I  'm  not 
like  that  glib  fellow  Ransome." 

Joy  moved  farther  away  from  him.  She  knew 
perfectly  well  that  Nicolas  had  not  meant  physical 
nearness  and  that  her  action  cut  him  to  the  quick. 
She  knew  that  if  only  Nicolas  would  lose  his 
temper  with  her  she  would  feel  a  great  deal  bet- 
ter and  probably  be  very  kind  to  him,  but  Nicolas 
had  a  slow  temper.  He  grew  red  under  her 
treatment,  but  he  did  not  lose  his  self-control. 

'*Why  dvjn't  you  like  Mr.  Ransome?"  she  asked 
coldly.  *'It  must  hurt  Julia  to  have  you  so  un- 
friendly." 

**It  '11  hurt  Julia  a  damned  sight  more  if  she 
marries  him,"  said  Nicolas,  fiercely. 

*'I  suppose  you  learned  to  swear  in  India,"  she 
said  stiffly. 

'*No,  I  did  n't,"  said  Nicolas,  with  a  vexed 
laugh.  *'I  learned  to  swear  here  about  two  min- 
utes ago.  Does  every  girl  that  man  looks  at  lose 
her  head  about  him?" 

Joy  had  made  him  lose  his  temper  at  last,  but 
it  did  n't  improve  matters.  She  was  too  indignant 
to  speak. 

'^Nicolas !"  she  exclaimed.    She  did  n't  even  re- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


85 


member  what  Mr.  Ransome  looked  like,  and  how 
dared  Nicolas  think  that  she  cared  for  any  man's 
looks  now  ? 

She  turned  away,  and  began  to  walk  back  to- 
ward the  house ;  but  Nicolas's  hand,  which  was  as 


"  'Joy/  he  said  at  last,  'I've  come  back,  but  I  don't  know  where  you  are*  ** 

hard  as  iron,   shot  out  and  caught  her  by  the 

wrist. 

**Just  one  moment,"  he  said  quietly,  letting  it 

drop  as  soon  as  she  had  turned  to  face  him.     *'I 

beg  your  pardon.     I  should  n't  have  said  that. 

But,  Joy,  when  I  was  here  before  you  used  to  let 

me  tell  you  things,  and  you  did  n't  think  I  was 


86  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

all  wrong  before  even  I  'd  got  them  off  my  chest." 

Joy  came  back  to  him  in  a  moment. 

"O  Nicolas,"  she  said  quickly,  in  quite  a  differ- 
ent voice,  "are  you  unhappy,  too?" 

He  looked  at  her  with  his  queer  eyes,  which 
danced  when  they  fought  and  danced  when  they 
were  tender,  but  surely  could  n't  dance  if  he  was 
really  unhappy,  as  they  were  dancing  now. 

*'Where 's  Ajax?"  he  asked  her,  instead  of 
answering  her  question. 

"Oh,"  said  Joy,  "didn't  he  come  with  us?  I 
suppose  I  must  have  forgotten  to  let  him  out  of 
the  stable-yard." 

"Look  here,"  asked  Nicolas,  "are  you  going  to 
forget  everybody  because  they  are  n't  ill?" 

She  took  a  quick  breath  as  if  he  had  struck  her. 
It  was  unendurable  of  him  to  blame  her  now 
and  to  try  to  dissipate  the  awful  concentration  of 
her  faculties.  He  wanted  to  interrupt  her,  and 
on  her  remaining  free  from  interruption  depended 
all  her  strength. 

The  worst  of  it  was  that  Nicolas  was  real. 
She  saw  him  not  as  she  saw  everybody  else,  as  if 
they  were  figures  moving  about  on  a  screen. 
Nicolas  was  as  real  as  a  burglar,  and  he  broke 
into  her  privacy  with  just  the  same  lawless  force. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  87 

But  she  had  a  weapon  against  him,  and  since  he 
had  attacked  her,  she  would  use  it.  She  could  al- 
ways hurt  Nicolas  a  great  deal  more  than  Nicolas 
could  hurt  her. 

"You  are  not  really  unhappy,"  she  said,  "and' 
it  is  no  use  trying  to  make  me  listen  to  you  now.  I 
dare  say  we  were  a  great  deal  to  each  other  when 
we  were  young;  I  don't  remember.  But  I  am  not 
like  what  I  was  then.  Everything  Is  different  for 
me  now.  Maude  belongs  to  that  time  still,  and 
I  expect  you  will  find  the  boys  just  the  same.  Why 
don't  you  go  to  them  ?    They  'd  love  to  have  you." 

"Thank  you,"  said  Nicolas,  "I  dare  say  they 
would,  but  I  don't  belong  to  any  time.  I  belong 
to  you.  I  thought  you  knew  that.  You  can  shut 
me  out,  of  course,  but  you  can't  prevent  my  stay- 
ing exactly  where  you  shut  me.  I  '11  wait  if  I 
have  to;  but  if  you  make  me  wait,  not  even  you 
can  stop  my  being  unhappy." 

It  was  one  thing  to  make  Nicolas  angry,  but 
it  was  quite  another,  a  most  dreadful  thing  to 
Joy,  to  make  any  one  who  belonged  to  her  un- 
happy. She  had  struck  too  hard,  and  her  weapon 
returned  against  herself.  She  hesitated  on  the 
brink  of  recantation,  and  then  the  clock  in  the 


,88  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

valley  struck  six.  Joy  started,  and  turned  quickly 
away  from  him. 

'*0h,  I  'm  late !''  she  cried,  aghast.    "Good-by." 

She  walked  swiftly  toward  the  house.  Perhaps 
if  Nicolas  really  liked  waterfalls,  he  would  stay 
and  look  at  it.  But  he  didn't  stay;  he  swung 
along  easily  beside  her  in  one  of  his  companion- 
able silences.  When  they  reached  the  hall  he  said 
very  gently,  as  if  he  had  forgotten  all  about  their 
angers : 

'*May  I  come  up  with  you?" 

She  knew  that  she  could  n't  bear  him  even  to 
see  Rosemary.  She  shook  her  head  and  ran  up- 
stairs without  a  word;  but  she  couldn't  quite  get 
rid  of  him  even  in  Rosemary's  room.  Her  heart 
misgave  her  for  being  unkind.  She  had  never  de- 
liberately tried  to  hurt  any  one  before.  She  re- 
membered that  she  had  n't  even  asked  what  he  had 
on  his  mind  about  Mr.  Ransome.  It  was  very 
unlike  Nicolas  to  say  anything  against  another 
man.  He  was  not  by  nature  critical  and  he  never 
accused  without  a  cause.  His  worst  complaints  of 
men  he  disliked  were,  as  a  rule,  that  they  were 
not  his  sort;  but  he  obviously  went  further  than 
this  in  his  opposition  to  that  peculiarly  kind  man, 
Mr.  Ransome. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  89 

Rosemary  was  asleep.  Mrs.  Featherstone  sat 
bolt  upright  in  a  chair  beside  her.  The  sun  filled 
the  night  nursery  and  touched  in  turn  all  Rose- 
mary's flowers.  Joy  had  made  a  garden  of  her 
room,  and  sometimes  Rosemary  smiled  at  them, 
and  sometimes  she  turned  her  face  toward  the 
wall,  as  if  looking  at  the  flowers  hurt  her. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  kissed  Joy  tenderly,  and  Joy 
clung  to  her.  She  knew  how  much  her  mother 
cared.  Mrs.  Featherstone  did  not  spend  much  of 
her  time  with  Rosemary,  because  she  still  did  not 
understand  illness;  but  she  understood  nearly 
everything  else.  Her  eyes  rested  on  Joy  question- 
ingly  for  a  moment,  then  she  sighed,  and  kissed 
her  again,  before  she  slipped  quietly  out  of  the 
room.  Joy  was  safe  at  last.  She  was  close  to 
the  child,  and  there  was  nothing  to  disturb  them. 
The  blessed  ease  of  the  morphia  wrapped  the  tiny 
slumbering  form  in  peace. 

Time  moved  imperceptibly.  The  rooks  came 
home  to  the  elms  at  the  bottom  of  the  garden, 
shaking  the  sky  with  their  reverberating  voices  and 
the  rocketing  of  their  thick,  black  wings.  A  dis- 
tant cuckoo  held  his  evening  song  later  than  all 
the  other  singing  birds.  The  light  grew  intense, 
and  then  slowly  began  to  fade.     Joy  heard  the 


90  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

horses  come  up  the  drive  to  take  the  Pennants 
home.  There  was  a  soft  sound  at  the  door.  For 
a  moment  her  heart  beat  fast  and  angrily.  Could 
it  be  Nicolas  who  had  disobeyed  her? 

But  Nicolas  would  not  disobey  her.  It  was  only 
Julia,  who  came  in  and  knelt  beside  the  bed — ^Julia, 
with  her  beauty  and  her  thrilling  happiness^ 
touched  to  the  depth  of  her  heart  by  little  Rose- 
mary. She  knelt  there,  hardly  daring  to  breathe 
for  a  long  time,  and  then  she  buried  her  head  in 
Joy's  lap  and  shook  with  silent  tears. 

Joy  bent  her  head  and  whispered  reassurances 
and  consolations  to  Julia.  She  wanted  to  make 
it  easy  for  her  to  think  of  Rosemary,  and  for 
Nicolas  she  had  wanted  to  make  thinking  of  Rose- 
mary hard. 

"It  isn't  really  so  bad  now,"  she  whispered; 
"she  does  n't  suffer  so  much.  She  's  not  exactly 
better,  but  anything  is  better  than  pain." 

Julia  kissed  Joy's  hands,  and  then  very  tenderly 
kissed  her  face.  The  tears  were  running  down 
Julia's  cheeks,  but  Joy  did  n't  cry. 

"Oh,  I  want  you  to  be  happy,"  Julia  whispered 
— "happy  as  I  am  happy  1  You  will!  You  will! 
O  Joy !"  and  Joy  smiled  a  queer  little  wan  smile  in 
answer.     She  was  wondering  at  the  importance 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  91 

people  attached  to  happiness.  It  seemed  to  her 
like  something  that  had  happened  to  her  a  long 
time  ago  and  which  she  had  forgotten. 

Then  Julia  left  her,  and  it  was  only  after  the 
door  had  closed  behind  her  that  Joy  realized 
Nicolas  had  come  upstairs,  too.  He  was  stand- 
ing just  outside  the  door  all  the  time. 


VI 

ROSEMARY'S  illness  had  seemed  so  intermi- 
nable that  its  swift  conclusion,  the  brief  few 
minutes  of  flurry  at  the  end,  was  as  startling  as  if 
there  had  been  no  preparations  at  all.  Joy  had 
gone  to  bed  as  usual,  and  toward  dawn  she  was 
wakened  suddenly  by  the  massive  presence  of 
Patch  whispering  by  her  bedside  as  if  she  were 
afraid  of  being  overheard. 

*'Oh,  if  you  please.  Miss  Joy,  there  's  something 
happening  to  Miss  Rosemary!" 

In  an  instant  Joy  was  flying  down  the  passage, 
the  sleep  torn  from  her  eyes  and  heart.  As  she 
reached  the  door  she  heard  the  loud  cardiac  breath- 
ing, which  had  come  on  in  the  last  few  days, 
louder  than  ever.  The  child  was  sitting  up  in 
bed;  her  eyes  had  a  curious,  restless  expression. 
She  seemed  to  be  looking  in  turn  at  everything 
in  the  room,  as  if  she  was  going  away  on  a  jour- 
ney and  wanted  to  remember  her  old  possessions, 
which  she  must  leave  behind.     Her  eyes  fell  on 

Joy  almost  accusingly. 

92 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  93 

"I  should  like  you  to  sing,"  she  said  clearly, 
with  little  pauses  between  the  words,  "  *Three 
blind  mice.'  '' 

Joy  knelt  down  beside  the  bed,  slipping  her  arms 
under  the  huddled  little  form,  and  raised  a  quiver- 
ing voice.  The  child's  bandaged  little  hand  waved 
flutteringly  in  time  to  the  tune  Joy  sang : 

"Three  blind  mice,  see  how  they  run! 
They  all  ran  after  the  farmer's  wife; 
She  cut  off  their  tails  with  a  carving-knife. 
Did  you  ever  see  such  a  thing  in  your  life? 
Three  blind  mice!" 

"Oh,  my  dearie,  would  n't  you  like  a  nice  little 
hymn  instead?"  urged  Patch  from  her  station  be- 
hind the  bed.  But  Rosemary  did  not  seera  to  hear 
Patch ;  her  mind  was  taken  up  with  the  absorbing 
occupation  of  her  breathing.  Rosemary  murmured: 

"Is  the  night  coming  or  going  away,  Joy?"  She 
was  looking  into  the  light  of  dawn,  but  her  eyes 
were  growing  dim;  she  could  no  longer  see  the 
familiar  things. 

"It's  going,"  said  Joy,  breathlessly;  "the 
night 's  nearly  gone,  Rosemary." 

The  little  life  snapped  softly  like  a  worn  thread; 
there  was  no  struggle.    A  breath  came  and  shook 


94  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

her  for  a  moment,  and  then  passed  with  her  be- 
yond the  reach  of  pain. 

''O  Miss  Joy,  Miss  Joy!"  sobbed  Patch,  "the 
blessed  innocent  is  gone !" 

Joy  still  held  the  child  in  her  arms,  but  she  was 
aware  that  the  silence,  which  came  from  nowhere 
and  filled  the  room,  had  robbed  her. 

"There,  there,  my  dear,  put  her  down!  Put 
her  down!"  urged  Patch.  "You  can't  do  no  more 
for  her  now.  You  Ve  done  all  you  could  for  her 
always,  the  praper  lamb !" 

Joy  was  quite  submissive  about  it.  She  laid  the 
little  figure  back  on  the  pillow  and  walked  to  the 
open  window.  The  garden  was  full  of  mist.  A 
thick,  white  blanket  lay  over  the  valley  and  hid 
the  waterfalls.  On  the  little  lawn  streamers  and 
folds  of  mist  moved  lightly  in  the  dawn  wind. 
The  silly  little  tune  repeated  itself  in  Joy's  mind : 

Three  blind  mice,  see  how  they  run  I 

She  had  been  afraid  of  Rosemary's  death.  The 
thought  of  its  approach  had  haunted  her  for  weeks, 
night  and  day,  as  a  thing  ominous  and  terror- 
striking,  an  experience  more  awful  than  pain.  And 
now  it  had  come  and  gone  as  lightly  as  the  wind 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  95 

moving  aside  a  little  shape  of  mist;  and  there 
was  nothing  left  but  love. 

Rosemary's  death  made  very  little  difference 
to  the  life  of  Rock  Lodge.  Mrs.  Featherstone 
hardly  seemed  to  notice  it,  but  people  who  knew 
her  best  said  it  was  curious,  but  that  from  the 
day  the  child  died  they  never  saw  her  laugh  again. 
Mr.  Featherstone  prefaced  nearly  all  his  remarks 
with,  "Since  the  terrible  loss  of  my  little  daugh- 
ter  "  The  rest  of  the  family  were  quite  nor- 
mal about  it. 

Even  Joy  was  normal.  She  felt  so  much  hap- 
pier and  freer,  and  as  if  her  heart  had  suddenly 
expanded  to  meet  everybody  else's.  She  wanted 
to  see  Nicolas  again,  but  it  was  a  long  time  before 
she  saw  him  properly.  He  had  been  at  Rose- 
mary's funeral.  Joy  had  suddenly  realized  that 
he  was  standing  close  to  her  at  the  grave-side,  and 
she  had  been  very  glad  of  his  presence. 

She  had  not  minded  the  funeral ;  it  did  not  seem 
to  have  anything  to  do  with  Rosemary.  It  was  a 
blowy  autumnal  day,  with  spaces  of  light-blue  sky 
between  white,  polished  clouds.  The  dead  leaves 
ran  across  the  graves,  and  far  below  them  the  sea 
plunged  playfully  in  and  out  of  the  rocks.  The 
clergyman's  white  surplice  blew  up  all  round  him 


96 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


like  a  toy  balloon,  and  Joy  thought  she  must  be 
sure  to  tell  Rosemary  how  funny  it  looked;  and 
then  something  very  sharp  went  through  her  like 
the  prick  of  a  needle,  and  she  remembered  that 


"He  ran  across  Joy  unexpectedly  at  the  churchyard  gate" 

she  would  never  tell  Rosemary  anything  funny 
any  more. 

Julia  wrote  to  her  afterward,  and  said  that 
Nicolas  had  been  given  leave  to  attend  the  staff 
college  for  a  year's  course,  so  that  he  wouldn't 
be  going  back  to  India  for  a  long  time.  She  wrote 
as  if  she  were  a  little  hurt  with  Joy  about  some- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  97 

thing,  but  she  did  n't  explain  what  it  was.  A  very 
few  weeks  later  Julia  married  Owen,  and  went  to 
live  far  away  in  Surrey. 

It  was  nearly  a  year  before  Nicolas  came  back 
from  the  staff  college.  He  ran  across  Joy  unex- 
pectedly at  the  churchyard  gate. 

**Hello,"  he  said.  "I  was  just  coming  up  to  see 
you." 

Joy  had  a  basket  of  roses  on  her  arm.  She  was 
going  to  put  them  on  Rosemary's  grave.  She 
would  n't  have  gone  on  doing  it  with  any  one 
else,  but  it  seemed  quite  natural  to  go  into  the 
churchyard  with  Nicolas.  After  she  had  put  the 
roses  all  round  the  green  little  mound  and  Nicolas 
had  fetched  the  water  for  her,  she  went  and  sat 
with  him  on  a  bench  by  the  church. 

Joy  scolded  Nicolas  a  little  for  not  having  writ- 
ten to  her  or  been  for  such  a  long  time  to  see 
them. 

"Has  it  seemed  long?"  said  Nicolas. 

"Years  and  years,"  said  Joy,  sadly. 

Nicolas  thought  she  meant  that  the  time  had 
seemed  long  because  she  had  been  unhappy  about 
Rosemary,  but  he  was  n't  quite  sure.  He  began 
to  play  with  a  ribbon  on  Joy's  dress. 


98  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

"It  seemed  long  to  me,  too,"  he  said  In  a  shy 
voice,  "but  I  did  n't  want  to  bother  you." 

"As  if  you  could  have  bothered  me !"  said  Joy, 
reproachfully.  "Why,  Nicolas,  I  don't  think 
there  's  anybody  I  know  as  well  as  I  know  you." 

"Still,  I  suppose  you  may  know  a  person  too 
well,"  said  Nicolas,  tentatively — "too  well  to  be 
interested  in  them,  I  mean." 

"O  Nicolas !"  exclaimed  Joy,  indignantly,  "how 
horrid  of  you  to  think  such  a  thing !  The  more 
you  know  a  person,  the  more  you  love  them." 

Nicolas  did  n't  say  anything  at  all  to  that ;  he 
seemed  quite  extraordinarily  interested  in  Joy's 
ribbons. 

"You  did  n't  seem  to  want  me  last  time  I  was 
here,"  he  went  on  after  a  pause.  "I  expect  it  was 
because  you  were  upset,  but  I  felt  badly — as  if  you 
did  n't  want  me  to  share  it  with  you.  You  were 
rather  sick  with  me  for  some  reason  or  other, 
were  n't  you?" 

Joy  thought  for  a  moment.  She  remembered 
dimly  that  she  had  had  a  queer,  unkind  feeling 
about  Nicolas,  but  it  hadn't  lasted,  and  she 
could  n't  remember  now  why  she  had  had  it. 

"I  expect,"  she  said  thoughtfully,  "it  was  be- 
cause I  was  so  upset  and  I  couldn  't  share  it.    It 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  99 

was  like  waiting  for  something  that  was  going  to 
happen.  I  could  n't  stop  it  happening,  however 
hard  I  tried,  but  it  seemed  as  if  I  had  to  keep 
waiting  for  it,  and  I  did  n't  want  to  have  to  at- 
tend to  anything  else  while  I  waited." 

"Well,  I  did  n't  get  much  attention,"  said  Nico- 
las, with  a  rueful  laugh.  "D'  you  think  you  could 
give  me  a  little  more  now,  Joy?"  He  had  stopped 
playing  with  her  ribbon,  and  took  hold  of  one  of 
her  hands,  tentatively  at  first,  and  then,  as  she 
made  no  effort  to  withdraw  it,  with  firmness. 

It  was  a  curious  feeling  being  held  like  that  by 
Nicolas,  very  protecting  and  kind.  Joy  liked  it; 
she  made  no  effort  at  all  to  take  her  hand  away. 

'*0f  course  I'll  attend  to  you,"  she  said  quick- 
ly; "I  want  to  hear  everything  about  you." 

Nicolas  gave  a  contented  little  sigh,  but  he 
did  n't  seem  to  have  anything  more  to  say.  He 
just  sat  there,  with  his  shoulder  touching  hers, 
looking  down  at  her  hand. 

"Begin  at  the  beginning  and  end  at  the  end," 
Joy  said,  "as  in  fairy-tales." 

"You  're  the  beginning,"  said  Nicolas,  quietly, 
"and  you  're  the  end — and  all  the  rest  of  it.  Noth- 
ing has  happened  to  me  except  you." 

Joy  remembered  what  her  mother  had  told  her 


lOO 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


long  ago  about  men.  Perhaps  she  ought  to  take 
her  hand  away  from  Nicolas,  but  she  did  not  want 
to.  She  felt  a  great  tenderness  for  Nicolas.  It 
was  not  exactly  love,  but  a  very  little  would  have 
turned  it  into  love. 

"You  see,"  Nicolas  explained,  "you  were  too 


Tm        — > 

*'  'You  *re  the  beginning,'  said  Nicolas,  quietly,  *and  you  *re  the  end'  *• 

young  before  I  went  to  India,  and  when  I  came 
back,  I  suppose  you  were  too  unhappy;  but  I  have 
felt  just  the  same  always.  Do  you  remember 
what  I  asked  you  to  promise  me  in  the  Doone 
Valley?'' 

Joy  nodded. 

"You  might  have  known,"  she  said,  "that  I 
should  n't,  anyhow.    But  I  remember  promising." 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  loi 

"Of  course  your  mother  was  perfectly  right," 
Nicolas  said —  "to  stop  my  kissing  you,  I  mean; 
but  she  would  n't  be  right  to  stop  it  now,  if  you 
liked  me  enough  to  let  me,  Joy." 

"Enough,"  said  Joy,  thoughtfully,  "to  let  you 
kiss  me.    Why,  of  course  I  do,  Nicolas." 

But  Nicolas  did  not  take  any  advantage  of  this 
lightly  given  favor ;  he  only  put  his  hand  on  Joy's 
shoulder  and  drew  her  round  so  that  she  was 
looking  straight  at  him. 

"Enough  to  marry  me,"  asked  Nicolas,  firmly. 
"I  could  marry  you  now.  I  have  enough  for  us 
to  live  on,  and  of  course,  as  I  'm  the  eldest  son, 
I  shall  eventually  have  Pallant.  We  could  take 
a  furnished  house  at  Aldershot  until  I  have  fin- 
ished my  course,  if  you  don't  mind  furnished 
houses. 

"I  know  it 's  rather  a  sacrifice  to  ask  of  any 
woman — that  Indian  business,  I  mean.  Sooner 
or  later  you  have  to  choose  between  leaving  your 
husband  or  your  kids;  but  I  know  how  you  love 
children.  I  hope  I  shouldn't  be  selfish  about 
you,  Joy." 

And  then  he  saw  that  Joy  was  horrified.  She 
was  shaking  all  over  under  his  hand.  Cold  per- 
spiration broke  out  on  her  forehead.     It  had  all 


\KJi:;;:OTlHE.C,RYSTAL  HEART 

swept  over  her  again,  that  premature  agony  of 
the  tortured  child.  Her  mind  felt  frantic,  as  if 
the  child's  screams  still  lingered  in  it,  as  if  death 
had  done  nothing  to  relieve  her. 

No,  she  could  n't  face  that  again.  She  could  n't 
risk  having  a  child,  not  even  for  Nicolas — another 
child  that  might  be  put  under  the  harrow  like  that 
and  cry  out  to  her  to  release  it. 

And  when  she  met  Nicolas's  eyes,  the  horror 
went  straight  through  him.  He  thought  it  was 
horror  of  himself.    He  sprang  to  his  feet. 

"Joy,"  he  cried  thickly,  *'d'  you  feel  like  that?" 

Joy  could  not  speak;  she  only  nodded,  with 
shaking  lips.  She  wished  he  had  n't  got  up  and 
gone  away  from  her.  She  had  a  hunger  for  his 
protection  and  the  solid,  kindly  comfort  of  his 
touch  upon  her  shoulder ;  and  yet  she  had  no  right 
to  take  that  comfort. 

Nicolas  looked  horrified,  too,  and  he  looked 
angry,  as  if  the  horror  was  unfair  to  him,  after 
his  great  content. 

**I  beg  your  pardon,"  he  said  fiercely;  "I've 
made  the  most  abject  mistake.  I  thought  you  said 
I  did  n't  bother  you,  but  I  see  I  do.  Never  mind; 
I  '11  never,  as  long  as  I  live,  touch  you  again. 
Don't  be  afraid.     I  see  exactly  what  you  feel. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  103 

You  don't  like  saying  *No'  to  me,  because  I  'm 
such  an  old  friend,  but  you  'd  hate  me  to  be  any- 
thing more  to  you.  I  was  right,  after  all,  to  keep 
away  from  you  after  last  time,  and  a  fool  to  come 
back." 

**I  couldn't  face  it,"  whispered  Joy, — ^her 
cheeks  had  become  a  curious  gray-white,  and  she 
was  still  trembling, — *'not  yet,  Nicolas." 

"You  '11  never  have  to  face  it,"  said  Nicolas, 
bitterly,  "either  now  or  at  any  other  time.  Good- 
by." 

He  hurried  away  from  the  little  churchyard  and 
out  of  her  sight  down  the  long  hill.  Joy  shut  her 
eyes  for  a  few  moments  after  he  had  gone.  The 
sunlight  on  the  late  September  flowers  frightened 
and  hurt  her.  This  had  never  happened  to  her 
before.  She  had  been  so  quiet  and  happy  all  the 
year.  She  had  n't  had  to  think  of  children,  little 
children  that  might  look  up  at  her  with  hurrying, 
questioning  eyes — eyes  which  she  could  not  satisfy; 
children  who  might  cry  out  at  her,  "O  Joy,  I  don't 
like  pain;  take  it  away!"  And  she  could  n't  take 
it  away. 

If  only  Nicolas  had  known  that  it  was  n't  of 
him  at  all  that  she  was  thinking,  if  he  could  have 
heard  that  dreadful  little  tune  pursuing  her,  he 


I04  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

would  have  understood  the  horror,  and  he  would 
have  taken  her  in  his  arms  and  taught  her  how 
horror  can  be  healed.  But  Nicolas  had  under- 
stood nothing  but  that  his  love  was  dreadful  to 
the  only  person  in  the  world  whom  he  could  ever 
love. 


VII 

PEOPLE  at  places  like  Lynton  do  not  have 
nervous  breakdowns,  but  sometimes  they  feel 
the  need  of  going  away  for  a  little  change.  A  little 
change,  it  was  decided,  was  what  Joy  wanted  after 
she  had  refused  Nicolas,  and  it  was  very  con- 
venient that  Julia  Ransome,  far  away  in  a  place 
called  Surrey,  should  have  had  twins  and  want 
Joy  to  come  and  help  her  look  after  them. 

The  twins  were  expansive,  voracious  creatures 
requiring  a  great  deal  of  concentration.  Noth- 
ing went  wrong  with  them,  but  they  had  a  great 
many  wants,  and  all  of  them  were  compulsory. 
Joy  became  absorbed  in  the  twins.  Weeks  slipped 
into  months,  and  she  still  bore  with  Surrey. 

Julia  and  Owen  had  a  fine  and  flowered  place, 
very  dry  and  light.  Their  large,  new,  pompous 
house  had  every  convenience  and  no  significance. 
There  were  excellent  meals  and  beds  in  it,  and  ex- 
pensively dressed  neighbors  streamed  hilariously 
through  the  house  and  out  into  the  neat,  flat  gar- 
den to  play  games.     There  was  seldom  an  hour 

105 


io6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

out  of  the  day  in  which  there  was  not  a  meal  or 
a  game  going  on. 

Julia  and  Owen  entertained  a  great  deal  with- 
out taking  much  trouble  about  it.  There  was  al- 
ways enough  of  everything,  and  when  they  said 
they  must  have  more,  they  only  meant  that  they 
had  to  order  it.  There  were  no  contrivances  and 
no  sacrifices  in  their  household  life;  after  Joy 
came,  even  the  question  of  the  twins,  which  had 
weighed  slightly  on  Julia's  mind,  despite  the  pres- 
ence of  an  excellent  old  nurse,  immediately  lifted. 
She  was  free  now  to  be  more  constantly  where 
Owen  wanted. 

It  sometimes  flashed  through  Joy's  mind  that 
marriage  had  changed  Julia.  The  Pennants  had 
never  spent  money  as  if  it  were  water,  or  time  as 
if  it  were  as  irresponsible  as  air.  They  had  duties 
and  difficulties,  and  on  the  whole  they  profited  by 
both  these  limitations.  With  all  that  was  going 
on  around  her,  Joy  was  aware  of  a  curious  lack 
of  profit. 

Joy  wondered  if  Julia  felt  it,  too,  and  missed 
the  vast  expanses  of  the  moors,  where  one  could 
walk  all  day  long  and  meet  nothing  but  one's  own 
thoughts,  and  where  life  itself  took  all  the  time 
there  was.     In  the  old  days  she  could  easily  have 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  107 

asked  Julia  which  life  she  preferred,  but  now  she 
could  n't  ask  her.  Marriage  had  flowed  around 
Julia  like  a  tidal  sea,  and  cut  her  off  from  the 
mainland  of  girlhood.  She  was  radiantly  happy, 
but  she  was  not  within  reach,  and  her  eyes  wore 
a  gay  and  guarded  expression,  as  if  what  she  en- 
joyed had  in  it  a  hint  of  danger. 

Sudden  imatiences  and  irritations  broke 
through  her  happiness.  It  was  not  when  her  own 
will  was  crossed  that  Joy  noticed  these  uncharac- 
teristic flurries.  Julia  had  submerged  her  personal 
will;  but  if  by  any  chance  Owen  could  not  have 
what  he  wanted,  Julia,  whose  temper  had  always 
been  placid  and  impregnable,  flamed  up  into  sud- 
den vehemence.  She  wanted  so  much  to  make 
Owen  happy  that  it  seemed  as  if  something  was 
at  stake  if  she  did  not  succeed.  Beneath  the 
easy  flow  of  her  life  there  were  secret  snags 
which  broke  into  a  curious  violence. 

But  if  marriage  had  changed  Julia,  it  had  done 
nothing  at  all  to  Owen  Ransome;  he  was  gayer 
than  Joy  remembered  him,  but  he  had  probably 
not  been  gayer  then  only  because  she  was  sad. 
Even  now  he  could  easily  suppress  it,  and  about 
his  gaiety  there  was  never  any  hardness  or  ruth- 
lessness,  as  there  sometimes  was  about  Julia's. 


io8  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

He  was  a  charming  host,  eager  about  the  amuse- 
ments of  his  guests  and  never  seeking  to  empha- 
size his  own.  Owen  loved  his  twins.  Joy  found 
him  oftener  in  the  nursery  than  Julia.  He  con- 
fided to  her  that  he  felt  it  terribly  absurd  to  make 
such  a  sweep  into  fatherhood,  but  he  always  knew 
how  much  they  weighed  and  which  was  cutting 
his  first  tooth. 

Owen's  manner  to  Joy  was  perfect.  It  was  as 
if  he  had  found  in  her  something  specially  de- 
lightful which  would  please  his  wife;  it  was  al- 
most as  if  he  felt  the  need  of  propitiating  Julia. 
Yet  what  need  had  he  to  propitiate  his  happy 
wife?  She  had  everything  in  the  world  she 
wanted,  a  husband  she  adored,  health  like  fine 
steel,  children  that  would  have  won  any  baby 
prize  if  they  had  not  been  born  in  a  sphere  above 
the  need  of  prizes.  Julia  could  have  all  the 
clothes,  conveyances,  and  friends  she  liked.  There 
was  no  one  to  say  *'No"  to  her  least  reasonable 
wishes. 

Joy  could  not  imagine  Owen  ever  saying  **No." 
If  he  had  a  fault,  it  was  a  too  ready  acquiescence 
in  the  wants  of  others,  so  ready  that  he  some- 
times gave  his  agreement  without  seeing  that  their 
wants  conflicted.  His  good  nature  had  no  apparent 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  109 

end.  It  was  perhaps  merely  the  profundity  of 
his  love  for  Julia  which  gave  him  the  appearance 
of  trying  to  lay  his  hand  upon  a  compensation  for 
her,  as  if  there  was  something  which,  after  all, 
he  knew  she  had  not  got. 

"Oh,  I  know  I  am  the  luckiest  person  in  the 
world,"  Julia  would  say  to  Joy,  with  an  under- 
current of  irony  in  her  voice;  *^you  needn't  tell 
me  that.  I  have  n't  even  the  smallest  of  Job's 
boils,  let  alone  his  misfortunes.  I  suppose,  if  I 
saw  a  misfortune,  I  should  not  know  what  it  was." 

'*0h,  but  it 's  more  than  the  things  you  have  n't 
got,"  Joy  said  in  the  only  memorable  conversation 
their  interrupted  life  ever  left  them  peace  to  go 
into.  "It 's  being,  I  suppose,  so  loved.  I  can  see 
it  in  you,  Julia,  as  if  some  one  had  set  a  lamp 
behind  a  curtain.  You  pull  the  curtain  down,  of 
course,  I  know,  but  the  light  shines  through." 

Julia  gave  her  a  long,  curious  look,  then  she 
said: 

"And  you,  my  dear — don't  tell  me  you  have  n't 
as  much  right  to  such  an  illumination  as  I  have. 
How  about  the  love  that  poor  old  Nick  has  for 
you?  You're  the  gentlest  human  being  I  know, 
and  yet  it 's  odd,  to  say  the  least  of  it,  how  you 


no  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

hurt  without  a  qualm  the  person  who  loves  you 
most." 

"I  did  n't  hurt  him  without  a  qualm,"  Joy  an- 
swered in  a  low  voice,  **but  it 's  so  much  to  be 
sure  of,  Julia.  I  want  to  know  I  can  bear  it.  I 
think  now  I  can  nearly  bear  it.  Your  babies  are 
so  well;  neither  of  them  ever  has  anything  the 
matter  with  it." 

Julia  stared  a  little. 

**My  babies?"  she  asked.  *'What  do  you  mean, 
Joy?  What  have  my  babies  to  do  with  your  not 
marrying  old  Nick?" 

**Don't  you  know  why  I  refused  him?"  Joy 
asked.  **I  told  him  I  was  afraid  if  I  had  chil- 
dren they  might  be  ill.  I  have  n't  talked  to  you 
very  much  about  that  time  with  Rosemary.  I 
didn't  think  I  could;  you're  so  happy,  and  one 
can't  tell  happy  people  everything.  But  I  've  been 
very  frightened  about  children  being  ill.  No  one 
could  mind  death  for  people  after  they  'd  seen 
pain;  but  pain  is  dreadful,  and  you  can't  stop  it. 
That 's  what  I  'm  afraid  of.  But  I  'm  getting 
better  all  the  time;  being  afraid  isn't  any  good. 
I  think  in  the  end  it  makes  more  pain,  so  I  do 
try  not  to  be  afraid." 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


III 


Julia  looked  at  Joy  for  a  long  time,  and  then 
she  said  in  her  tender  voice : 

'*Are  you  quite  sure  Nicolas  understood  that 
that  was  why  you  were  refusing  him?" 

"I  think  he  must  have  understood,"  Joy  replied. 
**I  tried  to  tell  him,  but  he  went  away  very  quickly. 


"  'Being  married  must  make  it  easier  to  tell  people  things' 


Being  married  must  make  it  easier  to  tell  people 
things,  because  they  're  always  there." 

*'No,  it  does  n't,^'  said  Julia,  quickly;  *'it  makes 
it  harder.  You  see,  you  Ve  said  all  you  Ve  got 
to  say.  They  know,  or  think  they  know ;  you  can't 
make  a  fresh  impression  on  people  who  already 
know." 

**But  some  people  understand  so  quickly!"  Joy 
persisted.  *T  should  think  Owen  did  without  be- 
ing told." 


112  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Instantly  that  guarded  look  came  over  Julia's 
eyes.     She  ceased  to  be  Julia ;  she  became  a  wife. 

*'He  is  wonderfully  sympathetic,  isn't  he?" 
she  said  in  a  cheerful,  perfunctory  voice  that  put 
an  end  to  the  subject.  It  was  as  if  Julia  still 
wanted  to  say  something  more,  but  not  about 
Owen. 

She  waited  for  a  long  time,  hoping  that  Joy 
would  give  her  an  opportunity;  but  Joy  didn't 
want  to  talk  to  this  new  Julia,  who  had  an  incom- 
municable consciousness.  She  wanted  the  old 
one,  who  talked  on  the  same  footing  as  herself. 
Finally,  Julia  produced  in  despair  a  fresh  subject 
which  might  have  a  more  fortunate  turn. 

"It 's  curious,"  she  said,  **how  much  Nicolas 
dislikes  Owen.  Did  you  know  they  had  been  at 
school  together?  I  simply  can't  have  him  in  the 
house.  Owen's  perfectly  willing, — ^he  's  most  dear 
and  kind  about  it, — ^but  Nicolas  won't  come." 

'^Not  even  to  see  the  twins?"  Joy  asked  in  hor- 
ror. Julia  shook  her  head.  "But  surely  he  must 
say  why,"  Joy  insisted.  "It  is  n't  like  Nicolas  to 
be  so  utterly  unfair  and  unkind." 

Julia  rose  slowly  and  straightened  a  picture  on 
the  wall;  she  answered  Joy  without  turning  to 
face  her. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  113 

"He  did  n't  want  us  to  get  married,  you  know," 
she  said.  **He  's  terribly  obstinate.  But,  Joy 
dear,  he  would  not  make  a  bad  husband — poor  old 
Nick!" 

The  next  morning  Joy  got  a  letter  from  her 
mother  to  ask  her  to  go  home. 

**We  have  had  rather  an  excitement,"  Mrs- 
Featherstone  wrote.  **Nicolas  has  been  at  home 
for  a  week  or  two  lately,  and  he  and  Maude  seem 
to  consider  themselves  engaged." 

Joy  was  sitting  in  the  rose  garden  when  she  read 
this  letter.  It  had  always  seemed  to  her  rather 
a  silly  little  garden,  like  something  arranged  for 
a  bazaar. 

There  were  rows  and  rows  of  very  expensive 
teas.  They  smelt  extraordinarily  strong  and  sweet 
and  had  the  most  exquisite  coloring;  but  they 
grew  there  in  that  flat,  expensive  way  only  be- 
cause they  had  been  planted  without  love  or  fore- 
thought by  gardeners. 

Her  eyes  lifted  themselves  to  the  finished 
blooms,  and  something  in  her  heart  fluttered  des- 
perately as  if  it  felt  itself  suddenly  drawn  in  and 
caged.  Something  that  had  been  wild  and  free 
and  quite  nameless  knew  that  it  would  never  feel 
free  again.     Joy  had  never  wanted  anything  for 


114  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

herself  before,  and  even  now  she  felt  she  had  no 
real  claim  on  Nicolas;  only  he  had  always  stood 
there,  the  one  solid  figure  in  her  life.  He  had  n't 
been  like  a  light  inside  her;  he  had  never  come 
near  enough  to  her  for  that,  but  as  long  as  Nico- 
las lived,  she  had  felt  sure  that  he  was  there  for 
her. 

It  wouldn't  make  any  difference  now,  she  told 
herself.  Maude's  husband  would  be  her  brother, 
and  all  her  brothers  were  dear  to  her,  and  would 
be  just  as  dear  whether  they  married  or  not.  Yet 
she  could  not  help  that  sharp  rebellion  of  instinct 
which  behind  her  reason  told  her  that  it  would 
never  be  the  same,  that  already  it  was  different. 

The  curious  feeling  in  her  heart  grew  all  the 
time.  There  was  nothing  to  look  forward  to  any 
more.  She  needn't  be  afraid  of  having  a  sick 
child,  and,  with  the  final  retreat  of  that  fear,  hope 
darkened  in  her.  There  would  only  be  other 
people's  children  now,  and  other  people's  loves. 

Maude's,  for  instance.  Of  course  Maude  would 
want  her  back  at  once.  They  must  get  every- 
thing ready  together,  and  Maude  would  want  to 
tell  her  about  Nicolas.  Already  Maude  knew  a 
great  deal  more  about  Nicolas  than  Joy  would 
ever  know.     Joy  had  never  known  Nicolas  as  a 


/ 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  115 

lover,  and  lovers  are  always  different.  They  con- 
ceal more,  perhaps,  but  they  give  more.  They 
give  all  they  have;  they  conceal  only  what  they 
have  not. 

A  hot  wave  of  color  swept  over  Joy's  face  as 
she  envisaged  Nicolas  as  a  lover.  Then,  reso- 
lutely and  without  hesitation,  she  put  the  Nicolas 
of  her  dreams  out  of  her  heart  forever;  the  Nico- 
las of  fact  remained.  He  was  going  to  be  her 
brother-in-law. 

She  made  this  final  transference  very  swiftly, 
and  as  she  looked  up,  she  saw  Owen  Ransomc 
watching  her  through  the  roses.  He  came  and 
sat  down  beside  her  without  speaking.  He  had 
a  quality  of  easy  intimacy  which  was  very  reas- 
suring in  moments  of  emotion. 

Joy  said  at  once,  and  with  no  visible  effort : 

"I  have  very  good  news  this  morning.  Nicolas 
is  going  to  marry  my  sister  Maude.  I  must  go 
home  at  once." 

"That  won't  be  very  good  news  for  Julia,** 
Owen  answered  lightly — '*yo^^  going  home,  I 
mean.  And  the  other — ^you  are  really  pleased 
about  it?  I  remember  your  sister  Maude.  She 
was  a  little  like  you,  about  as  like  you  as  a  garden 


ii6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

flower  IS  to  a  wild  one.  You  don't  mind  my  call- 
ing you  a  wild  one,  I  hope." 

Joy  shook  her  head. 

**I  know  I  am  untidy,"  she  said  regretfully;  '*I 
always  was ;  it  takes  so  long  not  to  be,  and  there 
are  always  so  many  other  things  I  want  to  do  in- 
stead. Maude  manages  her  time  better,  of  course, 
and  I  think  the  marriage  will  be  a  very  good 
thing,  because,  you  see,  I  love  them  both  so  much, 
they  could  n't  have  nicer  people  for  each  other." 

Owen  hesitated  for  a  moment;  then  he  said  a 
little  drily: 

**Nicolas  is  n't  very  imaginative." 

*'No,"  agreed  Joy,  truthfully,  *'I  don't  think  he 
is;  but  I  don't  think  people  have  to  be,  do  you, 
if  they  're  kind  and  straight  and  like  Nicolas,  I 
mean?" 

Owen  gave  an  odd  little  laugh. 

*'I  don't  think  they  have  to  be  at  all,"  he  said; 
*'but  I  think,  if  they  are  n't,  they  are  liable  to  make 
rather  serious  mistakes." 

*'But  Maude  is  n't  imaginative,  either,"  Joy  ex- 
plained a  little  anxiously;  ^^so,  you  see,  he  won't 
be  likely  to  make  any  bad  mistakes  about  her,  will 
he?" 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  117 

"Oh,  no,"  agreed  Owen;  "I  should  think  Maude 
would  be  perfectly  safe." 

Then  he  stood  up  in  front  of  Joy  as  if  he 
wanted  a  man  who  was  staying  in  the  house,  and 
appeared  to  be  going  to  approach  them,  not  to  see 
that  she  was  there. 

'*I  think  you  look  as  if  you  felt  the  heat  this 
morning,"  he  said  in  a  persuasive  tone.  "Do  you 
know  what  I  'd  do  if  I  were  you?  I  should  cut 
along  up  to  the  nursery, — it 's  the  coolest  room 
in  the  house, — and  I  '11  send  breakfast  up  to  you. 
It 's  such  a  bore  having  to  talk  to  a  lot  of  people 
round  a  table  in  the  morning,  particularly  when 
one  is  n't  feeling  very  fit.  Don't  come  down 
again  till  lunch.     I  '11  tell  Julia  your — ^your  good 


news." 


"Oh,  will  you?"  asked  Joy,  with  a  little  gasp 
of  relief. 

It  was  quite  true  she  did  feel  the  heat,  for 
when  she  stood  up,  her  knees  shook  under  her,  and 
it  suddenly  seemed  as  if  it  would  have  been  ex- 
traordinarily difficult  to  tell  Julia  that  Nicolas  was 
going  to  marry  Maude. 

Joy  gave  Owen  a  quick,  grateful  little  glance, 
and  he  met  her  eyes  with  an  expression  that  was 


ii8  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

like  sympathy,  only,  of  course,  he  had  nothing 
to  be  sympathetic  about.  He  merely  had,  as 
Joy  had  noticed  before,  particularly  nice,  kind 
eyes. 


VIII 

IT  came  slowly  and  wonderfully  to  Joy  that 
she  was  in  her  own  country  again.  The  earth 
itself  turned  from  its  drab  browns  and  grays  to 
a  deep,  rich  red.  The  fields  and  hedges  lost  their 
look  of  overcareful  handling,  and  melted  into 
moors.  The  trees,  heavier  and  more  human, 
brooded  tenderly  over  the  wet,  green  pastures. 
The  country  became  moister  and  milder.  Ferns 
grew  in  every  cranny;  the  thatched  houses  had  a 
blurred  and  weather-beaten  homeliness.  The 
people  she  saw  from  the  train  windows  were  more 
placid ;  they  moved  slowly,  with  the  air  of  natural 
things,  unsurprised. 

Joy  had  a  sense  of  enormous  thankfulness  in 
finding  herself  at  home.  Nicolas  might  fail  her, 
but  not  the  incorruptible  shapes  and  colors  of  her 
native  Devon.  Nobody  here  would  fly  about  all 
day  long  and  arrive  nowhere. 

Maude  met  her  with   Fidget   at   a  junction 

ten  miles  from  Lynton.    She  seemed  part  of  the 

freshness  and  sweetness  that  was  in  Joy's  heart. 

"9 


120  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

She  had  loved  Maude  always  and  accepted  her  al- 
ways; there  could  be  nothing  inimical  or  painful 
in  the  round,  soft,  pink  face  uplifted  for  her  kiss. 

Maude  hurried  her  along  to  the  dog-cart  to  re- 
lieve Fidget's  well-known  dislike  of  standing. 

'^I  didn't  bring  a  groom,"  Maude  explained; 
**I  wanted  to  talk.  We  can  drive  in  turns  if  you 
like.  Dick,  have  you  everything  in  at  the  back? 
All  right,  Hoskins;  let  her  go,  please.  There, 
we  're  off!  It  is  nice  to  see  you,  Joy;  nicer  than 
to  see  anybody,  except  Nick,  of  course." 

'*I  'm  awfully  glad,  dear,  about  Nick,"  Joy  said 
gently.  She  had  been  afraid  it  would  be  a  little 
difficult  to  speak  of  Nick  for  the  first  time;  but 
it  had  not  been  difficult,  and  if  it  had  been,  Maude 
would  not  have  noticed. 

"There,"  said  Maude,  with  satisfaction,  "I 
knew  you  would  be  glad.  I  told  mother  so. 
Mother  and  father  have  both  been  rather  awful. 
I  can't  tell  you  what  a  mercy  it  is  you  're  back. 
They  behave  as  if  I  'd  done  something  shabby. 
If  they  expect  people  to  get  engaged  sitting  round 
a  tea-table  under  the  noses  of  their  parents, 
they  're  very  much  mistaken.  But  of  course 
they  're  both  hopelessly  old-fashioned.  I  wanted 
to  tell  you  all  about  it  first,  so  that  you  could  see 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  121 

my  point  of  view.  What  are  you  staring  at  so 
hard?" 

'^Nothing,"  said  Joy.  **Only  the  hills  are  just 
the  same.  They  have  the  old  purple  look,  as  if 
there  was  a  spirit  of  darkness  moving  over  them." 

**0f  course  they  Ve  just  the  same.  You  'd 
hardly  expect  the  hills  to  change  just  because 
you  Ve  been  to  Surrey,  would  you?"  asked  Maude, 
with  some  impatience.  "As  for  purple,  you  might 
call  them  purple  if  the  heather  was  out,  though 
heather  is  really  red;  but  as  the  heather's  not 
out,  they  can't  even  be  called  purple.  There  must 
be  something  wrong  with  your  eyes." 

This  question  rapidly  settled,  Maude  returned 
with  relief  to  her  more  personal  topic. 

"My  feeling  was,  you  see,"  she  explained,  "that 
I  'd  much  better  make  hay  while  the  sun  shone. 
It 's  no  use  pretending  I  'm  as  pretty  as  you  are, 
Joy,  and  though  I  love  having  you  at  home,  I  get 
a  good  deal  more  attention  while  you  're  away. 
There  's  Nick,  for  Instance.  He  never  looked  at 
me  while  you  were  there ;  but  when  you  were  n't, 
I  took  care  that  he  should.  That 's  what  all  the 
row  's  about.  I  don't  see  why  poor  Nick  should  n't 
have  a  wife  and  children  like  everybody  else  just 
because  you  won't  have  him.    He  was  very  down 


122  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

in  the  mouth  at  first.  He  used  to  spend  all  the 
time  fishing,  and  never  opened  his  lips.  I  hurried 
off  after  breakfast  and  fished  with  him.  They 
made  a  fuss  because  I  did  n't  let  them  know  where 
I  was  going,  and  if  I  had,  they  M  have  made  an- 
other fuss  because  it  was  n't  proper.    Being  proper 


"  'Being  proper  isn't  the  way  to  get  married  now*  ** 

is  n't  the  way  to  get  married  now,  and  so  I  told 
them ;  but  they  only  got  rattier.  They  thought  I 
was  Visiting  the  poor.'  " 

Joy  considered  these  statements  carefully.  She 
could  picture  very  well  what  happened  as  far  as 
Nick  was  concerned.  He  must  have  sat  taciturn 
and  disgusted  on  a  bank,  too  polite  to  get  up  and 
go  away;  but  where  her  imagination  broke  down 
was  what  in  particular  Maude  had  done  to  shake 
him  out  of  his  gloom  and  turn  him  into  a  lover. 
She  knew  Nicolas  and  she  knew  Maude.    What 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  123 

she  did  n't  know  was  what  made  the  farmers'  sons 
stare  at  Maude  when  they  did  n't  stare  at  her,  and 
it  was  precisely  this  quality  which  had  drawn  Nick 
out  of  his  gloom. 

"We  all  thought  you  were  never  coming  back," 
Maude  went  on,  **you  seemed  so  wrapped  up  in 
Julia  and  her  old  twins.  I  told  Nick  you  'd  never 
marry.  You  're  just  one  of  the  women  who  don't." 

"Am  I?"  asked  Joy.  "But—"  and  then  she 
pulled  herself  up.  What  had  been  on  her  tongue's 
tip  was  that  nobody  but  Nick  had  ever  asked  her, 
and  that  she  hadn't  meant  to  go  on  refusing 
Nick. 

"I  've  been  quite  unhappy,"  pursued  Maude  In 
a  loud,  cheerful  voice  which  bore  no  community 
with  grief.  "You  see,  I  don't  mind  telling  you  It 
was  n't  particularly  easy  getting  engaged  to  Nick; 
he  always  had  that  nursery  idea  about  you.  But 
he  does  want  to  marry  and  he  always  liked  me  well 
enough;  and  now  It  all  depends  on  you  really 
whether  It  comes  off  or  not." 

"On  me?"  asked  Joy,  in  astonishment.     "But, 
my  dear.  It  does  n't  depend  on  any  one  now  except  ■ 
upon  you  and  Nick." 

"Oh,  that 's  all  nonsense,  of  course,"  said 
Maude,  with  the  unruffled  cynicism  of  common 


124  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

sense.  "Being  engaged  is  no  help,  really.  Men 
and  women  in  love  don't  depend  on  anything  ex- 
cept whether  they  have  the  chance  or  not.  The 
question  is,  Are  you  prepared  to  keep  out  of  my 
way?" 

Joy  drew  in  a  wondering  breath.  Was  that, 
after  all,  one  of  the  ways  in  which  to  look  at  love  ? 

"1 11  keep  out  of  your  way,  of  course,"  she 
agreed.  **Only,  Maude,  do  you  think  you  '11  be 
happy  with  a  man  who  only  wants  you  when — 
when  other  people  are  n't  in  the  way?" 

'*0h,  it 's  different  when  you  're  married," 
Maude  explained.  "You  never  understand  about 
things  like  that,  but  I  do.  I  shall  know  where 
I  am  when  I  marry  Nick.  Besides,  you  can't  se- 
riously imagine  Nick  breaking  a  vow,  can  you? 
When  we  're  married,  we  're  married;  he  '11  see 
that  for  himself." 

"But  he  ought  to  be  able  to  see  it  now,"  Joy 
persisted.  "You  know  I  'd  never  dream  of  com- 
ing between  you,  but  if  there  's  the  slightest  dan- 
ger of  his  turning  to  me,  why  did  you  ask  me 
to  come  back?" 

"Well,  there  is  n't  any  danger  unless  you  let 
there  be,"  Maude  said  frankly.  "I  wanted  you 
all  right.     You  and  I  have  always  done  things 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  125 

together,  and  no  one  sews  as  well  as  you  do.  Patch 
is  no  use  unless  she  has  you  to  stand  over  her, 
and,  for  another  thing,  I  wanted  you  to  make  the 
parents  less  sniffy.  If  you  're  on  my  side,  every- 
thing will  be  easier  all  round.  I  '11  take  on  Nick 
if  you  take  on  everything  else." 

The  purple  shadows  had  grown  darker;  the 
dense  bloom  upon  the  hills  made  them  seem  as 
if  they  were  inclosing  Fidget,  the  dog-cart,  the 
long,  winding  ribbon  of  road,  in  a  fuller  tender- 
ness. Joy  could  feel  on  her  lips  the  keen  and 
tonic  taste  of  the  sea. 

"Very  well,"  she  said  after  a  long  pause,  "I  '11 
take  on  whatever  you  like;  only  you  mustn't  ask 
me  to  do  anything  at  all  about  Nick.  What  has 
to  be  done  about  him  must  always  be  done  through 
you.  I  want  him  to  feel  I  'm  just  the  same  as  any 
other  sister,  not  a  person  who  has  to  manage  or 
explain  or  even  keep  out  of  the  way." 

"There  's  only  one  thing  you  must  do  about 
him  yourself,"  Maude  agreed  when  she  had 
thought  this  over.  "When  you  first  see  him  be 
sure  and  tell  him  you  're  glad.  If  he  believes  that, 
everything  will  be  easier." 

Joy  forgot  about  Nick  for  the  rest  of  the  eve- 
ning.    It  was  almost  bewildering  to  see  with  her 


126  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

eyes  all  that  she  had  been  seeing  only  in  her  heart. 
Everything  had  to  be  visited.  She  wanted  to  see 
every  one  she  knew  and  then  all  the  things  which 
belonged  to  those  she  loved.  Certain  of  them 
had  escaped  her  memory,  and  came  upon  her  sud- 
denly with  a  happy  thrill  of  recognition. 

She  had  forgotten  the  solid  set  of  her  mother's 
work-basket  planted  upon  the  drawing-room  table. 
Her  father  had  often  expostulated  upon  its  pres- 
ence in  a  room  so  sacred  to  gentility,  but  Mrs. 
Featherstone  merely  replied  that  she  sat  where 
she  worked,  and  worked  where  she  sat,  and  this 
strange  and  inexplicable  repository  had  remained 
a  public  landmark. 

The  dogs  bustled  to  and  fro  in  an  ecstasy  of 
proprietary  welcome.  They  were  just  as  anxious 
as  Joy  was  that  nothing  should  escape  her  notice. 
Mr.  Featherstone  was  gratified  by  Joy's  return. 
She  was  his  favorite  child,  and  he  took  it  as  a 
personal  compliment  that  she  should  be  so  pleased 
to  come  back. 

*Tour  old  father  has  seen  to  things  while  you 
were  away,"  he  said,  as  if  his  ministrations  had 
kept  the  cliffs  in  their  places  and  carried  on  the 
career  of  waterfalls.  It  had,  as  a  matter  of  fact, 
been  her  mother  who  saw  to  the  animals  and  had 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  127 

taken  over,  In  addition  to  her  own,  all  her  daugh- 
ter's duties.  Mrs.  Featherstone  said  nothing  at 
all  on  Joy's  arrival ;  she  only  held  her  close  for  a 
moment  and  looked  at  her  with  eyes  In  which  a 
very  deep  love  showed  for  a  moment  like  a  warn- 
ing and  then  vanished. 

Patch  cried  when  Joy  rushed  up  to  the  nursery 
to  embrace  her,  but,  then.  Patch  cried  very  eas- 
ily. There  was  no  need  to  seek  a  reason  for  her 
tears. 

Maude  had  Rosemary's  room  now,  and  Joy 
slept  alone,  but  she  did  not  sleep  much  that  first 
night.  The  harvest  moon,  the  color  of  an  or- 
ange, leaned  over  the  edge  of  the  valley  and 
took  all  the  shadows  out  of  the  rock  garden.  The 
garden  was  full  of  its  mysterious,  thin  light.  The 
flowers  around  the  lawn  bathed  in  it,  but  though 
their  petals  were  very  plain,  it  could  not  give  them 
any  color.  The  sea  moved  far  away  and  softly, 
as  If  it  were  complaining  in  its  sleep.  Sharper, 
and  with  a  melancholy  wail,  an  owl  hooted.  The 
night  was  still,  but  there  was  a  restlessness  In  It, 
as  of  unknown  forces  which  stir  before  they  act. 

After  breakfast  next  day  Nicolas  came.  Joy 
saw  him  first,  but  she  remembered  that  It  was  not 
she  who  must  run  down  the  drive  and  open  the 


128  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

gates  for  Moonlighter  any  more.  She  hurried 
up  to  the  nursery,  where  Patch  was  sitting,  and 
they  sewed  together  all  the  morning. 

Joy  went  down  for  lunch  and  saw  Nicolas  alone 
for  a  moment  in  the  garden,  close  by  the  hall-door. 
She  said,  *'Nick,  I  'm  so  glad!''  but  she  felt  a  little 
breathless  as  she  said  it.  She  held  out  both  her 
hands  to  him,  out  Nick  took  only  one  of  them, 
and  even  that  he  dropped  almost  as  soon  as  he  had 
touched  it.  He  looked  at  her  with  a  curious 
sternness  without  attempting  to  smile. 

*'Are  you  glad?"  he  asked.  '*Very  well,  then; 
so  am  I."  And  he  turned  away  from  Joy  and 
went  straight  into  the  house. 

It  was  perfectly  easy  for  her  to  avoid  Nicolas 
in  the  weeks  that  followed.  Indeed,  she  had  no 
opportunity  to  do  anything  else.  Nicolas  avoided 
her.  He  never  looked  at  her  or  spoke  to  her  if 
he  could  possibly  help  it.  It  made  Joy  feel  very 
sad.  She  had  believed  it  possible  that  a  new  love 
could  not  altogether  sink  an  old  relationship,  and 
she  had  not  thought  it  would  be  so  difficult  to 
have  less  and  still  keep  that  less  alive.  But  this 
new  Nicolas  had  no  need  for  her  at  all.  She 
seemed  not  to  exist  for  him  even  as  a  shadow. 

Nicolas  was  a  most  kind  and  attentive  lover. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  129 

There  was  perhaps  neither  the  enthusiasm  nor 
the  pride  of  possession  natural  to  a  young  man, 
but  Nicolas  was  always  reserved.  It  was  not 
strange  that  he  should  hide  his  feelings,  and  his 
actions  were  perfectly  satisfactory.  He  always 
stood  by  Maude's  side  as  if  he  was  prepared  to 
do  what  she  liked  and  enjoyed  being  in  her  pres- 
ence. 

They  were  both  thorough  sportsmen  and  they 
spent  all  their  time  riding,  shooting,  and  fishing. 
When  it  was  dry  enough  and  they  wanted  to  be 
at  home,  they  played  tennis  valiantly  on  the  lawn, 
and  chaffed  each  other  in  the  family  circle  round 
the  tea-table. 

The  marriage  was  to  be  in  six  weeks,  and  Joy 
found  her  whole  time  and  energy  absorbed  in 
helping  her  mother  with  the  arrangements  and 
finishing  Maude's  trousseau. 

It  was  to  be  a  big  county  wedding,  and  they 
were  to  have  a  large  reception  afterward.  Nico- 
las was  going  to  retire  from  the  army.  His  father 
had  died  a  few  months  previously,  and  he  had  be- 
come the  owner  of  a  large,  rather  scattered  es- 
tate. Nicolas  was  going  to  be  his  own  bailiff  and 
keep  the  stag  hounds  for  the  Exmoor  Hunt. 

It  was  just  the  kind  of  life  Nicolas  liked,  but 


130  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

no  one  would  have  guessed  this  fact  from  the  ex- 
pression his  eyes  had  in  repose.  Maude  was  as 
near  the  height  of  human  happiness  as  any  mor- 
tal ever  reaches.  She  came  in  and  out  of  rooms 
as  if  she  was  conferring  a  favor  by  her  presence, 
her  pink  face  grew  almost  solemn  with  impor- 
tance, and  there  is  very  little  doubt  she  would  have 
patronized  Mrs.  Featherstone  if  she  had  dared. 
She  treated  Joy  as  if  she  were  a  younger  and 
wholly  insignificant  being,  to  whom  Providence 
intended  her  to  be  benevolently  disposed. 

Mr.  Featherstone  had  recovered  from  the  ne- 
farious way  in  which  he  considered  the  engage- 
ment had  taken  place ;  he  would  never  quite  for- 
give Nicolas  for  not  having  married  Joy,  but  he 
felt  an  increased  appreciation  for  Maude  because 
she  was  marrying  Nicolas. 

Nicolas  was  the  most  suitable  match  in  the 
neighborhood,  and  he  made,  unasked,  extremely 
handsome  settlements. 

**In  the  case  of  my  death,"  Mr.  Featherstone 
remarked  with  the  sympathetic  gloom  no  other 
subject  inspired  in  him,  '*at  least  one  of  my  chil- 
dren will  be  provided  for." 

It  was  a  week  before  the  marriage.  Patch  had 
gone  down  for  her  tea,  but  Joy  still  sat  in  the 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  131 

nursery,  where  she  had  been  putting  finishing 
touches  to  Maude's  wedding  dress.  She  was  tired 
of  sewing,  but  she  did  not  want  to  go  down  to  tea ; 
she  had  heard  people  drive  up  and  a  clamor  of 
half-strange  voices  In  the  hall.  Patch  would  bring 
her  up  something  by  and  by,  and  when  she  was 
rested  she  would  finish  off  Maude's  new  caps. 

She  went  to  the  nursery  cupboard  and  pulled 
out  their  old  Noah's  ark.  Mrs.  Featherstone 
had  told  her,  If  she  thought  it  was  in  good  enough 
repair,  she  might  give  it  to  the  twins.  There 
were  no  such  Noah's  arks  to  be  found  In  modern 
toy-shops;  each  animal  was  covered  with  actual 
hair,  and  all  were  small,  but  beautiful,  copies  of 
the  originals. 

Nicolas  had  had  a  peculiar  gift  for  mending 
animals,  and  whenever  he  came  over  to  play, 
necks,  legs,  and  arms  recovered  their  natural  at- 
titudes. Joy  stood  the  animals  out  one  by  one 
upon  the  window-sill.  There  was  a  lifelike  mon- 
key, a  peacock  with  real  feathers  on  its  tail,  and 
a  very  large,  fat  dove.  Apparently  the  raven  was 
missing,  but  a  guinea-pig  came  out  the  size  of  a 
wolf.  Then  the  giraffe  appeared,  whose  neck 
Nicolas  had  mercifully  restored  to  him,  and  it  was 
just  as  she  stood  him  up  to  see  if  he  was  per- 


132  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

fectly  himself  that  Nicolas  opened  the  door  and 
came  in.    He  said: 

"Oh,  they  told  me  Maude  was  here/'  and  then 
stopped  as  if  there  was  nothing  more  to  say,  look- 
ing at  the  animals. 

He  was  standing  by  the  nursery  door  holding 
the  handle  in  his  hand  as  if  he  was  afraid  of 
letting  go. 

"No,  she  isn't  here,"  said  Joy,  carefully;  "but, 
Nicolas,  I  'm  glad  it 's  only  me.  I  wanted  to  say 
something  to  you." 

He  came  forward  and  stood  near  her,  looking 
at  the  giraffe  as  if  he  was  fascinated  by  it.  His 
eyes  for  the  first  time  since  she  had  come  back 
did  not  look  hard. 

"These  are  our  old  animals,  you  know,"  said 
Joy  after  a  pause.  "Do  you  remember  the  pea- 
cock's tail?  You  helped  me  dye  the  feathers  blue 
when  the  old  ones  came  off,  and  Rosemary  cried." 

"I  remember,"  said  Nicolas  in  a  curious,  dry 
voice. 

"I  can't  find  the  zebra,"  Joy  went  on  a  little 
breathlessly.  "Can  you  think  what  happened  to 
it?" 

"I  think  we  buried  it  in  the  garden  under  the 
pink  may-tree,"  said  Nicolas,  "as  a  sin  offering. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  133 

because  we  liked  it  the  best  and  had  stolen  old 
Honeyman's  apples.  I  don't  remember  unbury- 
ing  it." 

Nicolas  knelt  down  by  the  window-seat  and 
pulled  out  of  the  ark  a  chicken  the  same  size  as  a 
spotted  leopard  with  which  it  had  got  inextricably 
mixed. 

^'This  fellow's  leg  is  n't  right,"  he  said  unstead- 
ily.    **Have  you  any  glue?" 

Joy  found  some  on  a  shelf,  and  Nicolas  very 
carefully  set  to  work  upon  the  leopard's  leg. 

**What  was  it  you  wanted  to  say  to  me?"  he 
asked  without  raising  his  head. 

"Oh,  nothing  really,"  Joy  explained;  "nothing 
now.  I  was  rather  upset  before,  because  you 
were  n't  friendly  to  me,  Nicolas,  and  I — ^you  see, 
I  thought  I  was  coming  home " 

Nicolas  bent  lower  over  the  leopard's  leg. 

"What  d'you  mean?"  he  asked.  "You' are 
home,  are  n't  you?" 

"Not  if  you  're  not  friendly,"  said  Joy,  quickly. 
She  knew  now  what  she  had  wanted  to  say  to 
him.  "You  see,  Nick  dear,  when  the  boys  marry, 
I  sha'n't  lose  them.  Why,  I  couldn't  bear  it, 
could  I,  not  to  go  on  being  their  sister?  And  I 
don't  see  why  I  should  n't  keep  you  in  the  same 


134  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

way.  You  have  always  been  one  of  the  boys, 
Nick." 

Nicolas  put  down  the  leopard,  abruptly. 

*'I  Ve  heard  from  Julia,"  he  said,  and  without 
a  word  of  warning  he  buried  his  hard  head  in 
Joy's  lap  and  burst  into  sobs. 

Joy  knew  that  Nick  never  cried,  not  even  when 
he  was  only  eight  years  old  and  broke  his  wrist 
jumping.  His  breath  came  in  great  gasps,  as  if 
he  were  running  a  race  and  had  been  beaten.  Joy 
put  both  her  hands  over  his  head  and  bent  over 
him. 

**0  Nick !"  she  whispered,  *^Nick !  my  Nick !" 

Nicolas,  after  a  minute  or  two,  got  up  and  stood 
with  his  back  to  her,  looking  out  of  the  window. 

"I  Ve  been  a  fool,  my  dear,"  he  said  at  last, 
**and  I  Ve  got  to  go  on  being  a  fool.  That 's 
all  there  is  to  it.  You  'd  have  done  what  I  asked 
you  if  I  'd  waited.  That 's  what  Julia  told  me. 
I  suppose  it 's  true?" 

**0  Nick,"  she  said,  **she  ought  n't  to  have  told 
you — ^not  now.  It  isn't  any  use,  is  it?  I  'd  do 
anything  in  the  world  you  wanted  always — ^except 
hurt  Maude." 

"Yes,"  he  said  without  turning  toward  her; 
"but  that's  the  point,  isn't  it?    The  only  thing 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  135 

I  want  would  hurt  Maude.  But  we  may  as  well 
have  the  whole  thing  out  now,  anyhow.  I  thought 
when  I  asked  you  that  time  it  was  me  you  minded, 
— my  being  your  lover,  I  mean, — ^but  Julia  says 
it  was  n't.  She  says  you  \vere  afraid  because  of 
Rosemary,  and  having  a  fe^  that  might  be  ill, 
and  that  you  'd  have  got  over  it,  and  that,  anyway, 
you  liked  me  for  myself.  Don't  mind  telling  me 
the  truth  now.  I  '11  do  just  what  you  wish.  I  '11 
always  do  what  you  wish,  but  I  want  to  know." 

"O  Nick,"  said  Joy,  '1  thought  you  knew  what 
I  meant  then.  It  is  n't  any  use  my  saying  it.  Oh, 
but  of  course  I  liked  you." 

**Enough  to  marry  me?"  Nick  persisted. 

"Enough  for  anything  in  the  world,"  said  Joy, 
firmly. 

Nicolas  said  nothing  for  a  long  time;  then  he 
said  in  a  low  voice : 

"I  suppose  you  would  n't  let  me  kiss  you  once  ?" 

Joy  hung  her  head  miserably.  She  wanted  to 
kiss  him,  her  arms  ached  to  hold  him  close  against 
her  heart  and  take  his  pain  into  her  very  being; 
but  even  if  she  took  it,  she  could  not  keep  it.  He 
would  have  to  take  it  away  with  him  in  the  end, 
and  some  instinct  told  her  that  if  he  held  her  in 
his  arms,  he  would  have  to  take  more  pain. 


136  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

She  shook  her  head  without  speaking,  and  held 
out  her  hand  to  him.  Nick  took  it,  and  very 
gently  kissed  each  of  her  fingers.    Then  he  said; 

"I  'd  like  it  for  a  bit  if  we  did  n't  see  each 
other."    And  Joy  said: 

"Shall  I  go  now,  Nick,  or  wait  till  after  the 
wedding?" 

And  Nick  said: 

*'0h,  the  wedding  does  n't  matter.  Better  stay 
till  that 's  over,  of  course." 

Then  he  remembered  about  the  leopard's  leg, 
and  finished  it  properly  before  he  went  down- 
stairs. 


IX 

THE  wedding  went  off  very  well.  Arrange^ 
ments  in  the  Pennant  and  Featherstone  cir- 
cles usually  went  off  well.  They  were  considered 
sacred  and  put  before  everything  else.  No  one 
altered  a  plan  lightly,  and  no  one  dreamed  of  let- 
ting a  feeling  interfere  with  an  arrangement. 
People  could  feel  as  they  liked,  provided  that  they 
behaved  as  they  were  expectd  to  behave. 

Maude  made  an  excellent  bride ;  it  was  almost 
a  pity  that  so  much  brisk  competence  should  be 
confined  to  one  occasion,  but  there  was  nothing  in 
the  robust  appearance  of  Nicolas  which  promised 
to  provide  her  with  a  further  opportunity. 

Nicolas  stood  up  to  his  wedding  as  he  would 
have  stood  up  to  be  shot.  No  one  could  have 
told  whether  he  was  willing  to  be  either  married 
or  shot,  but  they  could  be  perfectly  sure  that  he 
would  go  through  the  ordeal  as  if  he  were  will- 
ing, if  he  considered  it  necessary  to  go  through 
it  at  all.  There  was  something  about  Nicolas's 
will  as  compulsory  as  a  prison  wall  within  which 
he  condemned  himself  to  solitary  confinement. 

137 


138  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  139 

Joy  worked  up  to  the  last  moment  of  the  wed- 
ding, and  mercifully  through  everything  except 
the  actual  service.  She  had  to  remember  lists  of 
things  which  still  needed  the  holding  together  of 
a  careful  eye.  She  dressed  the  bride  and  stood 
behind  her  at  the  altar.  There  were  four  brides- 
maids, but  Joy  was  the  maid  of  honor.  She  could 
see  Nicolas's  unchanging  face  and  steady  eye 
whenever  she  looked  up.  He  stood  like  a  figure 
carved  out  of  stone,  and  even  when  she  could  not 
see  him,  she  knew  how  he  looked. 

They  went  through  the  whole  long,  old-fash- 
ioned service,  and  several  hymns  sung  with  pene- 
trating ardor  by  their  two  village  choirs.  Every- 
thing was  perfectly  in  order.  The  bride  and  bride- 
groom were  told  quite  clearly  what  was  expected 
of  them,  and  about  the  whole  transaction  there 
was  that  particular  blend  of  violent  idealism  and 
hard  common  sense  which  is  so  often  found  when 
the  laws  of  God  and  man  are  expected  to  con- 
form to  one  another. 

Joy  was  a  devout  churchwoman,  but  it  just 
flashed  through  her  mind  as  she  listened  to  the 
stately  homily  pronounced  by  the  vicar  that  some- 
thing or  other,  she  didn't  quite  know  what,  es- 
caped. 


140  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

A  few  weeks  after  the  wedding,  while  Nicolas 
and  Maude  were  still  enjoying  their  honeymoon 
(they  had  decided  to  spend  it  upon  the  golf  course 
at  St.  Andrews'),  Joy  received  a  startling  letter 
from  Julia. 

An  accident  had  happened  to  her  which  did  n't 
seem  very  clear  even  after  Julia  had  rather  elabo- 
rately explained  it.  She  had  gone  up,  she  wrote, 
to  the  roof  to  have  a  look  at  a  choked  drain-pipe, 
and,  slipping  on  a  dead  leaf,  had  fallen  forty  feet 
to  the  ground.  She  ought,  she  supposed,  to  have 
been  killed;  but  she  was  n't  in  the  least  dead,  and, 
barring  rather  a  badly  broken  leg,  none  the  worse 
for  her  fall.  But  would  Joy  care  to  come  and  look 
after  her  household  for  her  until  she  could  get 
about  again  ?  She  knew  it  was  rather  a  tall  order, 
but  the  servants  were  good  and  already  devoted 
to  Joy,  and  she  could  n't  trust  any  one  else.  Still, 
Joy  must  not  come  if  she  would  rather  not,  if  for 
any  reason  she  would  rather  not.  Julia  under- 
lined this  statement.    She  added: 

I  know  all  about  the  wedding.  Please  don't  tell  me  how 
beautiful  a  bride  Maude  looked.  I  thought  you  'd  have  the 
sense  to  go  home  and  stop  it.  When  I  found  you  hadn't,  I 
wrote  to  Nicolas, — I  dare  say  you  won't  thank  me, — and  it  ap- 
pears to  have  been  as  useful  as  most  attempts  to  put  crooked 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  141 

things  straight;  but\  can*t  bear  to  see  a  thing  that  can  be  helped 
forced  into  a  stage  where  it  can't. 

Don't  worry  about  them,  though;  they'll  probably  come  out 
all  right  in  the  end,  and  hardly  know  it  if  they  don't.  They 
have  n't  got  any  illusions  to  trip  them  up. 

It 's  you  I  mind  about.  Not  that  I  think  you  really  cared, 
but  it's  dreadful  to  begin  to  care  and  to  be  left  with  that 
particular  feeling  on  your  hands. 

Try  not  to  be  left  long.  I  dare  say  you  think  it  matters 
dreadfully  whom  you  marry,  but  I  don't  think  it  does  nearly  as 
much  as  one  imagines,  provided  the  man  is  straight. 

Don't  be  too  romantic;  take  my  word  for  it,  it  doesn't  pay. 

The  twins  are  getting  on  splendidly.  They  roar  like  the 
bulls  of  Bashan,  and  spend  all  their  time  waxing  fat  and 
kicking. 

Yours  ever, 

Julia. 

p.  s.    It  really  does  n't  pay  being  too  romantic. 

This  was  an  odd  letter  to  receive  from  Julia 
Pennant,  who  was  the  happiest  woman  in  the 
world.  It  puzzled  Joy  so  much  that  she  gave  it 
to  her  mother  to  read. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  was  apparently  even  more 
struck  by  it  than  Joy  had  been.  She  read  it 
through  twice,  and  then  asked  rather  irrelevantly : 

"What  do  you  think  of  Owen  Ransome,  Joy?" 

Joy  said  at  once  that  he  was  the  most  enter- 
taining and  sympathetic  person  she  had  ever  met. 
He  was  full  of  kindness  and  tact.  It  was  a  pity 
he  did  n't  lead  a  life  that  was  more  worth  while; 
but  he  was  extremely  rich,  and  often  went  to  Lon- 


142 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


don  or  even  to  Paris  and  Antwerp  for  meetings 
on  international  finance.  Still,  most  of  his  life 
was  taken  up  with  amusements;  however,  even 
the  amusements  were  perhaps  part  of  the  upkeep 
of  a  business  career.  Joy  did  n't  know  much  about 
business,  but  whatever  she  knew  about  Owen  Ran- 


'She  gave  it  to  her  mother  to  read" 


some  was  to  his  credit,  and  she  liked  to  praise 
him. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  listened  to  her  for  some 
time  in  silence,  then  she  said: 

*Teople  lead  the  kind  of  lives  they  are,  unless 
they  are  quite  abominably  weak,  when  they  are  led 
by  other  people.  Good  people  lead  lives  that  are 
worth  while.  If  they  do  not,  I  do  not  think  they 
can  be  good." 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  143 

"But  I  know  Owen  is  good,"  said  Joy,  doubt- 
fully. 

**You  mean  you  know  he  is  pleasant,"  corrected 
Mrs.  Featherstone.  *Teople  can  afford  to  be 
pleasant  without  any  very  high  moral  standard." 

**He  's  fond  of  his  twins,"  said  Joy,  protest- 
ingly. 

**They're  nice,  healthy  children,"  observed  Mrs. 
Featherstone,  **and  he  is  a  rich  man  to  whom 
fatherhood  comes  extremely  easily.  There  seems 
to  me  no  good  reason  why  he  should  not  be  fond 
of  his  twins." 

Joy  looked  a  little  uncomfortable.  She  could 
not  quite  give  her  reasons  for  thinking  Owen 
good,  but  she  knew  she  thought  him  good.  Some- 
times she  was  a  little  less  sure  about  Julia,  Julia 
had  so  manifestly  changed.  It  really  did  seem 
sometimes  to  Joy  that  Julia  had  become  a  little 
worldly.  She  hoped  her  mother  would  not  ask 
her  any  very  direct  question  about  Julia;  but  Mrs. 
Featherstone  seemed  to  connect  the  two  subjects 
in  some  mysterious  way,  for  she  said  after  a 
pause : 

**I  knew  Julia  Pennant  very  well,  and  I  always 
liked  her  very  much.  I  do  not  like  that  letter  at 
all.     Particularly  I  dislike  her  reference  to  Nico- 


144  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

las.  Nicolas  is  married  now.  There  is  nothing 
more  that  can  be  conveniently  said  about  him. 
Don't  looked  so  distressed,  child.  I  do  not  blame 
you  in  any  way.  You  have  behaved  very  well, 
but  I  hesitate  to  give  my  consent  to  your  return- 
ing to  the  house  of  any  one  who  can  write  in  such 
a  hard  and  flippant  spirit. 

''It  is  an  unreserved  letter,  too,  and  I  never 
knew  Julia  Pennant  unreserved  when  she  quite  ob- 
viously should  not  be.  Marriage  has  deteriorated 
her,  and  I  was  wondering  if  Owen  Ransome  is 
not  to  blame  for  it.  Perhaps,  after  all,  she  is  not 
happy  with  him." 

''Oh,  but  I  know  they  're  happy,"  exclaimed 
Joy,  and  then  for  the  first  time  a  curious  doubt 
came  into  her  mind.  Were  they,  after  all,  so 
happy?  She  had  both  their  words  for  it.  Owen 
had  said,  "Of  course  ours  is  the  ideal  marriage," 
and  Julia  had  said,  "I  am  the  luckiest  woman  in 
the  world."  They  were  undoubtedly  in  love. 
Could  people  be  unhappy  and  yet  in  love  if  they 
were  married? 

The  Ransomes  were  secure,  good  people  with 
regular  habits,  blessed  by  twins,  and  respected  by 
the  world  around  them.  These  landmarks  in  a 
changing  universe  surely  never  deceived. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  145 

**I  don't  quite  see,"  Mrs.  Featherstone  observed 
thoughtfully,  **how  Julia  came  to  fall  off  the  roof. 
She  was  always  so  sure-footed." 

Joy  laughed  aloud  at  this. 

**0h,  come,  Mummy  darling,"  she  said,  "you 
don't  really  think  Owen  pushed  her  off  the  roof, 
do  you?" 

Mrs.  Featherstone  shook  her  head.  She  smiled, 
too ;  but  she  did  not  say  what  else  she  had  thought. 
She  only  ended  by  agreeing  rather  reluctantly  that 
Joy  should  go  to  Julia  for  a  few  weeks.  She 
would  not  have  given  her  consent  at  all  if  she  had 
not  known  that  Nicolas  and  Maude  were  to  re- 
turn in  a  few  days'  time.  Even  though  she  had 
just  said  that  nothing  further  could  be  said  about 
Nicolas,  once  he  was  married,  she  realized  that  it 
was  better  Joy  should  not  be  exposed  to  seeing 
the  final  certainty  too  vividly  presented  to  her  until 
habit  had  made  the  situation  easier  all  round. 

Mrs.  Featherstone  had  never  mentioned  the 
subject  to  Joy,  but  it  is  probable  that  she  knew  all 
there,  was  to  know.  She  had  been  annoyed  by 
Julia's  letter,  but  she  had  not  been  startled.  She 
put  her  hand  rather  shyly  on  Joy's  shoulder  as 
she  watched  her  turn  to  leave  the  room. 

"My  dear,"  she  said,  "I  don't  want  to  bother 


146  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

you,  but  one  cannot  live  to  my  age  and  not  know 
a  little  about  life.  Perhaps  it  would  be  a  com- 
fort to  you  to  know  that  things  that  happen,  how- 
ever painful  they  are  at  the  time,  do  not  matter 
very  much  for  long.  Only  how  we  behave  to 
them  matters.  That  matters  very  much  indeed, 
and  it  lasts  always." 

Joy  would  have  liked  to  say:  "O  mother,  but 
Nick  is  n't  like  that.  He  minds  without  stopping." 
For  the  only  thing  Joy  felt  really  unbearable  was 
Nick's  tears.  But  before  she  had  time  to  say  his 
name,  Mrs.  Featherstone  had  pushed  her  very 
gently  from  the  room.  She  did  not  want  to  hear 
his  name  even  uttered.  Nicolas  was  Maude's 
business  now,  and  silence  would  teach  Joy  quick- 
est that  Nicolas  was  Maude's  business. 


IT  was  late  in  the  afternoon  of  a  dull  October 
day  when  Joy  returned  to  Pollards.  It  had 
been  raining  for  some  time,  and  the  air  was  full 
of  the  earthy  smell  of  wet  leaves.  The  dark  clouds 
banked  high  over  the  brown,  sodden  foliage  and 
the  chill  wind  that  blew  against  her  face  gave  her 
a  feeling  of  something  sinister  and  disheartening. 
The  long  terrace,  immaculately  cleared  from 
leaves,  looked  stale  and  empty.  Pots  of  chrysan- 
themums and  asters  in  their  stiff  rows  had  a 
frightened,  apologetic  air,  as  if  they  were  guests 
invited  at  the  last  moment  to  take  the  place  of 
chosen  friends.  Pollards  was  not  a  house  which 
could  sink  softly  under  a  load  of  creepers;  It  stood 
big  and  bald,  staring  out  flatly  across  its  empty 
garden  beds. 

Joy  felt,  looking  around  her  uncertainly  in  the 
gathering  dusk,  as  if  the  house  had  no  inner  life 
in  It.  It  was  strange  that  Owen,  who  so  under- 
stood Intimacy,  should  have  bought  a  "residence" 

and  not  a  "house" ;  or  was  it  perhaps  Julia  who 

147 


148  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

had  so  wholly  failed  to  transform  it  into  what  it 
should  have  been? 

Joy  suddenly  became  aware  that  the  terrace 
was  no  longer  empty.  A  figure  was  advancing 
toward  her  whom  she  mistook  for  a  moment  for 
Julia  until  she  remembered  that  Julia  could  not 
walk.  It  was  a  much  smaller  figure  than  Julia's, 
but  it  advanced  upon  Joy  with  all  the  decision  of 
a  hostess. 

"You  're  Miss  Featherstone,"  the  young  per- 
son asserted  in  a  clipped,  familiar  tone.  '*Do  come 
in  and  have  some  tea  before  you  go  up  to  Mrs. 
Ransome.  I  'm  Nina  MuUory,  Owen  Ransome's 
secretary." 

Miss  MuUory  was  different  from  any  one  Joy 
had  ever  seen  before.  She  had  an  air  of  more 
decision  and  less  grace.  She  wore  a  provocative 
cherry-colored  hat  drawn  rather  markedly  over 
one  eye;  her  dress  had  those  accentuated  points 
of  fashion  which  catch  and  haunt  the  attention 
without  pleasing  it.  Her  small,  tip-tilted  face  was 
accentuated,  too.  Joy  thought  that  Miss  Mul- 
lory  had  very  red  lips  for  cheeks  that  managed 
to  be  so  unnaturally  white,  and  there  was  some- 
thing odd  about  her  eyebrows,  as  if  they  might 
have  belonged  more  reasonably  to  a  different  face. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


149 


But  it  struck  Joy  even  more  that  though  Miss 
MuUory  was  obviously  young,  she  had  none  of  the 
disabilities  of  youth.  It  was  in  Joy  that  these  dis- 
abilities instantly  appeared.  She  felt  aware  that 
she  had  never  been  so  shy  before ;  it  was  as  if  she 
had  to  be  shyer  than  usual  to  make  up  for  the 
aggressive  ease  of  Miss  MuUory.    Joy  wanted  to 


"Miss  Mullory  sat  down  immediately'* 

go  to  Julia  at  once,  but  she  could  n't  make  up  her 
mind  to  say  so.  She  stood  there  tentative  and 
helpless  while  Miss  Mullory  gave  rather  sharp 
orders  as  to  what  was  to  be  done  with  her  boxes. 

**It  's  beastly  damp,"  Miss  Mullory  observed 
over  her  shoulder  to  Joy,  with  some  impatience. 
"Do  come  in." 

Joy  followed  her  submissively  into  the  library. 
It  was  full  of  cigarette  smoke,  and  there  were 


150  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

a  good  many  things  lying  about.  It  did  not  look 
like  one  of  Julia's  rooms. 

Miss  Mullory  sat  down  immediately,  with  her 
legs  crossed,  and  lit  another  cigarette;  above  it 
she  deliberately  studied  Joy's  appearance  with- 
out concealment  or  friendliness.  She  might  have 
been  fingering  a  remnant  in  a  sale  that  she  con- 
sidered over-priced.  Behind  Miss  MuUory's 
bright,  expressionless  eyes  her  thoughts  were 
busy. 

''Of  course  she  is  pretty,"  Miss  Mullory  ad- 
mitted to  herself,  reluctantly,  ''but  she  does  n't 
know  what  to  do  with  It.  Look  at  her  clothes 
and  the  way  she  lets  her  head  hang.  It 's  aston- 
ishing If  her  color  's  real;  but  It  must  be,  I  sup- 
pose. She  has  n't  the  sense  to  put  it  on  so  well  if 
it  Is  n't.  It 's  a  bore  she  's  here,  but  I  don't  think 
it  '11  really  matter." 

She  signed  to  the  butler  to  place  the  tray  in 
front  of  her  and  poured  out  tea.;  The  butler  gave 
a  pleading  look  In  Joy's  direction,  but  the  crisis 
had  passed  before  It  occurred  to  Joy  that,  after 
all,  as  Julia's  most  Intimate  friend  it  was  she  who 
should  have  poured  out  tea. 

*'How  is  Mrs.   Ransome?"  Joy  asked  softly. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  151 

She  wanted  with  a  curious  urgency  to  bring  Julia 
back  into  the  room. 

**Oh,  I  suppose  she  's  getting  on  all  right,"  Miss 
MuUory  replied,  surveying  her  neat  foot,  im- 
patiently.    *  We  'd  have  heard  if  she  was  n't." 

Joy  looked  at  her  in  a  puzzled  way.  Who  were 
"we"?  Do  secretaries  identify  themselves  so  in- 
tensely with  their  employers  ?  But  of  course  Miss 
MuUory  couldn't  mean  Owen,  because  Owen 
would  always  know  how  Julia  was.  Perhaps 
Owen  had  two  secretaries ;  but  Joy  almost  hoped 
he  hadn't.     One  secretary  seemed  enough. 

'*Owen  won't  be  back,"  Miss  MuUory  volun- 
teered, "till  to-morrow.  He  's  off  up  in  town. 
It 's  beastly  dull  down  here  when  he  's  away.  I 
don't  know  what  to  do  with  myself.  I  can't  have 
my  own  friends  down  here,  and  I  can't  go  off 
anywhere  else,  or  he  'd  come  back  and  want  me." 

"I  did  not  know  he  was  so  busy,"  said  Joy, 
politely.  "Of  course  It  must  make  It  very  dif- 
ficult." 

Miss  MuUory  regarded  her  in  a  most  peculiar 
way,  as  if  there  was  a  joke  In  the  air  which  Joy 
had  been  a  little  too  slow  to  catch. 

"It  might  be  worse,"  she  said,  with  a  laughs 
"Don't  you  think  he  's  awfully  nice?" 


152  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Joy  put  down  her  tea-cup.  She  was  very  shy, 
but  she  was  not  timid,  and  she  knew  that  she  did 
not  intend  to  discuss  Owen  with  Miss  MuUory. 

"His  wife  is  my  greatest  friend/'  she  said 
quietly.  "I  think  I  have  taken  for  granted  that 
he  was  nice." 

"Well,  that 's  a  funny  way  of  looking  at  men," 
said  Miss  MuUory,  defensively.  "I  don't  see 
what  difference  his  wife  can  make,  anyway.  Either 
a  man  's  jolly  or  he  is  n't." 

"I  will  go  up  now  and  see  Mrs.  Ransome,"  said 
Joy.    "Thank  you  so  much  for  giving  me  my  tea." 

The  other  girl  leaned  back  in  her  chair  and 
stared  hard  at  her.  Was  this  a  declaration  of  war 
already?  Did  this  very  countrified  creature,  with- 
out a  sense  of  the  chief  values  of  life,  intend  to 
snub  a  person  who  had  been  so  extremely  success- 
ful in  "picking  up  a  thing  or  two"?  It  almost 
looked  like  it,  for  though  Joy's  voice  was  extraor- 
dinarily gentle  and  she  had  smiled  when  she  spoke, 
she  got  up  quite  decisively  and  left  the  room. 

Miss  MuUory  frowned  at  Joy's  departing  fig- 
ure. There  were  several  important  items  of  in- 
formation which  she  had  intended  to  extract  from 
her  in  their  first  interview,  and  she  had  not  ex- 
tracted them.    She  had  an  uneasy  sense  that  even 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


153 


though  Joy  was  a  fool,  she  was  not  going  to  be 
an  easy  one  to  handle.  She  had  looked  like  a 
child  and  dressed  like  a  child,  but  there  was  in 
the  sudden  steadiness  of  Joy's  eyes  when  she  sus- 
pected impertinence  a  quite  curious  likeness  to 
Julia  Ransome's  eyes,  and  Miss  MuUory  had  al- 
ready met  them  once  too  often. 


?iP^iTO^JTOWWW^^ 


"The  twins  were  having  their  bath'* 

Joy  ran  up  unannounced  to  the  nursery.  The 
twins  were  having  their  bath.  It  was  an  exqui- 
site spectacle.  They  were  sixteen  months  old  now 
and  could  frankly  participate  in,  or  even  more 
frankly  resist,  all  the  processes  of  life.  Baths 
were  the  crowning-point  of  their  day.  Safe  in  ex- 
pert hands,  they  trampled,  crowed,  and  plunged 
in  broad  and  spacious  seas  of  warmth  and  buoy- 


154  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

ancy.  They  drifted  with  the  tide,  they  fought 
convulsively  with  sponges;  soap  threatened  and 
discomfited  them  momentarily,  to  sink  with  a  roar 
into  the  oblivion  of  the  past. 

Pink,  wet,  and  shining,  they  were  at  length  with- 
drawn to  broad  knees  and  scrubbed  with  soft 
towels.  They  waved  their  legs  in  the  air  and 
shrieked  a  few  well-chosen,  but  half-hearted, 
shrieks  to  show  that  they  preferred  the  element 
of  water,  even  though  they  admitted  that  the  ele- 
ment of  earth  was  no  unsound  invention.  Sweet- 
scented  powder  was  sprinkled  over  their  finely 
manipulated  persons.  Refreshed  and  drowsy,  they 
submitted  in  a  kindly  spirit  to  Joy's  embraces, 
and  let  her  carry  them  triumphantly  to  bed. 
Nurse  was  delighted  to  see  Joy  again,  and  gave 
her  the  crowded  history  of  the  twins'  last  two 
months.  It  did  not  strike  Joy  till  afterward  that 
neither  Miss  MuUory  nor  Nurse  had  said  any- 
thing about  Julia's  accident. 

Julia's  room,  immaculately  tidy,  was  very  light 
and  large.  There  was  fresh  air  in  every  corner 
of  It.  Julia,  propped  up  on  an  immense  expanse 
of  white  pillow,  looked  peculiarly  erect  and  fine. 
She  had  always  impressed  Joy  as  a  being  of  inor- 
dinate  daintiness,  like   the  very  finest  Dresden 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  155 

china  or  the  most  carefully  drawn  and  delicate  old 
lace.  There  are  beauties  who  could  be  planted 
and  shine  equally  in  any  class  of  life,  but  Julia's 
beauty  was  singularly  select.  She  could  have  been 
found  only  in  an  old  and  privileged  order;  the 
cut  of  her  nostrils,  the  chiseled  lids  of  her  clear, 
line  eyes,  had  as  unmistakable  a  look  of  breeding 
as  the  careful  points  of  a  race-horse. 

She  looked  as  frail  as  a  flower,  but  she  was  In 
reality  intensely  strong.  Nothing  could  change 
Julia;  certainly  falling  off  a  house  hadn't.  Her 
eyes  lit  with  pleasure  as  they  rested  on  Joy,  and 
then  a  curious  shadow  passed  over  her  face  again, 
as  if  even  over  her  pleasure  in  Joy  she  had  to  set 
a  guard. 

"My  dear,"  she  cried  out  gaily,  **ring  for  tea. 
You  must  be  dead  after  that  abysmal  journey." 

"No,"  said  Joy;  "I  had  my  tea  down-stairs, 
thanks.    A  Miss  MuUory  gave  it  to  me." 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  Julia,  indifferently;  "Owen's 
new  secretary.  I  am  glad  she  had  the  sense.  What 
did  you  think  of  her?" 

Joy  sat  down  close  to  the  bed.  She  looked  very 
steadily  at  Julia.  Her  beauty  was  unchanged,  but 
it  seemed  to  Joy  as  if  a  touch  of  something  cold 
and  hard,  like  frost,  had  been  passed  over  it.    She 


156  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

felt  as  she  had  felt  when  the  wind  had  met  her  on 
the  terrace,  as  if  there  was  the  chill  of  something 
cruel  in  the  air. 

**I  don't  think,"  she  said  consideringly,  "I  have 
ever  seen  a  secretary  before." 

Julia  laughed. 

"My  dear,"  she  said,  "you  speak  as  if  we  had 
introduced  you  to  a  mastodon.  There  are  a  great 
many  secretaries,  but  I  am  told  they  differ.  You 
are  at  liberty  to  dislike  this  one,  I  believe,  but 
not  before  Owen.  Owen's  secretaries  have  sev- 
eral stages.  They  arrive,  they  are  angels,  they 
develop  habits  and  become  human,  they  find  Owen 
has  no  habits,  raise  their  wings,  and  are  no  more 
seen.  Mercifully,  I  am  spared  the  stages  of  this 
one.    I  'm  to  stay  in  bed,  they  tell  me,  for  ages." 

"How  are  you  really,  Julia?"  Joy  asked  anx- 
iously. "You  can't  be  as  well  as  you  look.  Tell 
me  the  truth;  have  you  been  awfully  bad?" 

"Never,"  said  Julia,  lightly.  "Nothing  in  the 
world  is  more  satisfactory  than  a  broken  leg. 
Everybody  believes  in  it.  There  it  is,  you  see,  a 
presentable  handicap,  perfectly  easy  to  explain. 
Toor  thing,  she  's  broken  her  leg!'  I  rather  like 
that  type  of  sympathy.  If  people  said,  Toor 
thing,  what  she  's  really  suffering  from  is  a  broken 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  157 

nose,' — the  kind,  you  know,  put  out  of  joint  by 
the  attractions  of  others, — well,  then  one  would 
resent  it,  wouldn't  one?  But  if  there  is  such  a 
thing  as  pure  pity,  I  am  sure  it  is  reserved  for 
broken  legs.  Mine  is  healing  as  rapidly  as  it  can 
heal.    I  sha'n't  even  be  lame." 

There  was  no  mystery  about  it,  and  yet  Joy 
felt  a  curious  reluctance  to  asking  Julia  how  it 
happened. 

'Tou  've  seen  the  twins,  of  course?"  Julia  asked 
lightly.  *'You  love  me,  my  dear,  but  you  'd  see 
me  hanged,  drawn,  and  quartered  before  you  'd 
let  the  twins  suffer  from  a  crumpled  rose-leaf,  now, 
would  n't  you  ?  It 's  curious,  your  passion  for  ma- 
ternity. I  remember  when  you  were  a  tiny  girl, 
you  took  nine  dolls  to  bed  with  you  and  lay  on 
the  edge  yourself.  When  the  inevitable  happened, 
it  was  always  you  that  fell  out." 

^'They're  so  helpless,"  Joy  pleaded.  "You 
can't  do  too  much  for  babies." 

'*Grown-up  people  can  be  helpless,  too,"  said 
Julia,  *'but  not,  I  grant,  so  attractively.  Besides, 
no  doubt  they  ought  to  have  managed  better. 
Helplessness  in  an  adult  shows  a  muddled  mind." 

Joy  was  n't  quite  sure  what  Julia  meant.  Julia 
had  always  been  so  wonderfully  clever  and  witty 


158  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

that  every  one  admired  her,  even  in  London.  It 
was  rumored  that  a  duke  had  proposed  to  Julia, 
and  it  was  always  a  miracle  to  Joy  why  Julia 
should  allow  her  to  be  her  friend.  But  perhaps 
when  you  're  very  clever  and  witty  you  still  like 
to  be  loved,  and  Joy  knew  that  nobody  except 
Owen  could  love  Julia  with  so  deep  and  unchang- 
ing a  love  as  hers. 

**Why  must  Owen  have  a  secretary  In  the 
house?''  Joy  asked  suddenly.  '*He  never  did  be- 
fore. I  thought  secretaries  were  generally  in  of- 
fices in  London." 

Julia's  eyes  grew  a  little  fixed  for  a  moment  be- 
fore she  answered,  then  she  said: 

*'Owen  's  been  so  nice  about  not  leaving  me 
since  my  accident.  He  had  to  go  to  town  yester- 
day for  the  first  time,  but  he  '11  be  back  to-morrow. 
He  's  done  his  work  here  instead.  I  miss  him 
absurdly  even  for  a  day.  It 's  a  pity  I  don't  go 
in  more  for  adoring  my  babies,  as  you  do.  It 's 
an  occupation,  is  n't  it?  And  it  gives  one  another 
string  to  one's  bow.  You  ought  to  hurry  up  and 
get  a  few  of  your  own,  you  know,  Joy." 

Joy  shook  her  head. 

*'Maude  thinks,"  she  observed,  **that  I  'm  not 
a  marrying  woman." 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  159 

*That  's  rather  neat  of  Maude,"  said  Julia, 
"after  she  's  nipped  off  with  your  man." 

**0h,  but  he  was  n't — ^you  must  n't,"  Joy  cried 
out  suddenly.  *'If  he  had  been,  Maude  would 
never  have  looked  at  him,  and  I — I  would  never 
have  let  him  go." 

Julia  looked  at  her  thoughtfully  for  a  moment, 
then  she  said :  "I  'm  rather  a  brute,  I  know,  but  I 
had  to  say  that.  I  won't  bother  you  any  more 
about  poor  old  Nick.  I  've  asked  you  here,  my 
dear,  to  take  over  my  household.  I  shall  be  laid 
up  for  three  months.  You  must  take  care  of 
Owen  for  me  and  keep  the  little  what-you-may- 
call-' em  in  her  place.  She  's  quite  inconsiderable, 
really,  but  I  should  never  forgive  myself  if — I 
mean,  you  must  have  all  your  wits  about  you,  Joy. 
You  're  the  best  child  in  the  world,  but  tell  me 
frankly,  have  you  any  wits?" 

Joy  considered  the  question  seriously. 

**How  do  you  mean,  wits?"  she  asked.  **I  can 
run  a  house — I  have  for  mother  when  she  's  been 
away — and  I  can  manage  servants.  Is  that  what 
you  meant?" 

**No,"  said  Julia,  still  watching  her  carefully, 
"not  altogether — servants." 

"If  you  mean  Miss  MuUory,"  said  Joy,  "I  was 


i6o  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

a  little  afraid  of  her  just  at  first;  but  I  think  I 
sha'n't  be.  Poor  thing,  she  has  n't  any  manners, 
has  she?  So  one  has  to  be  rather  afraid  for  her. 
She  might  so  easily  make  quite  bad  mistakes." 

"She  might,"  said  Julia,  with  a  queer  little 
smile,  *'and  I  can't  say  I  should  be  inconsolable  if 
she  did.  But  men,  my  dear — have  you  thought 
very  much  about  how  to  manage  men  ?  I  suppose 
they  are  n't  all  blind  in  Lynton,  are  they?  Or  did 
Nick  scare  them  away?" 

'1  don't  think  I  have  thought  particularly,"  Joy 
confessed.  "You  see,  at  home  men  are  n't  just 
men ;  they  're  people  one  's  known  awfully  well  all 
one's  life.  The  men  here  won't  be  so  very  dif- 
ferent, will  they?  And  I  shall  have  Owen  to  help 
me.  I  don't  find  Owen  a  bit  difficult  to  talk  to; 
he  's  always  been  so  kind  to  me.  I  think  he  must 
know  how  much  I  love  you,  Julia." 

Julia  said  nothing  for  a  moment,  and  then  she 
said  in  a  much  softer  voice : 

"I  remember  how  much  you  used  to  love  me, 
Joy;  but  since  my  marriage  do  you  think  I  have 
been  altogether  the  same?" 

"I  don't  know  that  you  have,"  said  Joy,  frank- 
ly.    "You  've  had  so  many  other  things  to  think 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  i6i 

about,  haven't  you?  But,  Julia,  I  haven't  had 
the  other  things;  I  've  always  been  the  same." 

Julia  had  stopped  smiling  now;  she  looked  very 
grave.  Joy  wondered  if,  after  all,  she  was  n't  in 
physical  pain.  She  knew  so  well  the  pinched  look 
of  acute  suffering,  and  for  a  moment,  only  for  a 
moment,  she  saw  it  in  Julia's  face.  Then  Julia 
said  as  serenely  as  usual : 

"No,  I  don't  think  you  have  changed.  That 's 
why  I  sent  for  you,  but  I  'm  not  at  all  sure  it  was 
fair.    You  may  find  it  a  difficult  situation." 

Joy  did  n't  say  anything  to  this,  because  Mrs. 
Featherstone  had  brought  her  up  to  believe  that 
people  were  meant  to  face  difficult  situations.  Joy 
thought  that  the  best  way  to  do  was  to  wait  until 
it  came,  and  then  not  to  think  too  much  about 
the  difficulties.  There  was  generally  some  situa- 
tion left,  and  you  could  put  the  difficulties  aside 
and  work  on  that.  Besides,  even  if  Julia  was  up- 
stairs, Owen  would  be  there  to  help  her. 


XI 

IT  was  an  immense  relief  to  Owen  that  Joy  did 
not  know.  He  saw  in  her  confident,  innocent 
eyes  nothing  but  her  friendliness.  It  was  a  per- 
fect evening,  still  and  warm,  as  if  the  last  retreat 
of  summer  had  found  a  momentary  security.  The 
late  leaves  hung  brittle  and  expectant  against  the 
pressure  of  the  air. 

Owen  found  Joy  on  the  terrace.  She  was  hat- 
less,  and  he  noticed  with  delight  the  way  her  hair 
grew  low  on  the  nape  of  her  neck.  Her  curls 
were  the  color  of  buttercups,  little  wisps  and  ten- 
drils as  soft  as  silk  and  like  the  crook  of  a  baby's 
finger  pressed  against  her  white  and  flawless  skin. 
Everything  about  Joy  reminded  Owen  of  the 
country — ^her  sweetness,  her  simplicity,  the  unar- 
ranged  and  sudden  way  in  which  she  caught  his 
heart  with  her  beauty.  It  was  strange  that  Julia 
should  have  overlooked  so  terrible  a  weapon.  He 
felt  extraordinarily  revived  and  comforted  as  he 
walked  to  and  fro  listening  to  Joy's  gay  stories  of 

the  twins,  the  wonderful  things  they  performed  so 

162 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


163 


easily  now,  and  the  even  more  wonderful  mean- 
ings she  and  Nurse  attached  to  their  performances. 
What  had  happened  while  Joy  was  away  seemed 
like  some  melodramatic  and  bad-tempered  dream, 
although  It  was  not  quite  a  dream.    He  reminded 


"ETerything  about  Joy  reminded  Owen  of  the  country" 

himself,  with  an  esthetic  sense  of  the  pleasure  of 
contrast,  that  behind  him  in  the  house  there  were 
two  other  women  who  had  taken  part  in  his 
dream  and  known  it  for  reality,  Nina  MuUory 
was  in  the  library,  and  could  see  them  as  they 
passed  in  front  of  the  long  French  windows.  Owen 
imagined  her  feelings  with  amusement.  She  would 


1 64  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

be  standing  looking  out  at  them,  her  bad,  small 
temper  roused,  like  that  of  a  dismayed  kitten 
hunching  up  its  back.  His  amusement  ceased  as 
he  thought  of  the  other  woman  up-stairs,  who 
would  never  again  give  him  the  satisfaction  of 
her  emotions.  She  lay  there  with  her  impassive, 
frosty  beauty  utterly  beyond  his  reach. 

Joy  was  talking  of  Julia  now,  with  deep  praise 
of  her  in  her  voice,  counting  serenely  upon  the 
cooperation  of  her  listener. 

**I  think  Julia  is  the  bravest  woman  in  the 
world,"  Joy  said  with  conviction. 

**I  am  very  sure  of  it,"  agreed  Owen,  with  a 
laugh.  "For  sheer  stand-up,  knock-you-down 
courage  she  has  n't  an  equal.  She  does  n't  under- 
stand fear.  But  do  you  know,  Joy,  I  think  it  is 
easier  for  other  people  If  you  do." 

Joy  hesitated  to  admit  that  Julia  had  any  qual- 
ity which  would  make  difficulties  for  other  people, 
but  she  saw  what  Owen  meant. 

**Only  in  a  way,"  she  protested;  '*it  much  more 
braces  you  into  being  brave  yourself.  You  could  n't 
let  her  down." 

"But  if  you  were  down,"  Owen  persisted,  "she 
couldn't  let  you  up.     D' you  see  what  I  mean? 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  165 

She  has  n't  got  any  margin  of  mercy  for  other 
people's  funk." 

Joy  laughed  her  happy,  easy  laughter.  She  did 
not  know  how  many  occasions  life  gives  for  cour- 
age, nor  how  ominous  is  the  failure  of  human 
beings  to  meet  them. 

''Well,"  she  said,  "you  needn't  worry  much 
about  courage,  need  you?" 

The  French  windows  swung  open  impatiently, 
and  Nina  MuUory  joined  them.  Owen  glanced 
from  one  woman  to  the  other;  but  as  his  eyes 
rested  on  each  in  turn,  he  thought  that  he  was 
looking  from  a  woman  to  a  child.  He  was  struck 
with  Joy's  light-hearted,  untarnished  youth;  and 
yet  Nina  MuUory  was  as  young. 

"You  might  have  told  me,"  said  Nina,  crossly, 
"that  you  were  coming  out  here.  It 's  beastly  be- 
ing cooped  up  in  the  house  all  by  oneself." 

"My  dear  girl,"  said  Owen,  "the  world  is  free, 
and  this  garden  very  particularly  at  your  service." 

He  was  very  nice  to  Nina,  Joy  thought.  She 
did  not  realize  that  good  humor  is  often  the  easi- 
est way  of  evading  a  diiRculty.  Owen  was  always 
nice.  He  sank  into  niceness  as  if  it  were  a  cushion 
and  he  had  rather  a  weak  back. 

"I  thought,"  said  Nina,  aggressively,  turning 


1 66  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

to  Joy,  **that  you  always  sat  with  Mrs.  Ransome 
at  this  hour." 

**Nina,  Nina,"  Owen  murmured  softly.  Aloud 
he  said:  'Tou  don't  grasp  Miss  Featherstone's 
tact.  She  expected  me  to  go  up  to  my  wife,  and 
didn't  wish  to  forestall  me;  she  was  perfectly 
right.  I  '11  leave  you  to  enjoy  this  jolly  bit  of 
summer  together." 

Nina  tossed  her  head,  and  said  something  about 
his  being  dreadfully  tiresome;  but  she  couldn't 
keep  him.  She  had  been  tiresome  herself,  and 
Owen  never  stayed  with  women  who  became  tire- 
some. 

**He  can't  be  going  up  to  her,"  Nina  exclaimed 
as  Owen  disappeared  into  the  house.  She  spoke 
as  if  the  idea  positively  shocked  her.  "I  can't 
think  what  game  he  's  up  to." 

Joy  looked  at  her  in  astonishment. 

"He  is  n't  up  to  any  game,"  she  said  a  little 
indignantly;  ^'naturally  he  wishes  to  spend  all  his 
spare  time  with  Julia."  Miss  MuUory  stared  at 
her.  There  was  something  in  the  quality  of  her 
stare  that  abruptly  changed  under  the  answering 
bewildered  glance  of  Joy.  It  was  as  if  Nina  had 
meant  to  be  insolent  and  suddenly  felt  a  twinge 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  167 

of  compassion.  If  Joy  was  really  bewildered, 
there  was  nothing  to  be  insolent  about. 

**You  know  Mrs.  Ransome  awfully  well,  don't 
you?"  asked  Nina,  curiously.  ^'Really,  awfully 
well?" 

''Of  course  I  do,"  said  Joy;  ''she  is  my  best 
friend." 

"Well,  it 's  odd,"  said  Miss  MuUory,  dispas- 
sionately. "Why  do  you  think  she  fell  off  the 
roof  of  the  house?" 

Joy  drew  in  her  breath  suddenly  at  this  ques- 
tion and  looked  up  at  the  roof. 

"Why?"  she  repeated  hesitatingly.  Surely 
Nina  knew  the  story  of  the  accident? 

The  light  had  begun  to  wane.  The  house  looked 
startlingly  big  and  blank,  and  the  roof  a  very 
long  way  off.  Joy  was  struck  as  she  had  been  on 
her  first  arrival  with  its  blankness.  It  was  a  house 
that  looked  as  if  it  had  never  had,  and  would 
never  have,  any  history. 

"She  went  up  there,"  Joy  continued  obediently, 
"to  see  if  one  of  the  pipes  was  n't  blocked,  and 
she  slipped  on  a  dead  leaf  and  fell." 

Nina  said  nothing  for  a  moment.  Her  eyes, 
too,  ran  over  the  massive,  slanting  roof,  but  with- 
out speculation. 


i68 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


"She  feU  all  right,"  she  said  a  little  drily,  "and 
God  knows  why  she  did  n't  break  her  neck  instead 
of  her  leg.  She  came  down  there  by  the  bushes 
under  the  library  window.  I  suppose  they  must 
have  eased  her  fall.  Nobody  saw  her,  you  know, 
or  heard  her;  she  didn't  cry  out.     A  gardener 


'A  gardener  found  her  lying  in  a  little  heap" 


found  her  lying  in  a  little  heap  ages  after  it  must 
have  happened." 

Joy  shuddered.  It  was  the  first  time  she  had 
heard  the  details  of  Julia's  accident.  Some  instinct 
in  her,  profound  and  compulsory,  had  stopped 
her  asking  questions. 

"And  Owen?"  she  breathed  as  Nina  paused. 

"The  gardener  shouted,"  Nina  went  on,  un- 
moved.    "We  were  sitting  in  the  library.    I  sup- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  169 

pose  the  shutters  were  shut,  for  I  can't  remember 
hearing  anything  fall.  When  the  gardener  called 
out,  Owen  ran  and  found  her.  He  knew  she  was 
alive  because  she  moved,  but  I  don't  believe  she 
said  anything.  I  saw  her  being  carried  in.  Her 
eyes  were  wide  open,  like  a  sleepwalker's,  and  her 
lips  shut  tight.  She  looked  as  cool  as  a  cucum- 
ber." 

*'But  if  she  was  conscious  at  all  she  would  have 
cried  out,"  Joy  exclaimed.  '*She  would  have 
called  for  Owen." 

Nina  Mullory  shook  her  head. 

*'She  did  n't,"  she  observed,  with  finality,  '*make 
any  sound  from  start  to  finish." 

Joy  was  silent.  She  tried  to  think  of  all  she 
had  ever  heard  about  accidents  and  the  effect  of 
falls,  and  she  tried  not  to  think  how  curious  it 
was  that  Nina  did  n't  seem  to  care.  She  was 
trying  to  make  some  impression  upon  Joy,  but  not 
that  of  sympathy. 

'*If  you  were  to  go  up  there  now,"  Nina  pur- 
sued after  a  long  pause,  **I  bet  you  anything  you 
like  you  'd  not  find  Owen  there." 

Joy  turned  on  her  in  a  flash  of  anger. 

*'What  do  you  mean?"  she  asked.  'What  are 
you  trying  to  make  me  believe?    That  Mr.  Ran- 


170  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

some  does  n't  love  his  wife  ?  It  ^s  nonsense.  I  Ve 
known  them  for  years;  I  know  all  about  them. 
Why,  you  Ve  hardly  seen  Julia !" 

Miss  MuUory  stepped  back  as  if  she  was 
alarmed  by  the  whirlwind  she  had  raised  so  sud- 
denly out  of  perfect  calm. 

*'I  have  seen  her,"  she  said  doggedly,  "once. 
That 's  enough  for  me,  and  for  her,  too,  I  expect. 
I  won't  tell  you  any  more.  You  can  find  out  for 
yourself." 

**You  had  much  better  not  tell  me  anything," 
said  Joy,  indignantly,  *^if  what  you  have  to  say  is 
against  my  friends,  for  I  simply  should  n't  believe 
it." 

Nina  laughed.  It  was  a  contemptuous,  signifi- 
cant laugh.  It  seemed  to  dismiss  the  whole  ques- 
tion of  Joy's  indignation  as  if  it  was  as  unimpor- 
tant as  an  ignorant  child's.  It  was  the  sharpest 
retort  she  sould  have  made,  and  the  most  wound- 
ing. She  went  into  the  house  after  she  had  made 
it,  leaving  Joy  alone. 

Joy  had  a  curious  stifled  feeling,  as  If  there 
was  n't  enough  air  to  breathe.  She  did  n't  be- 
lieve Nina;  she  could  n't  believe  Nina.  The  sense 
of  Julia's  love  for  Owen  rested  In  her  heart  pro- 
foundly.   Her  friend's  love  was  part  of  her  life; 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  171 

half  her  renewed  and  liberated  happiness  was  be- 
cause she  was  with  them,  sharing  the  immensity 
of  their  gift.  The  quiet,  prosperous  garden  was 
suddenly  menaced  by  something  strange  that 
shook  her  spirit.  The  light  lingered  thin  and 
ghostly  on  the  yellowing  leaves,  as  tentative  and 
insecure  as  human  thought. 

What  could  she  know  of  these  two  lives  so 
close  to  her  heart,  and  closer  to  each  other's? 
The  whole  material  world  denied  all  knowledge 
of  what  went  on  behind  it.  She  saw  and  loved, 
.  and  knew  nothing.  There  was  only  one  thing 
left  she  could  do:  she  could  at  least  prove  to  her- 
self that  Owen  was  with  Julia. 

She  hurried  breathlessly  into  the  house  and  up 
the  wide,  shallow  stairs.  She  never  forgot  the 
sweet,  keen  smell  of  roses  which  filled  the  hall. 
Julia  had  made  pot-pourri,  fresh  and  strong,  and 
placed  it  in  Chinese  vases  underneath  the  stairs. 

Joy  stopped  for  a  moment  outside  Julia's  door, 
with  her  heart  beating  loudly  in  her  ears.  There 
was  no  other  sound.  She  knocked,  and  heard 
Julia's  clear,  unhesitating  voice  telling  her  to  come 
in.  The  vast,  bright  room,  all  polish  and  shin- 
ing, flowered  cretonnes,  seemed  to  her  the  empti- 
est place  in  the  world.    Julia  lay  serenely  on  her 


172  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

high,  white  bed  by  the  open  window,  dressed  in 
a  delicate-green  dressing-gown  the  color  of  the 
sea.  She  was  never  idle,  and  she  hardly  glanced 
up  from  an  intricate  piece  of  embroidery  she  was 
at  work  upon  as  Joy  came  toward  her. 

Julia  was  not  expecting  any  one,  and  she  was 
quite  alone« 


XII 

JOY  did  not  dislike  Miss  MuUory  any  more. 
It  was  quite  impossible  for  her  to  dislike  any 
one  who  had  not  a  home  of  her  own,  and  she  had 
found  out  that  Nina  lived  in  a  hostel.  She  sat 
at  Miss  MuUory's  feet  by  the  library  fire  and 
heard  all  about  the  life  of  hostels. 

But  Nina  had  now  had  glimpses  into  a  life 
which  seemed  built  for  a  pleasure  beyond  the  tem- 
porary one  of  getting  the  better  of  somebody  else. 
She  said  to  Joy  with  a  sudden  outbreak  of  wist- 
f  ulness : 

"You  can't  think  how  I  like  this  bath  here, 
enough  hot  water  always,  and  good  firm  soap,  and 
never  having  to  do  things  for  yourself,  or  sleep 
in  sheets  that  look  gray.  I  couldn't  believe  it 
when  I  first  came  here,  and  nobody  snapped  your 
head  off.  It 's  odd  how  things  strike  you.  I  was 
brought  up  in  the  country,  and  when  Owen  took 
me  down  here,  I  thought  this  house  was  like  a 
bunch  of  mignonette." 

Joy  nodded. 

173 


174  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

"It  is  like  that,"  she  said.  "It 's  Julia,  you 
know;  everything  she  touches  is  clean  and  sweet." 

"Oh,  no,"  said  Miss  Mullory,  impatiently;  "it 's 
not  Mrs.  Ransome  and  it 's  not  Owen.  It 's 
money,  and  don't  you  forget  it.  You  can't  be 
what  you  'd  like  when  you  're  poor.  Unless  you 
keep  as  dull  as  ditch-water,  you  can't  even  be 
what  you  ought.  I  'd  have  liked  to  be  like  other 
girls  myself,  the  kind  that  can  take  their  fun  with- 
out paying  for  it.  But  you  can't  if  you  're  poor; 
you  've  got  to  choose.  Either  you  pay  for  it  or 
you  do  without  it,  and  I  'm  not  the  sort  that  does 
without." 

Nina  met  Joy's  eyes  defiantly,  but  there  was 
nothing  in  Joy's  expression  on  which  to  feed  her 
defiance.  Joy  was  not  sure  what  Miss  Mullory 
meant  either  by  her  fun  or  by  paying  for  it,  but 
she  was  quite  sure  what  Nina  felt:  she  felt  at  a 
disadvantage.  This  was  what  had  drawn  Joy 
to  her  ever  since  Owen  came  back.  He  had  been 
at  home  three  weeks  now,  and  It  had  been  Joy 
who  contrived  not  to  let  Nina  feel  out  of  things. 
Owen  had  been  so  kind  to  Joy  personally,  so  ex- 
traordinarily kind,  that  he  had  a  little  overlooked 
the  claims  of  his  secretary.  But  Joy  had  n't  over- 
looked them.    She  had  insisted  always  on  Nina's 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  175 

sharing  all  the  delightful  things  they  did  together 
in  Owen's  free  hours,  and  she  had  steadily  refused 
the  most  interesting  conversations  if  they  shut 
Nina  out.  She  thought  that  if  Nina  worked  for 
Owen,  it  was  at  least  only  fair  that  he  should  in 
return  contrive  sometimes  to  let  her  play  with 
him.  From  the  moment  she  was  there  in  the 
house,  one  of  themselves,  she  must  be  one  of 
themselves. 

Joy  had  even  talked  to  Julia  about  it.  Julia 
had  not  been  very  responsive,  but  she  had  agreed 
that  when  you  pay  people  for  their  work,  you  do 
nothing  to  discharge  your  personal  obligation  to 
them  outside  of  it.  She  steadfastly  refused,  how- 
ever, to  allow  Nina  in  her  own  room. 

*'She  is  not,  you  see,"  she  pointed  out  to  Joy, 
''my  obligation." 

In  a  sense  she  was  n't  Joy's,  but  Joy  felt  that 
any  one  who  is  not  quite  happy  had  a  right  to 
be  made  as  happy  as  any  one  else  could  possibly 
make  them. 

'Tou  're  a  queer  sort,"  Miss  MuUory  answered 
after  a  pause.  "You  'd  think  I  'd  hate  you,  but  I 
don't.  I  did  at  first,  of  course;  but  you  're  not 
like  other  girls.  You  don't  know  what 's  what, 
and  that 's  a  fact." 


176  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

"But  why  should  you  hate  me  because  I  'm 
another  girl?"  Joy  objected.  "Isn't  our  being 
the  same  sort  of  person  a  reason  for  liking  me?" 

"My  God!"  said  Miss  MuUory,  using  this 
term  almost  in  awe.  "You  are  a  rum  little  kid  I 
Don't  you  know  we  are  n't  the  same  kind  of  per- 
son?" 

"Well,  of  course,  you  've  had  more  experience 
of  life,"  Joy  acknowledged;  "you  're  cleverer  and 
you  can  work  for  your  living.  But  I  'm  going  to 
do  that  if  I  can  when  I  get  home.  I  think 
mother  '11  let  me.  I  'm  going  to  train  to  work 
among  babies." 

Miss  MuUory  lit  a  cigarette  and  gazed  at  Joy 
for  a  moment  through  the  smoke,  but  she  did  not 
follow  up  this  interesting  branch  of  their  subject.^ 

"I  don't  suppose  you  even  know  you  've  cut 
me  out?"  she  said  slowly  after  a  pause. 

Joy  blushed  furiously. 

"Oh,  but  you  see,"  she  explained  hurriedly,  "I 
am  Julia's  greatest  friend.  She  wrote  and  asked 
me  to  take  care  of  her  house  for  her.  I  really 
could  n't  do  anything  else  even  when  I  found  you 
here." 

"I  did  n't  mean  the  house,"  said  Miss  MuUory, 
significantly. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  177 

Joy  thought  for  a  moment  what  Nina  did  mean, 
and  then  it  suddenly  occurred  to  her  that  perhaps 
Nina  was  thinking  of  Owen.  It  was  a  curious 
way  of  thinking  of  him,  because  he  had  n't  really 
anything  to  do  with  either  of  them. 

**I  don't  really  do  anything  for  Owen,"  she 
said,  hesitating  a  little. 

Miss  MuUory  shut  her  lips  firmly,  as  if  she  had 
determined  to  check  something  that  was  on  the 
tip  of  her  tongue. 

There  was  something  in  the  curly  head  so  close 
to  her  knee  that  absurdly  touched  her.  This  shel- 
tered fairy-like  child,  playing  with  unknown  fires, 
wasn't  like  another  woman;  you  couldn't  get 
at  her  without  saying  something  that  would  be  an 
injury.  If  you  warned  her  at  all,  you  would  be 
exposing  her  to  the  very  danger  she  might  pass 
safely  through  in  the  armor  of  her  innocence.  She 
knew  that  Joy  had  been  kind  to  her,  kinder  than 
any  one  had  ever  been  before,  and  she  shrank 
from  meeting  this  kindness  with  the  harsh  expo- 
sure of  fact^ 

**Miss  Featherstone  dear,"  she  said  a  little 
breathlessly  after  rather  a  long  silence,  "I  wish 
you  'd  do  me  a  favor." 

Joy  looked  up  at  her  quickly. 


178 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


*'0h,  any  favor?"  she  said^  "Only  it  would  n't 
be  one,  I'd  be  so  glad ^^ 

Miss  Mullory  put  her  request  nervously,  witK 
frequent  pauses,  as  if  she  were  picking  her  way 
over  rather  a  hard  bit  of  road. 


•This  sheltered  fairy-like  child,  playing  with  unknown  fires, 
was  n't  like   another   woman'* 


"I  'd  like  to  stay  on,"  she  said,  "even  though 
you  have  put  my  nose  out  of  joint.  It 's  jolly  here, 
and  so  peaceful.  I  Ve  racketed  rather  a  lot  lately, 
and  to  tell  the  honest  truth  I  'm  tired.  I  'm  not 
in  any  hurry  to  go  back;  only,  you  see,  he 's  done 
with  me  now.  I  can  see  he  's  only  waiting  for  a 
chance  to  tell  me  to  pack.  If  you  could  just  say 
something  about  liking  me  to  stop  here,  just  over 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  179 

Christmas,  till  you  go — I  *m  not  in  Mrs.  Ran- 
some's  way,  am  I  now?  And  I  swear  I  would  n't 
get  in  yours.  Besides,  it  would  n't  be  any  good. 
It 's  funny,  I  know,  but  I  'd  like  to  be  here  with 
you." 

**He?  Who?  Do  you  mean  Owen?"  Joy 
asked  in  amazement.  **But  I'  m  sure  he  is  n't 
dreaming  of  your  going.  He  's  far  too  kind  to 
want  to  turn  any  one  out,  and,  besides,  aren't 
you  his  secretary?" 

''Oh,  I  'm  that,  yes,"  said  Miss  MuUory,  with 
a  short  laugh.  ''He  won't  want  to  do  me  out  of 
my  job,  if  that 's  what  you  mean.  I  'm  too  use- 
ful to  him,  but  I  generally  work  at  his  office  in 
town.  What  he  '11  do  is  to  tell  me  to  go  back  to 
the  hostel." 

"I  'm  sure  you  must  be  mistaken,"  said  Joy, 
incredulously.  "But  I  '11  tell  you  what  I  will  do. 
I  '11  get  Julia  to  ask  him.  He  '11  do  anything  in 
the  world  for  Julia." 

"My  hat!"  said  Miss  MuUory,  with  intense 
feeling;  but  she  refused  to  explain  the  relevancy  of 
this  apostrophe  to  her  headgear.  She  merely 
added^  "I  'd  rather  you  'd  do  it  yourself,  please." 

Joy  agreed,  of  course. 

There  was  something  dancing  in  the  air.  Every 


1 80  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

morning  when  she  woke  her  heart  leaped  to  meet 
the  day.  She  knew  it  would  be  full  of  all  the 
things  she  liked  best:  the  twins'  breakfast,  long 
talks  with  Julia  about  home,  and  In  the  afternoon 
wonderful  drives  or  walks  with  Owen.  The  days 
were  crisp,  with  light  frosts  and  sweet  sunshine, 
sharp  In  flavor  like  the  taste  of  an  apple.  They 
flew  past  her  with  that  swift,  unnameable  magic 
which  colors  the  world  to  a  single  heart. 

She  would  always  remember  the  red  sunset 
catching  up  the  orchard  and  making  all  the  apples 
shine  like  fairy  gold,  and  Owen  leaning  over  a 
gate  beside  her  and  telling  her  about  his  school- 
days. It  shot  through  her  mind,  while  she  lis- 
tened eagerly,  that  Nick  long  ago  in  the  Doone 
Valley  had  told  her  of  his  school-days,  too,  only 
it  had  been  different  then.  She  had  not  known 
how  to  listen  to  his  confidences,  and  they  had  hurt 
her  a  little,  because  he  was  so  hard  in  his  young 
sense  of  right.  He  had  none  of  Owen's  delicate, 
tolerant  humor.  She  remembered  how  fierce  Nick 
had  been  about  that  one  bad  boy,  the  boy  whom 
everybody  liked,  and  who  had  gone,  so  Nick  had 
said,  through  the  house  like  rat  poison.  She  had 
been  so  sorry  for  that  bad  and  nameless  boy  that 
she  had  prayed  about  him  for  many  years.    Owen 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  i8i 

would  have  understood  him  better,  perhaps.  It 
did  not  cross  her  wildest  dreams  that  Owen,  look- 
ing down  at  her  with  those  kind  and  intimate  eyes, 
had  every  reason  to  understand  him  best  of  all. 

Owen  never  talked,  as  Nick  did,  heavily,  about 
problems,  as  if  they  were  things  you  could  try  to 
get  right.  He  did  not  seem  to  think  there  were 
any  problems.    He  mentioned  Nicolas  once. 

"Young  Pennant  was  in  the  same  house  that  I 
was  at  school,"  he  said  lightly.  *lf  you  don't  mind 
my  saying  so,  he  was  a  bit  of  a  prig." 

But  Joy  did  mind  his  saying  it;  she  could  not 
bear  to  hear  criticisms  of  her  friends. 

"I  think  he  always  saw  so  very  clearly  what  was 
right,"  she  said  a  little  stiffly. 

Owen  laughed. 

"Saw  so  very  clearly  what  was  wrong,  you 
mean,  don't  you?"  he  asked  good  humoredly. 

The  light  on  the  apples  became  fierier  still  un- 
der the  low,  red  sky;  they  were  so  vivid  that  they 
looked  enchanted;  and  Owen,  leaning  beside  her, 
laughing  down  into  her  eyes,  looked  enchanted, 
too.  There  was  something  dazzling  about  him, 
as  if  he  were  more  than  just  her  friend  and  Julia's 
husband.    He  was  beautiful  and  strange. 

Owen  joined  the  two  girls  in  the  library  for 


l82 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


tea,  and  afterward  he  suggested  taking  Joy  for 
a  drive. 

**It  '11  be  dark  before  we  get  back,"  he  said, 
**but  it 's  not  cold  and  it 's  stopped  raining.  Do 
come  for  an  hour's  spin." 

*'And  Nina?"  Joy  asked  as  usual,  but  Nina 
sht)ok  her  head.  She  said  she  had  n't  quite  fin- 
ished getting  the  post  off. 


♦There  was  something  dazzling  about  him,  as  if  he  were  more  than  just 
her  friend  and  Julia's  husband** 


While  Joy  ran  to  get  her  things  on,  Owen  sat 
quite  still,  looking  at  the  carpet  He  did  n't  seem 
to  have  anything  left  to  say  to  Nina. 

**Well,"  she  said  after  a  long  pause,  "I  don't 
know  what  you  think,  Owen,  my  lad,  but  I  think 
you  've  bitten  off  a  bigger  bit  than  you  can  chew. 
That  girl 's  good." 

Owen  winced;  her  expressions  sickened  him.  He 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  183 

did  n't  want  to  have  any  of  his  thoughts  of  Joy 
put  into  words.  He  raised  his  eyes  and  looked 
at  Nina  with  an  insolent  coldness. 

"If  I  were  you/'  he  said,  "I  'd  learn  to  hold 
my  tongue.  You  may  find  it  important  one  of 
these  days.  What  I  feel  or  what  I  don't  feel  is 
none  of  your  business." 

Nina  laughed  disagreeably. 

'^That's  rather  recent,  isn't  it?"  she  asked. 
"I  'm  paid  to  be  your  secretary,  are  n't  I  ?  But 
there  are  some  things  I  have  n't  been  paid  for, 
Owen." 

"I  'd  be  delighted,"  he  drawled,  "at  any  time 
to  write  you  out  a  check." 

Nina  flinched  as  if  he  had  deliberately  struck 
her;  the  tears  sprang, to  her  eyes. 

"That  was  a  nasty  one,"  she  muttered.  "Owen, 
you  're  about  the  worst  I  have  ever  come  across. 
Don't  let  her  find  it  out,  that 's  all." 

Joy  came  dancing  into  the  room,  but  she  stopped 
short.  Something  in  the  air  hurt.  She  looked 
questioningly  from  one  to  the  other  of  them,  but 
it  could  n't  have  come  from  Owen.  He  stood 
looking  down  at  her  with  his  laughing,  kind  eyes 
as  if  things  that  hurt  had  no  existence  at  all. 

Joy  hesitated  for  a  moment,  and  then  she  went 


1 84  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

across  the  room  and  kissed  Nina  for  the  first 
time.  She  thought  Nina  must  have  got  a  little 
cold,  because  she  felt  her  shiver  as  she  kissed  her. 

Owen  wrapped  Joy  up  beautifully  in  the  car. 
He  drove  himself,  and  they  ran  quickly  through 
the  little  village  and  out  into  the  wooded,  empty 
lanes.  The  air  was  chill  after  the  rain,  but  very 
fresh  and  sweet.  The  clouds  hung  heavy  and  low 
above  the  rusty  foliage.  Sunset  lit  the  fields  and 
hills  until  the  world  about  them  was  like  a  smol- 
dering fire. 

Owen  drove  in  silence  for  a  long  time.  Joy 
loved  the  sense  of  his  speed  and  skill.  The  inti- 
macy between  them  had  deepened  in  the  last  three 
weeks.  She  was  aware  of  it  all  the  time,  but  it 
seemed  suddenly  to  leap  into  significance  when 
they  were  alone.  Joy  had  never  thought  it  pos- 
sible to  be  as  real  a  friend  to  Owen  as  she  could 
,be  to  Julia,  but  lately  she  had  felt  as  if  she  was. 
Owen  seemed  to  communicate  with  her  ceaselessly 
at  every  point ;  the  very  air  was  full  of  his  friend- 
liness, and  when  he  sat  silent  and  absorbed  beside 
her,  she  felt  it  most  of  all.  She  had  never  known 
any  one  who  was  so  near  her  own  mind. 

Nick  had  never  realized  what  she  meant,  only 
what  she  meant  to  him.     But  Owen  understood 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  .185 

her  all  the  time,  and  although  he  was  so  tre- 
mendously clever,  he  put  himself  completely  at 
her  disposal,  so  that  she  understood  him,  too. 

He  stopped  the  car  suddenly  with  a  little  jerk 
close  to  Ashdown  Forest. 

**I  'm  going  to  take  you  to  look  at  a  favorite 
haunt  of  mine,"  he  said.  '*The  car  '11  be  all  right 
here.  Proper  things  on  your  feet?  Good  I  It  '11 
be  as  wet  as  a  bog." 

It  was  growing  dusk  already,  and  was  nearly 
dark  under  the  close  shelter  of  the  trees.  They 
followed  a  small,  soaked  footpath  till  they  came 
out  suddenly  into  a  grove  of  beech-trees.  The 
rain  had  begun  again,  but  under  the  heavy  heads 
of  the  trees  they  felt  nothing.  They  stood  as  if 
inside  a  cloister,  a  million  miles  away  from  the 
bluster  of  mankind. 

*'Let  's  sit  here  for  a  moment,"  said  Owen, 
pointing  to  a  fallen  log.     **May  I  smoke?" 

Joy  nodded,  but  she  could  not  speak.  She  did 
not  want  a  sound  to  stir  the  motionless  serenity. 

**This  kind  of  thing  makes  a  man  feel  religious,'* 
Owen  said  at  last. 

*Tes,"  said  Joy,  very  softly;  '4t 's  as  quiet  as 
prayer." 

Owen  looked  at  her  curiously. 


1 86  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  187 

"You  believe  in  all  that  sort  of  thing,  I  sup- 
pose," he  asked,  "religion,  churches,  law,  and 
gospels?" 

Joy  hesitated, 

"I  believe,"  she  said,  "In  one  thing;  at  least 
I  don't  know  even  If  I  believe  It,  because  I  sup- 
pose believing  is  being  what  you  think,  isn't  It, 
even  when  you  find  it  hard?  I  have  n't  found  it 
hard  yet,  but  I  do  believe  in  love,  Owen." 

"Love?"  asked  Owen,  his  eyes  rested  on  hers 
with  a  kindness  that  seemed  to  beseech  and  claim 
an  answering  kindness  from  her.  "But  that 's 
what  I  believe  in,  too,  Joy^  That  oughtn't  to 
pan  out  very  hard." 

"Everybody's,"  she  went  on,  "and  for  every- 
thing; I  think  it  Is  what  we  can  live  on." 

Owen  laughed  softly. 

"You  interest  me  less,"  he  said,  "when  you  make 
it  so  tall  an  order.  Never  mind,  you  do  Interest 
me.  Only  don't  tell  me,  as  you  usually  do,  just 
when  I  'm  most  counting  on  your  liking  to  be  with 
me,  that  it  would  be  quite  perfect  if  Julia  was  here, 


too!" 


Joy  looked  at  him  in  astonishment.  For  a  mo- 
ment she  did  n't  like  what  he  said,  and  then  she 
realized  with   immense   reassurance   that  Owen 


1 88  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

could  n't  mean  what  she  did  n't  like.  Of  course 
he  was  only  laughing  about  Julia. 

**It  would ht  quite  perfect,  of  course,"  she  said; 
"that 's  what 's  so  wonderful,  Owen.  I  can  really 
like  you  both  together  now;  I  don't  have  only  to 
like  you  because  you  're  Julia's  husband." 

"I  'm  glad  you  've  got  as  far  as  that,"  said 
Owen,  with  a  mocking  little  smile.  "Do  you  be- 
lieve in  friendship  between  men  and  women,  Joy? 
There  are  people,  you  know,  who  think  it  can't 
be  done.  One  or  the  other  tumbles  Into  love. 
That 's  the  Idea,  I  take  it." 

"Well,  they  might,  of  course,"  Joy  agreed,  "if 
they  were  n't  either  of  them  married." 

Owen  said  nothing  at  all  to  this;  he  amused 
himself  by  drawing  patterns  on  the  leaves  with 
the  point  of  his  stick.  He  seemed  to  be  very 
much  amused,  for  he  was  smiling  all  the  time. 

"I  wonder,"  said  Joy,  "if  I  might  ask  you 
something,  Owen — something  I  want?" 

"Don't  you  know,"  he  answered,  without  turn- 
ing his  eyes  from  the  leaf-mold  he  was  engaged 
with,  "by  now,  little  Joy,  that  you  may  ask  me 
anything  in  the  world,  and  that,  practically  speak- 
ing, I  am  incapable  of  refusing  you." 

"That 's  because  you  're  so  kind,"  said  Joy. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  189 

**I  notice  you  hardly  ever  refuse  anybody  anything. 
What  I  want  to  ask  you  is,  may  Nina  Mullory 
stay  on  till  after  Christmas?  I  'm  going  to  stay, 
you  know,  and  I  thought  it  would  be  nice  if  she 
could,  too." 

Owen  did  not  answer  for  a  moment;  then  he 
said: 

*'But  what  does  Julia  say?" 

*7ulia,"  replied  Joy,  **says  that  Miss  Mullory 
is  your  secretary,  and  you  can  make  any  arrange- 
ments you  like,  of  course." 

"But  I  may  n't  if  you  won't  let  me,"  said  Owen, 
quickly.     *What  do  you  want  Nina  to  stay  for?" 

'*It  must  be  so  horrid,"  said  Joy,  '*to  have  to 
have  Christmas  in  a  hostel.  Do  you  know,  Owen, 
I  na^er  realized  before  that  there  were  hundreds 
and  thousands  of  girls  having  to  live  in  ugly  places 
without  homes.  It 's  rather  awful,  is  n't  it?  And 
Nina  is  happy  here.  She  likes  me  now.  She 
did  n^t  at  first,  but  she  's  very  kind  about  me  now.^ 
I  'd  like  her  awfully  to  stay."^ 

*'Then  it 's  settled,  is  n't  it?"  said  Owen,  a  little 
impatiently.  "I  can't  refuse  you  anything  you  'd 
like.  Only,  Joy,  quite  seriously,  I  don't  advise  it. 
Miss  Mullory  is  quite  a  good  person  for  a  sec- 


190  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

retary,  but  she  is  n't  a  bit  suitable  for  your  friend. 
She  might  so  easily  hurt  you/* 

'*0]i,  but,  Owen,  she  wouldn't,"  said  Joy,  re- 
proachfully. *Tou  ought  to  know  her  better  than 
that.     She's  kind.'' 

''She  might  say  things  you  didn't  like,"  per- 
sisted Owen.  ''I  'd  far  rather  have  her  in  Lon- 
don. You  see  how  Julia  behaves  to  her,  don't 
you?  She  gives  orders  for  her  to  be  made  com- 
fortable and  leaves  her  alone." 

''But  can  you  be  very  comfortable  when  you 
are  left  alone,"  Joy  asked  diffidently — "not  when 
there  's  another  girl  in  the  house  being  treated 
differently,  can  you?" 

"Well,  there  you  are,"  said  Owen;  "that 's  just 
my  point.  Would  n't  it  be  simpler  not  to  have  her 
in  the  house?  Julia  would  n't  stand  it,  you  know, 
if  she  were  up.    She  'd  think  it  geneJ' 

"I  can  see  that,"  said  Joy,  "because,  of  course, 
you  two  like  best  to  be  alone  together.  But  just 
till  Julia  is  up,  mightn't  she  stay?" 

"She  can  do  exactly  as  you  like,"  said  Owen; 
"but  must  we  go  on  talking  about  her?  I  have 
been  thinking  ever  since  you  came  back  about  your 
eyes,  and  now  I  've  just  discovered  what  they're 
like:  they  're  the  color  of  very  blue  corn-flowers." 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  191 

"Are  they?''  said  Joy,  with  unembarrassed  in- 
terest. **Have  you  noticed  Julia's?  They're 
like  a  very  gray  wave,  oh,  such  a  deep-gray  wave, 
just  before  it  breaks.  You  can't  get  to  the  bot- 
tom of  them.  Tom's  are  going  to  be  exactly  the 
same."     Tom  was  the  youngest  twin. 

Owen  said  something  quite  unintelligible  under 
his  breath;  then  he  broke  up  the  picture  he  had 
made  with  the  leaf-mold. 

*  Joy,"  he  said  laughingly,  "when  did  you  learn 
to  be  as  wise  as  the  children  of  the  world  when 
you  are  so  markedly  one  of  the  children  of  light?" 

"I  'm  not  wise  at  all,"  said  Joy.  "What  do 
you  mean,  Owen?" 

But  Owen  did  not  tell  her  what  he  meant.  He 
only  rose  up  rather  suddenly,  and  walked  out  of 
the  circle  of  beech-trees  which  were  as  quiet  as 
prayer. 


XIII 

WHEN  they  got  back  that  evening  Joy 
thought  that  Nina  must  be  going  to  have 
influenza.  She  still  sat  over  the  fire,  shivering. 
Owen  was  in  his  most  delightful  mood;  he  asked 
Joy  to  play  his  accompaniments,  and  got  out  an 
old  album  full  of  songs.  He  had  a  light,  clear 
baritone  with  a  great  deal  of  expression;  all  his 
songs  were  love-songs.  He  sang  them  like  a  man 
inspired,  and  Nina  sat  crouching  over  the  fire 
without  turning  her  head.  Joy  left  the  door  open, 
and  Julia's  door  up-stairs,  so  that  she  could  hear 
the  gay,  touching  voice  full  of  ardor  and  suppli- 
cation. She  thought  that  Julia  must  feel  almost 
as  if  Owen  was  talking  to  her.  Joy  did  not  dream 
that  Owen  sang  only  for  her,  that  his  eyes  never 
left  her  face,  while  every  nerve  In  him  responded 
passionately  to  the  extravagant  praises  he  sent  out 
upon  the  air  to  reach  her  heart. 

He  sang  on  and  on,  until  at  length  the  droop- 
ing little  figure  of  Nina  rose  up  and  left  the  room. 

192 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 


193 


Owen  stopped  abruptly  then  and  closed  the  door 
after  her. 

**Come  and  rest  a  little,"  he  said  to  Joy,  draw- 
ing a  deep  breath.      ''I  think  I  Ve  sung  myself 


out/ 


"I  want  to  go  up  to  Julia,"  Joy  objected.  She 
wondered  a  little  that  Owen  himself  did  not  sug- 
gest going  to  Julia  after  those  songs. 


^/|" 


"Joy  did  not  dream  that  Owen  sang  only  for  her" 


**No,  not  just  yet,"  Owen  pleaded;  "stay  a 
little  with  me." 

Joy  sat  down  by  the  fire  in  a  kind  of  dream; 
her  heart  seemed  swung  out  of  her  body  upon 
a  tide  of  music.  The  silence  of  the  room  was 
full  of  remembered  sound.  The  great  claims  and 
promises  of  love,  set  to  such  lilting  tunes,  be- 
sieged hei  imagination.  All  this  enchanted,  peril- 
ous secret  was  still  unlearned. 


194  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Owen  moved  about  the  room  restlessly  for  a 
minute  or  two,  then  sat  down  on  the  floor  by 
the  fire  and  leaned  back  against  her  knees. 

Joy  was  startled  for  a  moment  by  his  sudden 
proximity,  but  there  was  something  so  natural 
in  his  being  there  that  she  had  not  the  heart  to 
move  away  from  him.  It  would  have  seemed  like 
an  unkindness.  She  felt  curiously  tired,  and  just 
sitting  there,  leaning  against  the  cushions,  with 
Owen's  head  resting  on  her  knees,  was  the  most 
peaceful  thing  that  had  ever  happened  to  her. 

As  for  Owen,  he  gave  a  little  sigh  of  complete 
content. 

'*I  'm  in  heaven,''  he  whispered,  **with  one  of 
the  angels,  Joy." 

She  hardly  heard  what  he  said.  She  had  two 
opposing  feelings  struggling  in  her.  An  instinct 
that  just  being  there  close  to  Owen,  alone  by 
themselves,  was  so  beautiful  that  it  must  be  right; 
and  an  instinct  which  was  no  less  strong,  that 
Julia  was  alone  up-stairs,  and  should  n't  be  for- 
gotten for  the  sake  of  any  beauty. 

She  gave  a  little  sigh,  and  slowly  withdrew  her- 
self from  his  leaning  head.  Owen  jumped  up  and 
stood  in  front  of  her;  his  breath  came  quickly. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  195 

"You  're  not  going  now?'''*  he  asked,  as  If  some- 
thing had  happened  to  prevent  her  going. 

'Tes,"  said  Joy;  "I'm  going  to  Julia  first, 
unless  you  want  to  go  to  her,  then  to  Nina.  I 
don't  think  Nina  is  quite  well." 

Owen  said  something  that  sounded  very  like 
"Damn  Nina!"  but  one  look  at  Joy  quieted  him; 
she  was  wholly  unaware  of  any  possible  reason 
for  damning  Nina. 

"Say  you  don't  want  to  go,  and  I  '11  let  you," 
he  said  impulsively.  It  hadn't  occurred  to  Joy 
that  there  could  be  any  question  of  Owen  pre- 
venting her.  She  saw,  however,  that  he  was  in 
a  strange  mood;  perhaps  all  that  music  had  ex- 
cited him.  ,  So  she  said  truthfully: 

"I  should  really  rather  stay,  it  is  so  quiet  here, 
after  the  music ;  but  I  do  want  to  go  to  Julia,  too, 
of  course." 

He  let  her  go  then,  or,  rather,  he  turned  quickly 
and  walked  toward  the  window,  and  though  Joy 
had  no  idea  that  there  was  anything  to  escape 
from,  she  took  the  opportunity  of  slipping  away 
without  further  expostulation. 

She  sat  with  Julia  for  an  hour.  It  was  late 
then,  so,  after  she  had  paused  outside  Nina's 
door  and  heard  nothing,  she  decided  Nina  must 


[196  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

be  asleep  and  that  it  would  be  better  not  to  disturb 
her.  Perhaps  she  was  not  ill  after  all,  but  the 
music  had  upset  her. 

Joy  kneeled  down  by  her  open  window.  It 
was  very  dark  outside,  and  the  rain  fell  again, 
persistently,  but  without  violence.  She  thought  of 
her  home,  and  all  the  beauty  of  the  hills  and  sea 
came  vividly  before  her.  She  almost  heard  the 
>vaterfalls  whispering  and  withdrawing  their  in- 
numerable secrets ;  the  memory  of  the  open  moors, 
held  high  against  the  sky,  came  like  a  sudden  fresh- 
ness upon  her  spirit.  She  thought  of  Rock  Lodge 
with  a  fixity  of  all  her  being,  as  if  she  were  seeing 
It  for  the  last  time.  Then  she  heard  a  light  tap 
at  her  door.  Nina  entered  hurriedly  as  if  she 
were  frightened,  but  for  a  moment  or  two  she  said 
nothing.  Then  she  began  to  speak  quickly  and 
as  If  she  were  forcing  herself  to  a  task  which  was 
half  against  her  will. 

**I  have  come,"  she  said,  "to  tell  you  something. 
|You  Ve  been  kind  to  me.  I  don't  know  whether  I 
ought  to  speak  or  not,  but  I  can't  stand  it.  You  've 
got  to  know.  Won't  you  sit  down  somewhere, 
and  not  kneel  as  if  you  were  saying  your  prayers  ?" 

Joy  moved  a  chair  forward  for  Nina. 

"You  're  very  tired,"  she  said  softly.    "I  hoped 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  197 

you  had  gone  to  sleep,  or  else  I  should  have  come 
in  to  ask  how  you  were." 

''Sleep?  No,  it's  not  likely  I  should  sleep," 
said  Nina.  *'Sit  there  yourself.  I  can't  sit  down. 
Has  n't  Mrs.  Ransome  told  you  anything  at  all?" 

Joy  shook  her  head. 

"But  if  it 's  something  about  Julia,"  she  said 
quickly,  ''don't  tell  me.  She  herself  weuld  if  she 
wanted  me  to  know." 

"It  is  n\  only  about  her,"  said  Nina  in  a  quick, 
breathless  voice;  "it 's  about  the  whole  thing,  and 
I  've  a  right  to  speak.  I  don't  know  whether  I  'd 
better  or  not,  but  I  know  I  've  a  right.  It  does  n't 
seem  like  a  friend  to  have  you  here  and  risk  any- 
thing, but  I  never  have  been  able  to  make  her 
out,  anyway.  I  could  n't  expect  her  to  stand  me, 
but  before  she  knew,  she  need  n't  always  have  be- 
haved as  if  it  was  her  business  to  be  kind,  not 
as  if  she  wanted  to  be.  There  's  things  a  girl 
can't  stand — ^what  he  said  to  me  to-night.  He 
oughtn't  to  have  said  it;  and  then  to  sing  all 
those  songs — he  used  to  call  them  mine — to  sing 
them  as  if  I  was  n't  there.  He  thinks  I  'm  not 
made  of  flesh  and  blood,  that 's  all,  or  else  he 
just  does  n't  care. 

"If  a  man  like  Owen  is  in  love  with  you,  he  runs 


1198  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

blind  like  a  horse  In  blinkers.  It 's  only  you  he 
sees,  and  if  he  Is  n't  In  love  with  you^  he  does  n't 
think  of  you  at  all.  You  are  n't  a  human  being; 
you  're  just  a  thing  in  the  way.  I  'm  going  to- 
morrow, anyhow.  I  'm  fed  up.  Look  here,  Miss 
Featherstone  dear,  do  you  know  anything  at  all?" 

Joy  stared  blankly  at  her,  like  a  creature  fas- 
cinated. 

*Well,"  said  Nina,  **I  'm  not  what  you'd  call 
respectable.  Do  you  understand  that?  And  it 's 
Owen  Ransome's  fault  that  I  'm  not.  I  did  n't 
mean  any  harm  when  I  came  here;  I  '11  swear  I 
did  n't.  I  just  came  for  the  lark;  I  'vc  been  fond 
of  him  for  years.  It 's  only  been  on  and  off,  you 
know,  on  his  part,  but  I  've  stood  that.  You  're 
always  having  to  stand  something  if  you  're  In 
love.  He  's  like  that.  She  knows  it,  Mrs.  Ran- 
some  does.  She  's  done  everything  to  keep  him, 
turned  the  house  upside  down,  and  filled  It  with 
God  knows  who  because  he  likes  queer  fish.  She  's 
stood  by  him  time  and  time  again  when  he  's  got 
into  a  mess.  About  six  months  ago  he  as  near  as 
makes  no  matter  got  into  the  courts,  but  she  sv/ore 
black  was  white  for  him,  and  they  believed  her. 
I  don't  believe  she  tells  lies  easily;  she  doesn't 
look  like  It.     But  she  needn't  have  treated  me 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  199 

like  dirt  I  did  n't  mean  a  thing  down  here  but 
to  do  a  piec€  of  work  I  could  n't  get  him  to  settle 
to  In  town.  He  's  a  wonderful  head  for  business, 
Owen  has ;  only  he  's  lazy. 

**She  came  In  one  day  suddenly  when  I  was 
alone  with  him.  It  was  awkward,  I  '11  admit,  but 
he  might  have  got  out  of  It  somehow  If  he  'd 
tried.  Perhaps  she  got  him  Into  a  corner, — ^he 
can't  stand  being  got  In  a  corner, — so  he  probably 
turned  nasty  and  gave  us  both  away.  Anyhow,  the 
fat  was  In  the  fire. 

'*She  'd  had  enough,  poor  thing;  I  suppose  his 
bringing  me  down  looked  a  bit  too  steep.  I  can't 
blame  hen  I  've  felt  like  It  many  a  time,  but  I 
never  had  the  pluck. 

"You  see,  dear,  what  happened  to  Mrs.  Ran- 
some  was  n't  an  accident:  she  meant  to  do  herself 
In.  Oh,  my  God,  dear,  don't  faint!  You're  as 
white  as  glass!" 

Joy  covered  her  face  with  her  hands.  She  had 
queer  Images  going  on  In  her  mind:  the  twins 
eating  bread  and  milk  In  the  nursery,  the  smart 
white  fox-terriers  running  at  Owen's  heels, — ^he 
had  a  masterly  way  of  training  dogs, — the 
starched,  stiff  parlormaid  Impassively  laying  tea, 
church  on  Sunday,  and  the  pew  full  of  the  occu- 


200  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

pants  of  Pollards,  all  regular  and  handsome  and 
solid.  What  was  happening  to  the  inside  of  these 
hollow  beings?  Was  everything  that  looked  so 
safe  a  bog  under  one's  feet?  Nina  was  speaking 
again. 

^*I  could  n't  stand  it,"  she  repeated — *'to  see  you 
here,  and  he  starting  it  all  up  again,  me  not  out 
of  the  house,  and  you  her  friend.  Well,  it  was 
a  bit  too  thick,  was  n't  it?  And  I  have  my  pride. 
He  '11  chuck  me  for  this,  but  I  don't  care  now; 
he  should  n't  have  said  what  he  did,  not  after — 
you  do  look  shocking,  Miss  Featherstone  dear. 
Do  take  a  glass  of  water  or  something." 

'*No,  no,"  said  Joy;  '*I  don't  want  anything." 
She  rose  slowly  to  her  feet,  holding  on  to  the 
back  of  her  chair.  She  was  quite  steady  now, 
and  she  understood.  She  understood  some  of  it, 
but  she  felt  that  there  must  be  some  monstrous 
mistake  somewhere — a  mistake  less  monstrous 
than  the  truth. 

"I  must  go  to  Julia,"  she  said.  **Let  me  pass, 
please;  I  must  see  Julia!" 


XIV 

MISS  MULLORY  made  an  impulsive  move- 
ment to  catch  hold  of  her,  but  Joy  was 
gone  before  she  could  touch  her. 

It  was  nearly  dark  in  Julia's  room.  She  was 
still  awake,  and  reading  by  the  light  of  a  small 
electric  lamp ;  but  she  flung  her  book  aside  as  Joy 
reached  the  little  circle  of  light. 

**My  dear!  my  dear!"  she  said,  *'has  anything 
happened?" 

*'I  don't  think  It  can  have  happened,"  said  Joy, 
slowly,  *'but  you  must  tell  me  if  it  has.  Is  it 
true,  Julia?     Is  it  true  about  Owen?" 

'What  about  Owen?"  Julia  asked  steadily. 
There  was  a  peculiar  tone  in  Julia's  voice  which 
made  Joy  feel  as  if  it  might  be  true.  It  was  the 
tone  of  a  person  who  knows  defense  is  vain.  Joy 
came  quite  close  to  the  bed,  but  she  did  not  try 
to  touch  Julia;  she  only  looked  at  her.  Her  heart 
was  in  her  eyes.  There  was  nothing  in  It  but  pity 
— pity  as  few  human  beings  ever  know  pity,  a  pas- 
sion as  selfless  and  as  terrible  as  fire. 


202  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Joy  spoke  as  If  her  own  heart  was  a  broken 
thing. 

**0  Julia,"  she  said,  **he  loves  you  I  He  must 
love  you." 

It  made  Julia  wince. 

**You  ought  n't,"  she  said,  '*to  have  come  into 


"She  was  still  awake,  and  reading  by  the  light  of  a  small  lamp'* 

this  thing.  Who  has  told  you  anything  about 
Owen,  and  what  have  they  told  you?" 

Joy  could  not  repeat  Nina's  story.  She  kneeled 
down  by  the  bed,  with  her  eyes  fixed  on  Julia's. 

**I  expect  It  must  be  everything,"  she  said — 
**about  the  accident,  and  why  it  wasn't  an  acci- 
dent, and  other  women.  Poor  little  Nina  told 
me — poor  little  Nina,  too  I" 

**0h,  don't  be  sorry  for  her  I"  said  Julia,  im- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  203 

patiently.     *  What 's  the  use  of  being  sorry  for 
girls  like  that?" 

**Ah,  but  girls  are  n't  like  that,  are  they,"  in- 
terrupted Joy,  *'not  first?" 

Julia  was  silent  for  a  moment;  she  wanted  all 
Joy's  pity,  but  she  realized  that  there  was  too 
much  of  it  There  was  so  much  of  it  that  she 
couldn't  have  it  all;  there  was  even  some  of  It 
left  for  Owen. 

^'Don't,"  she  said  sharply — *'don't  pity  him!  I 
can't  bear  it.  I  've  been  a  fool  myself  long  enough. 
From  the  very  first  I  ought  to  have  known ;  Nick 
told  me,  *Owen  always  had  a  bad  weak  spot;  he's 
too  viciously  easy.'  I  could  have  killed  Nick  for 
saying  it,  but  it 's  true.  When  the  ground  was  cut 
from  under  my  feet  I  believed  in  him,  and  I 
thought,  when  I  had  to  believe  It,  that  I  could 
pull  things  straight  again.  He  didn't  like  all 
the  things  I  liked,  so  I  gave  them  up — shaving  a 
real  home  and  taking  care  of  my  babies.  You 
must  have  seen  how  I  made  my  life,  I  forced  it 
to  match  his,  to  try  to  keep  him;  and  I  never 
kept  him, 

'1  can't  do  It  any  more  now.  Something  has 
broken  in  me.  He  always  got  out  of  every  diffi- 
culty, and  left  me  in  it  to  stand  the  racket.  You 


204  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

see,  if  you  think  of  yourself  first,  you  can  always 
escape.  The  danger  is  there  just  the  same,  but 
somebody  else  gets  caught  in  it.  He's  never  had 
a  failure ;  they  were  all  mine.  But  he  '11  fail  now, 
thank  God!" 

'*What  do  you  mean,  Julia,"  Joy  cried — **he  '11 
fail  now?  Is  there  anything  worse  that 's  going  to 
happen?" 

Julia's  gray  eyes  turned  as  bright  as  steel. 

"Yes,"  she  said.  "Why  do  you  suppose  I  had 
you  here  ?  To  comfort  me  ?  There  is  no  comfort 
for  wrongs  like  mine.  I  did  n't  mean  you  to  know 
all  this  stuff;  I  only  meant  Owen  to  get  to  care 
for  you — and  fail. 

"I  love  you,  and  I  risked  you  for  that.  I  want 
him  to  know  just  for  once  what  it  is  to  be  ashamed 
of  your  own  heart.  That 's  what  he  's  made 
women.  I  knew  you  were  safe;  you've  always 
cared  for  Nick,  so  I  played  you.  Don't  blame 
me  too  much,  Joy !  I  've  been  turning  to  stone 
for  years,  and  stones  do  cruel  things.  Only  help 
me  to  bring  it  off.  Don't  let  him  know  you  know. 
He  '11  be  fool  enough  to  try  to  make  love  to  you. 
Let  him  know  then  I" 

"Oh,  no!  no,  Julia!"  Joy  cried  out  suddenly. 
"I  think  something  will  happen  to  me  if  he  tells 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  205 

me  that.'*  There  was  an  ominous  note  in  Joy's 
voice  that  frightened  Julia  for  a  moment;  Joy  had 
cried  out  as  if  she  had  gone  one  step  beyond  what 
she  could  bear.  It  was  like  the  cry  of  some  one 
sinking  suddenly  out  of  their  depth.  Julia  looked 
at  Joy  in  a  puzzled  way. 

^^Don't  take  it  too  hard,"  she  said  soothingly. 
**The  worst  of  everything  is  over  now.  You  can't 
go  on  feeling,  you  know,  beyond  a  certain  point." 

**It  is  n't — it  can't  be  over  yet,"  whispered  Joy.. 
**Julia  dearest,  it 's  all  been  so  awful  for  you,  I 
can't  take  it  in  yet.  I  'm  trying  to,  but  I  can't. 
It  only  hurts  me  without  letting  me  see.  I  don't 
suppose  I  can  ever  understand  how  awful  it  has 
been  for  you,  but  it  could  be  worse,  it  could  be 
worse,  if  you  make  Owen  worse.  O  Julia,  we 
can't  do  that!  Perhaps  I  have  already,  because 
I  did  n't  know;  but  I  do  know  now,  and  you  love 
him.  You  don't  want  Owen  to  do  another  bad 
thing?" 

*'I  hate  him,"  said  Julia  in  a  suffocated  voice. 
"He  's  the  father  of  my  children,  and  I  hate  him ! 
If  I  could  make  him  suffer  for  a  moment  a  tenth 
of  what  I  have  suffered,  I  'd  die  happy." 

**But  that 's  only  because  you  love  him,"  Joy 
persisted.     **You  would  n't  want  to  drag  him  into 


2o6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

being  like  you,  you  wouldn't  feel  so  tortured  If 
you  were  n't  part  of  him.  You  only  want  him 
different.  That 's  what  is  so  awful  for  you,  his 
not  being  different.  It 's  because  he  is  n't,  be- 
cause he  can't  be,  that  you  're  so  unhappy.  It 
would  only  make  you  unhappier  if  he  was  cruel 
to  me,  too." 

**No,  no !"  protested  Julia.  "I  want  him  to  see 
= — you  don't  understand — I  'm  ashamed,  Joy.  I  've 
loved  him,  wanted  his  worthless  love,  cried  for  it, 
hungered  for  it,  nearly  died  because  I  could  n't 
get  it !  That 's  all  fed  his  vanity.  I  want  to  see 
him  starved  as  I  've  been  starved !" 

Joy  said  nothing  at  all;  she  only  looked  at 
Julia. 

"You  judge  me,  Joy,"  Julia  asked  with  trem- 
bling lips — "you  judge  me,  and  not  Owen?" 

"Oh,  but  I  don't,"  said  Joy;  "I  don't  judge 
either  of  you  at  all.  I  love  you  both,  and  I  'm 
unhappy  for  you  both." 

"O  Joy,  I  should  n't  have  made  you  unhappy  I" 
whispered  Julia,  and  as  she  spoke  something  hard 
and  heavy  in  her  melted,  and  she  began  to  cry. 
Joy  took  her  in  her  arms  then  and  held  her  there 
as  if  she  were  her  child.  Her  pity  had  its  way 
now;  it  sank  down  and  down  into  Julia's  very  be- 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  207 

ing.  The  broken  phrases  of  Julia's  hopeless  grief 
poured  out  of  her  like  some  hard  obstacles  that 
suddenly  give  way  under  a  flood  of  waters.  She 
was  escaping  from  what  her  heart  had  held;  her 
bitterness  receded  from  her,  the  cruelty  that  had 
risen  up  out  of  the  wreck  of  her  love,  the  jealous 
misdifectioxi  of  her  outraged  pride  yielded,  ,and 
every  word  of  her  heart's  bitterness  as  it  fell 
from  her  entered  into  Joy's  heart  like  a  sword. 

This  was  what  love  could  mean:  the  sound 
which  had  set  Joy's  spirit  upon  those  strange  sweet 
tides,  the  blessed  sense  of  unity  when  she  and 
Owen  were  alone  and  near,  could  they  deceive? 
These  disconnected  spirits,  this  restless  agony, 
mistrust  and  broken  faith,  were  they  the  end  o£ 
love? 

But  in  her  heart  love  had  no  end;  the  cries  of 
Julia's  pain,  the  truth  of  Owen's  selfishness,  did 
nothing  to  shake  her  own  amazing  tenderness. 
She  only  loved  them  more,  because  she  saw  quite 
plainly  there  was  more  need  for  love. 

There  was  a  darkness  all  about  her,  a  jangling 
darkness,  as  If  she  had  been  caught  in  a  tunnel 
where  there  was  neither  light  nor  air;  but  the 
darkness  was  outside  of  her,  it  was  a  wall  before 
her  eyes,  it  had  not  touched  her  heart. 


2o8  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

It  was  nearly  morning  when  Julia  said  suddenly, 
after  a  long  silence : 

"Do  what  you  like,  then,  Joy.  Let  him  off 
If  you  like.  I  see  what  I  wanted  wouldn't  do 
any  good.  I  don't  see  how  you  Ve  made  me  see 
It.  I'm  not  sorry  for  him;  why  should  I  be? 
But  I  suppose  you  are  right,  since  love  is  out  of 
the  question;  It  won't  do  any  particular  good 
simply  to  hate.  It  would  only  be  like  falling  off 
the  house  to  die  and  breaking  my  leg  once  again. 
I  won't  even  do  that  any  more.  I  '11  settle  down 
and  look  after  my  twins." 

Julia  laughed  a  little  hopeless,  amused  laugh, 
kissed  Joy,  and  fell  asleep. 

The  house  was  quite  dark  and  still,  and  Joy  was 
all  alone  In  it.  Nina  had  gone  back  to  her  room 
and  slept.  Owen  slept.  There  was  no  one  to 
share  her  vigil. 

She  crept  back  to  her  room  and  to  the  open 
window  again.  The  air  blew  cool  and  fresh  against 
her  forehead.  She  remembered  death.  She  had 
been  so  terrified  of  It  for  Rosemary;  the  thought 
of  It  had  ridden  her  for  months  like  a  nightmare, 
and  when  it  came  it  was  sweet  and  delivering. 

She  had  seen  love  made  terrible  to-night,  but 
perhaps  love,  too,  was  innocent  of  the  terrors 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  209 

that  surrounded  it.  What  terror  could  there  be 
in  tenderness? 

If  she  ran  away  from  it  and  tried  to  escape  it, 
would  she  even  know  that  it  could  prove,  like 
death,  a  great  alternative  to  disaster?  Her  first 
impulse  had  been  to  go  away  instantly,  not  to  see 
Owen  again,  or  risk  having  to  judge  him.  She 
would  not  judge  him  now,  but  she  might  have 
to  stay.  She  must  not  let  him  think  she  had  a 
horror  of  him — a  horror  so  great  that  she  had  to 
run  away,  shaking  the  dust  off  her  feet. 

She  mustn't  do  that;  she  must  stay  until  he 
saw  that  though  she  knew,  she  cared,  and  though 
she  cared,  she  could  n't  ever  give  him  what  It 
was  wrong  for  them  to  want. 

She  would  go,  then,  but  she  could  n't  go  before.; 
She  leaned  her  head  low  on  her  hands  and  prayed. 

She  did  not  think  of  herself  any  more.  Until 
the  sun  rose  out  of  a  bank  of  cloud  and  flooded  the 
garden  with  the  surprise  of  day,  she  thought  with- 
out ceasing  of  Julia,  of  Owen,  and  Nina.  She 
drove  her  tired  heart  against  their  pain  like  an 
exhausted  soldier  pressing  on  under  fire  toward  an 
invisible  goaLi 


XV 

IT  was  an  uncomfortable  day.  The  rain  swept 
round  the  house  In  sheets,  the  wind  thundered 
in  the  void  of  the  sky,  descending  to  tear  down  the 
last  leaves  in  a  savage  spite,  and  to  crash  against 
the  doors  and  windows  with  an  intermittent  pum- 
meling,  like  the  roll  of  heavy  seas  against  a  ship. 

Owen  sat  in  a  large  leather  armchair  before 
the  fire.  He  had  the  '^Times''  spread  open  on 
his  knees,  but  he  was  not  reading  it,  and  a  cigarette 
in  his  mouth,  which  he  had  allowed  to  go  out. 
He  was  in  a  very  curious  state  of  mind.  Joy  had 
not  come  down  to  breakfast  that  morning,  nor 
was  she  in  the  nursery  afterward.  His  whole  be- 
ing needed  her.  He  felt  like  a  castaway  on  a 
desert  island  hunting  for  a  welL  Unless  he  could 
find  it,  he  was  lost.  Even  with  finding  it  he  might 
be  lost,  but  his  immediate  need  was  greater 
than  his  fear  of  subsequent  dangers.  His  thirst 
consumed  him. 

Owen  was  no  deliberate  sinner;  he  was  fastidi- 
ous and  light-hearted.     Consequences  never  ap- 

210 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  211 

palled  him  until  they  happened,  and  privilege  had 
usually  exempted  him  from  their  happening.  If 
it  is  hard  for  a  rich  man  to  enter  into  the  kingdom 
of  heaven,  it  is  sometimes  as  hard  for  him  to  go 
into  the  kingdom  of  hell.  He  does  not  go  very 
much  farther  than  the  portal.  The  devil  does 
the  rest. 

Owen  was  quite  sure  that  he  would  never  do 
Joy  any  harm.  She  did  not  belong  either  to  the 
type  or  to  the  class  of  women  to  whom  harm 
comes.  He  did  not  even  want  to  change  that  look 
of  steady  confidence  in  her  eyes.  He  was  like  a 
child  who  clamors  that  he  will  not  destroy  his 
Sunday  toy;  only  when  it  is  put  into  his  hands 
his  carelessness  destroys  it. 

Owen  vowed  to  himself  that  he  would  not  be 
careless  this  time.  No  woman  had  ever  touched 
his  heart  as  deeply  as  Joy, had  touched  it.  She 
believed  in  him  with  an  unruffled  steadiness;  other 
women  had  believed  in  himi  but  they  had  n't  made 
him  believe  in  himself.  Since  he  had  known  Joy, 
Owen  felt  sure  that  he  was  a  better  man.  He 
was  not  even  very  angry  with  Nina  for  suddenly 
disappearing  without  a  word,  leaving  him  all  his 
letters  to  answer.  Many  men  would  have  dis- 
missed a  secretary  for  less. 


212  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

Of  course  Owen  was,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  deeply 
thankful  that  Nina  had  gone ;  but  he  had  tricked 
so  many  people  that  at  a  pinch  he  could  trick  him- 
self. He  told  himself  now  that  Nina's  sudden  de- 
parture was  very  inconvenient. 

He  was  not  going  to  make  love  to  Joy.  All 
yesterday  he  had  resisted  the  temptation;  it  was 
only  when  Joy  herself  was  not  there  that  he  failed 
to  resist  it.  He  told  himself  that  this  temptation 
which  he  intended  to  resist  was  really  Julia's  re- 
sponsibility. She  should  n't  have  put  the  girl  in 
his  way.  She  was  perfectly  safe,  of  course,  but 
she  should  n't  have  been  put  there. 

Better  men  than  he  would  have  been  tempted. 
He  saw  where  these  better  men  would  have  fallen, 
and  he  rose  superior  to  them,  but  without  much 
conviction.  Better  men  seldom  came  into  his  field 
of  vision  except  when  he  was  excusing  himself. 
Well,  thank  God,  Nina  was  out  of  the  house! 

In  some  vague,  inexplicable  way  Owen  was 
shocked  that  Nina  should  know  Joy.  He  really 
blamed  himself  sharply  for  this  unfortunate  coin- 
cidence. He  was  not  shocked  that  Joy  should 
know  himself. 

A  knock  came  at  the  door,  and  Joy  entered. 
He  sprang  to  his  feet  to  welcome  her.     She  had 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  213 

never  come  to  his  room  like  this  before;  it  was 
as  if  some  wonderful  answering  need  in  her  had 
drawn  her  to  him,  one  of  those  inexplicable  mir- 
acles of  dawning  love,  speechless,  obscure,  and 
wise. 

**I  am  going  away,"  she  said  in  a  very  low  voice, 
**this  afternoon.    I  wanted  to  see  you  first,  Owen." 

And  then  he  saw  her  face.  She  had  been  a 
child  yesterday,  and  now  the  child  was  dead.  Her 
grave,  white  face  had  no  mark  in  it  left  of  her 
youth.  Her  cheeks  still  kept  their  sweet,  round 
curves,  but  her  eyes  had  lost  their  happy  light, 
the  young,  half-opened  lips  were  closed  by  sharp 
control.  She  stood  there,  very  gentle  and  quiet, 
quite  near  him,  and  in  her  eyes  there  was  neither 
reproach  nor  faltering;  but  he  saw  In  a  moment 
that  she  knew. 

He  gave  a  long,  inarticulate  sound  of  pain  and 
rage.  Only  Julia  could  have  dealt  him  this  cruel 
stroke.  She  had  waited  until  every  nerve  and 
thought  of  his  heart  were  set  upon  this  creature 
of  his  dreams,  and  then  with  a  quick,  ruthless 
touch  she  had  set  them  apart  forever.  A  feeling 
as  hot  and  hard  as  murder  rose  up  and  shook  him; 
but  Owen  could  n't  get  rid  of  his  pain  by  anger. 
As  he  met  Joy's  eyes,  murder  felt  inadequate. 


214  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

If  she  had  only  blamed  him,  ranged  herself  on 
the  side  of  his  enemies,  she  would  at  least  have 
roused  his  self-pity,  and  not  forced  him  to  feel 
that  he  had  done  a  worse  wrong  than  any  he  had 
suffered.  But  she  didn't  blame  him;  she  only 
looked  at  him  as  if  she  herself  was  to  blame.  He 
knew  as  he  met  her  diffident,  appealing  eyes  that 
the  avenging  angel  has  not  a  sword. 

**Joy,"  he  said  huskily,  **they  Ve  told  you  I  'm  a 
blackguard,  haven't  they?  I  suppose  you  must 
believe  them,  and  if  you  don't  believe  them,  I  '11 
have  to  tell  you  myself.    You  can  believe  me  ?" 

She  did  not  seem  to  see  that  this  was  almost  like 
exculpating  himself.  He  hesitated  for  a  moment, 
and  then  he  poured  out  to  her  the  whole  shifting, 
evasive  history  of  his  hunts  and  captures.  There 
had  been  so  much  personal  disappointment  mixed 
up  with  them  I  So  many  women  had  failed  him ! 
They  had  even  tried  to  deceive  him  into  believing 
them  less  exacting  and  fatiguing  than  they  were. 
There  is  always  a  great  deal  to  be  said  for  a  man 
who  has  been  too  popular  with  women.  Owen 
said  it  almost  better  than  any  one  else.  Women 
had  been  selfish  with  him;  they  had  tried  to  pin 
him  down.  They  had  taken  his  charming  manner 
too  seriously.    Judged  by  this  standard  of  a  man 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  215 

of  the  world,  he  had  n't  really  done  anything  par- 
ticularly wrong.  He  had  been  a  victim  of  circum- 
stances. The  circumstances  had  been  rather  too 
much  alike,  and  so,  it  must  be  confessed,  had  the 
victim.    Still,  he  had  not  meant  any  harm. 

Then  he  swerved  suddenly  and  took  another 
line  altogether — a  line  that  would  appeal  to  Joy 
more.  He  threw  over  the  standard  of  a  man  of 
the  world,  and  admitted  himself  the  chief  of  sin- 
ners. He  could  count  on  Joy's  forgiving  crimes, 
and  while  he  insisted  on  his  guilt,  he  adroitly 
showed  her  that  his  humility  was  more  striking 
still ;  but  he  found  that  the  elan  of  these  two  ex- 
planations mysteriously  failed  him.  It  was  as  if 
he  became  aware  that  Joy  did  not  attach  any  im- 
portance to  his  presentation  of  his  sins,  nor  per- 
haps even  to  the  sins  themselves.  What  really 
had  brought  that  look  of  death  into  her  eyes  was 
what  his  sins  had  made  of  him,  a  man  she  could 
not  wholly  trust. 

**Owen,"  she  said  at  last,  as  if  he  Jiad  not 
spoken,  *'you  '11  be  kind,  won't  you,  to  Nina?" 

''Has  she  told  you?"  he  asked  fiercely,  ''or  was 
it  Julia?"  He  could  feel  angry  again  now;  the 
perfidy  of  jealous  women  outraged  his  sense  of 
justice. 


2i6  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

But  Joy  brushed  away  his  anger;  she  said 
simply  : 

*'I  Ve  found  out  such  a  lot  of  things  lately,  and 
I  Ve  done  wrong.  I  have  made  things  hard  for 
everybody.  I  have  been  very  selfish  and  care- 
less. I  did  n't  know — I  did  n't  know  anything 
about  what  I  was  doing.  But  I  do  know  now.  It 
would  help  me  very  much,  Owen,  if  you  were  nice 
to  Nina." 

Owen  acted  with  magnanimity.  He  still  be- 
lieved that  Julia  had  told  her.  He  said,  after  a 
moment's  pause : 

**I  will  not  dismiss  her,  if  that  is  what  you 
mean." 

Joy  thanked  him  humbly. 

*There  's  another  thing,"  she  said,  *1  don't 
know  if  I  ought  to  tell  you,  but  perhaps  you 
couldn't  find  out  if  I  didn't.  Julia  loves  you. 
She  won't  ever  say  it;  but  if  you  know  it,  know  it 
in  your  heart,  it  might  make  things  easier, 
might  n't  it?" 

**Love  me,"  he  cried,  '*and  she 's  told  you 
things  that  have  hurt  you  like  this  1  O  Joy !  Joy  1 
do  you  call  that  love?" 

Joy  moved  a  little  restively;  she  didn't  like 
Owen's  accusing  Julia. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  217 

*'It  was  my  fault,"  she  said  quickly;  **I  made 
her.  I  asked  her.  If  I  'm  hurt,  as  you  say,  it 's 
because  I  Ve  been  wicked.  I  did  n't  know  it  was 
wicked ;  it  did  n't  seem  like  wickedness.  It  seemed 
so  right  to  love.  That 's  why  I  came  to  say  good- 
by.  No,  no,  don't  say  anything,  Owen!  If  you 
could  just  not  say  anything;  I  only  want  you  to 
know,  that  some  of  it  needn't  be  wicked,  not  if 
we  don't  say  anything,  and  it  makes  us  kind." 

Her  eyes  pleaded  with  him.  They  might  have 
won  him,  but  she  did  not  remember  or  even  know 
the  dreadful  power  of  her  beauty.  She  appealed 
consciously  to  his  spirit,  and  Owen  had  n't  much 
spirit;  but  she  appealed  unconsciously  to  his  senses, 
and  he  had  always  let  his  senses  have  the  last 
word  in  every  struggle. 

'*0  Joy,"  he  cried,  "do  you  mean  you  love  me? 
Do  you  mean  it  as  I  mean  it?  If  you  do,  what 
does  all  this  stuff  in  the  past  matter?  What  does 
anything  matter?  If  I'd  known  you  before.  If 
I  'd  met  you  in  time,  I  swear  I  'd  never  have 
thought  of  any  one  but  you.    My  dear !  my  dear !" 

"Don't  say  it!"  she  cried  under  h^r  breath. 
"Don't  say  it!    You  're  making  it  all  wrong!" 

But  he  had  slipped  beyond  his  slack  control; 
he  caught  her  in  his  arms  and  covered  her  golden 


2i8  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

head,  her  face,  her  lips,  with  kisses.  At  first  he 
thought  he  {had  brought  back  the  color  to  her 
lips.  The  frozen  little  figure  melted  against  his 
heart;  there  was  no  resistance  in  her  except  a 
queer,  mufiled  cry.  He  heard  as  he  caught  her 
to  him  a  cry  so  low  that  he  forced  himself  not  to 
submit  to  its  anguish.  Then  suddenly  through 
the  storm  of  his  passion  he  met  her  eyes,  and  his 
heart  failed  him.  There  was  no  expression  there 
at  all.  They  looked  straight  at  him  like  the  empty 
eyes  of  a  statue.  Joy  was  not  there ;  he  had  driven 
tier  far  away. 

He  cried  out  in  an  agony  of  fear : 

**JoyI  Joy,  my  darling  I  Speak  to  me!  Don't 
you  know  who  I  am?    Don't  you  understand?" 

But  she  made  no  answer.  She  was  warm  and 
alive,  she  had  not  even  fainted;  but  she  was  not 
there.  Her  deep,  unwavering  eyes  were  like  a 
curtain  pulled  down  between  him  and  her  con- 
sciousness. She  was  in  his  arms,  and  yet  he  could 
not  reach  her. 

Just  as  the  room  was  shaken  by  the  storm  which 
could  not  enter,  so  his  passion  held  and  shook  her, 
and  stayed  without  the  door  of  her  shut  soul. 
Without  condemning  him,  without  evading  him, 
she  had  escaped. 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  219 

For  a  few  moments  he  continued  to  hold  her  in 
a  frenzy  of  confused  anxiety,  but  there  was  no 
return  in  her  of  any  consciousness.  At  last  he 
could  bear  it  no  longer.  He  had  a  dreadful 
sense  as  if  he  had  done  something  without  excuse. 
He  forgot  his  anger;  all  his  feelings,  even  his 
great  love,  seemed  like  childish  things.  He  real- 
ized only  his  frightened  need  of  help,  and  rushed 
up-stairs  to  Julia. 

'^ulial  Julia!"  he  gasped,  "something  hap- 
pened to  Joy,  I  don't  know  what !  I  kissed  her — 
and  she  's — she  's  gone  away!" 

"Do  you  mean  out  of  the  house?"  Julia  cried, 
with  an  anxious  look  into  the  rain-swept  garden. 

"Oh,  no;  worse!  worse!"  cried  Owen.  He 
kneeled  down  by  the  bedside  and  buried  his  head 
in  the  coverlet,  as  if  to  shut  out  sight. 

"O  Julia,  her  eyes!  her  eyes!"  he  moaned. 
"She  's  gone  out  of  her  mind!  I  didn't  mean  any 
harm;  I  swear  I  didn't  mean  to  frighten  her.  I 
didn't  know  people  could  do  things  like  that. 
I  've  driven  her  out  of  it,  as  if  I  'd  taken  a  whip ! 
It 's  too  horrible !  For  God's  sake,  do  something  I 
Do  something,  Julia!" 

Julia  put  her  hands  quickly  on  his  shoulders. 

"There!  there!"  she  said.    "I  can't  stand,  but 


220  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

bring  her  here,  Owen.  Of  course  she  '11  get  bet- 
ter, and  it 's  almost  as  much  my  fault  as  yours. 
But  she  won't  stay  like  that.  Bring  her  here  to 
me. 

He  looked  up  at  Julia,  the  tears  streaming  down 
his  cheeks.  After  all,  nobody  had  ever  taken  such 
care  of  him  as  Julia. 

*7ulia,"  he  gasped,  "I'm  sorry;  I'm  sorry, 
Julia." 

It  was  the  first  time  she  had  ever  seen  him 
really  blame  himself.  Instinctively,  she  drew  his 
head  against  her  heart. 

"My  dear!  my  dearl"  she  said,  "we  've  done  a 
dreadful  wrong!  Go  quickly  and  bring  her  to 
me. 

Joy  came  quite  willingly,  hand  in  hand  with 
him,  like  a  child;  but  the  terrible  blankness  of 
her  eyes  never  changed.  It  never  changed  again. 
For  Joy  had  passed  beyond  that  line,  rigid  and 
sane,  which  binds  personality  to  the  senses.  She 
had  been  driven  out,  and  she  could  not  come  into 
her  earthly  home  again. 

The  twins  were  put  into  Joy's  arms.  She  held 
them  carefully,  but  she  never  looked  at  them. 
She  did  not  hear  words,  but  she  never  opposed 
the  touch  of  a  hand.    Her  body  was  as  gentle  and 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  221 

docile  as  her  spirit  had  made  it;  only  her  spirit 
was  no  longer  there. 

The  doctors  did  what  they  could.  Owen  sent 
for  specialist  after  specialist.  They  only  repeated 
one  another — a  peculiar  case  of  sudden  nervous 
shock  after  a  prolonged  physical  and  mental 
strain.  There  was  the  illness  and  death  of  her 
little  sister.  Miss  Feat'herstone  had  apparently 
not  quite  got  over  this  before  another  shock  super- 
seded. They  were  very  tactful.  A  few  succinct 
words  from  Julia  had  given  them  the  facts,  and 
with  **another  shock  superseded"  they  managed 
nicely.  They  all  arrived  at  this  conclusion,  but 
none  of  them  could  get  any  further. 

For  a  time  Mrs.  Featherstone  took  her  home, 
but  Mr.  Featherstone  could  not  bear  it.  He  even 
became  a  little  bitter  about  it,  though  he  never 
wholly  lost  his  faith.  He  simply  said  to  the  vicar 
that  Providence  had  been  too  hard  upon  him. 

Joy  herself  seemed  to  feel  a  peculiar  restlessness 
at  home.  She  did  not  sleep,  so  they  placed  her 
finally  in  a  beautifully  kept  asylum  where  she  could 
have  all  the  care  and  none  of  the  anxiety  of  home, 
and  she  became  less  restless  immediately. 

It  was  some  time  before  the  doctors  in  the  asy- 
lum realized  that  Joy  could  be  a  great  help  to 


222  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

them.  Nobody  ever  continued  to  be  violent  in 
her  presence.  Directly  Joy  felt  in  the  air  the 
agony  of  a  distraught  mind, — and  without  speech 
or  sight  she  seemed  to  feel  it, — her  whole  being 
responded  to  it  instantly.  A  peace,  radiant  and 
serene,  soothing  and  strange,  emanated  from  her. 
She  seemed  to  draw  out  of  the  possessed  the  fury 
of  their  possession. 

Owen  visited  her  regularly  at  first.  It  was  In- 
tensely painful  to  him,  but  for  a  long  while  he 
stood  the  pain  of  It,  though  he  agreed  with  Julia 
that  the  Featherstones  were  greatly  to  blame  for 
the  whole  wretched  business:  they  should  never 
have  allowed  Joy  to  nurse  Rosemary.  Then  their 
life  grew  gradually  comfortable  again,  and  Owen 
ceased  to  be  able  to  travel  so  far  away  from  his 
business.  If  Joy  h^d  been  conscious,  he  explained, 
he  would  have  gone,  and  Julia  agreed  with  him. 

Julia  had  become  very  much  softened.  She 
agreed  with  Owen  so  often  that  he  seldom  wished 
for  anybody  else.  He  thought  sometimes  with  a 
secret  irony  that  If  Julia  had  only  been  like  this 
before,  he  might  have  been  saved  from  his  fatal 
inadvertence. 

Only  Mrs.  Featherstone  and  Nicolas  went  reg- 
ularly to  see  Joy.     Nicolas  never  failed.     He 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  223 

came  once  a  month  by  himself,  and  sat  with  Joy 
for  an  hour.  She  never  knew  him,  and  when  he 
went  away  he  was  neither  sadder  nor  happier;  he 
was  merely  unchanged. 

The  doctor  talked  to  him  quite  freely  about 
Joy's  case,  because  he  thought  Nicolas  was  a  dis- 
tant and  sensible  relative  whose  affections  were  not 
involved;  probably  a  trustee. 

*Tersonally,"  he  said,  *'I  think  Miss  Feather- 
stone's  case  is  quite  incurable.  Perhaps  another 
great  shock  might  drag  her  back,  or  rather  let 
her  out,  because  some  of  her  is  actually  there.  I 
try  to  get  at  it  with  the  violent  cases,  but  I  can't 
get  any  further.  She  's  as  safe  as  houses  with 
them.  I  've  taken  every  precaution  and  tried 
every  test,  but  though  she  deals  with  them  direct- 
ly, somehow  it 's  not  by  any  method  of  conscious* 
ness.  Not  what  we  mean  by  it,  anyway.  I  should 
say  she  was  possessed,  only  the  other  way  round; 
not  by  the  devil,  as  some  of  these  poor  creatures 
act  as  if  they  were — ^but,  well,  it  sounds  a  curious 
thing  to  say,  by  God.  I  often  think  to  myself 
when  I  look  at  her.  The  pure  in  heart  shall  see 
God.'  Alienist  doctors  have  to  accept  strange 
theories,  you  know,  we  deal  with  such  curious 
facts.     Now,  my  point  is,  if  you  can  accept  my 


224  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

theory,  that  your  cousin  is  seeing  God,  and  there- 
fore cut  off  from  seeing  anything  else." 

Nicolas  shook  his  head. 

"She  never  did  see  any  harm  anywhere,"  he 
said.  "I  don't  know  about  God;  that's  not  my 
idea  of  Him." 

**No,"  agreed  the  doctor,  **but  is  n't  that  what 
turns  the  savage  cases  quiet?  Or  if  it  is  n't,  what 
is?  I  've  tried  her  over  and  over  again  with  all. 
the  worst  and  most  dangerous  patients.  She  sits 
there  saying  nothing,  with  that  light  in  her  eyes, 
and  they  get  quiet  under  it.  They  'd  fly  at  me 
or  a  keeper,  but  she  just  walks  straight  up  to  them, 
and  they  don't  turn  a  hair.  They  look  at  her  as 
if  she  had  cast  a  spell  on  them,  and  I  've  seen 
murder  and  vice  die  out  under  her  eyes;  and  yet 
she  can't  hear  a  word  you  say,  and  I  don't  think 
she  knows  the  difference  between  my  hand  and  a 
blade  of  grass." 

**She  was  always  like  that,"  said  Nick,  huskily, 
*Vith  dangerous  animals,  as  a  little  child.  They 
didn't  hurt  her.  It  took  a  worse  thing  than  an 
animal  to  hurt  her." 

The  doctor  coughed  discreetly.  He  wanted  to 
hear  more  about  the  case;  he  had  always  wanted 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  225 

to  know  more,  but  he  did  n't  hear  any  more  from 
Nicolas. 

After  ten  years,  the  authorities  sent  for  Nicolas 
before  the  day  o,f  his  regular  visit. 

"There  is  a  change,"  the  doctor  explained.  "She 
has  got  much  thinner  lately,  and  she  seems  some- 
how— well,  she  was  always  contented,  but  some- 


She  was  sitting  close  by  a  large  open  window" 


how  happier.  You  '11  see  for  yourself.  Her 
mother  saw  her  yesterday  and  comes  again  to- 
morrow, but  she  doesn't  know  any  one  yet." 

Nick  thought,  when  he  came  into  Joy's  room, 
that  he  had  never  seen  any  one  look  so  much 
alive.  She  was  sitting  close  by  a  large  open  win- 
dow; the   sun  shone   full  on  her  golden  head. 


226  THE  CRYSTAL  HEART 

There  was  very  little  of  her  left  but  life.  It  came 
through  her  small,  eager  hands  and  through  her 
eyes  in  a  torrent  of  happy  expectancy.  She  sat 
there  very  still  as  usual,  but  as  if  she  were  wait- 
ing for  something — something  that  she  longed 
for,  and  which  she  knew  would  come. 

Nick  stood  by  her  side  for  a  long  time  in  silence, 
— they  were  alone  together, — then  he  said  sud- 
denly : 

**Joy,  Joy,  aren't  I  unhappy  enough  yet  for 
you  to  speak  to  me?" 

She  made  no  answer,  but  she  moved  her  head 
restlessly  as  if  she  were  listening  to  something  that 
was  a  long  way  off.  Nicolas  kneeled  down  be- 
side her  and  put  his  head  in  her  lap.  Instantly 
he  felt  the  tender  pressure  of  her  hands,  and, 
looking  up  at  her,  he  saw  her  eyes  change.  They 
widened  for  a  moment,  and  then  they  suddenly 
grew  awake. 

"Nick,"  she  whispered,  *'my  dear,  don't  trouble, 
don't  be  sad;  there  's  nothing  left  but  love." 

She  held  out  her  hands  into  the  sunshine  and 
laughed.  Her  eyes,  tender  and  full  of  joy,  left  his, 
and  rested  on  what  they  saw* 


THE  CRYSTAL  HEART  227 

Nick  sprang  to  his  feet,  and  as  she  fell  forward 
he  caught  her  against  his  heart. 

She  had  never  lived  there,  but  it  was  there  she 
died« 


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